


to know how it ends now

by killsometime



Series: to know how it ends now verse [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Forced Bonding, M/M, Slow Burn, Wolf AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:40:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killsometime/pseuds/killsometime
Summary: "Donghyuck could've picked anyone. He's the pack alpha's son." Taeil hears her say.He knows what she really meant to say — why did Donghyuck pick Taeil?He wonders the same thing himself.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Series: to know how it ends now verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972003
Comments: 188
Kudos: 523
Collections: Best of Hyuckil





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Um. So. Yes. Don't look at me. Fic title from the lyrics of the song "Future Sick" by Neon Indian.
> 
> My Twitter and CC are both @cutietaeilie if you want to say hello!

The announcement doesn't come as a surprise -- Taeil's pack has been struggling for some time. The last few harvests have barely gotten them through the winter, and there aren't many children being born. So they're going to merge with a larger pack that has more alphas than them. 

What does come as a surprise is how they're going to go about it. 

"The other pack alpha's son will choose a mate from our pack and set the example for our unity and fortune moving forward. Neither of us will be submitting. It will be a relationship of equals." The head alpha says. 

Murmuring breaks out throughout Taeil's pack. Typically one pack submits to the other, and since Taeil's pack is smaller they would be the ones to submit to the stronger and larger pack. 

//

"Who do you think is going to get picked?" Yuta asks him as they finish up some washing together.

"I don't know." Taeil says. "Someone pretty. You might get picked."

"That means you too." Yuta says. Taeil rolls his eyes. 

"Maybe. But probably not." He says. Yuta frowns. 

"You're pretty."

"I'm old." Taeil says with a laugh. "I'm pretty but I'm older than what most alphas are looking for." 

He casts any thoughts of mating out of his head. 

//

The pack they're merging with lives a distance away, so they'll have to travel in the spring to the pack lands. Taeil wonders if this is implicit submission -- making their pack travel instead of the other one. 

But after the winter is over, Taeil packs up his belongings with everyone else and the pack begins the trip from the lowlands to the base of the mountains where they'll be living. 

The journey takes almost a full month, and it's tiring to travel so far by foot. They can't shift to travel, not if they want to be able to bring their things to the new village. 

Taeil can't help but feel nervous as they get closer and closer. 

"Are you okay?" Yuta asks him on the evening before they'll reach the new pack. 

"I'm fine. I don't really know what to expect." Taeil admits. 

"Me neither. Every pack dynamic is different. I don't know how we're all going to fit." Yuta agrees. 

"We'll be fine though." Taeil says, mostly to himself. 

"Of course we will." Yuta says, and bumps his shoulder against Taeil's.

//

  
Taeil looks at the pack village with wide eyes the next day. The houses are larger, and the pack is all wearing new clothes. It's clear that they're doing well for themselves. 

Like always, he has to stay with the other unmated omegas. This omega house is larger, clearly to accommodate more omegas. Taeil gets the large corner spot -- the only benefit of being the oldest. He unpacks his things into the one drawer he gets and lays out the blankets that have been assigned to him. It's supposed to be colder here, now that they're closer to the mountains. 

The pack land here is nothing like where his pack lived. Where there was scrubby bushes and dry earth, now there is nothing but endless green.

This land is rich. He understands why they had to move -- not out of submission but because this land will offer more opportunities. There are fields full of crops and fields waiting to be planted. This land is alive. 

There's a prosperous future here for their united packs. Taeil is just sorry for whoever gets saddled with a mating. 

//

Once he's done unpacking, he goes out for a walk in the forest. It's a gorgeous early summer day -- the weather is warm enough that he can be in just shirtsleeves. 

The air smells like life -- like every different kind of tree and plant coming to life after the winter and spring. 

He hasn't shifted yet here, but he can already feel that it'll be easy. Wolves are happier when the earth is flourishing.

He wanders further into the forest. The trees change from bushes and smaller trees into taller and larger ones. These trees have been here for a long time, Taeil thinks. 

He's just about to turn around and return to the village when he catches a glimpse of movement. He peers into the trees, expecting a deer or fox. But through the trees he can just make out the outline of a person. He steps closer. 

It's someone Taeil doesn't recognize -- nothing new, he doesn't know most of the members of the pack they're merging with. He doesn't realize until he's closer that it's an alpha. 

A young alpha. He has unusual features for an alpha, Taeil thinks -- there's a kind of softness in his face. 

Their eyes meet for a split-second. Taeil knows that it's impolite for an omega to stare at an alpha that he doesn't know, but he can tell that he's older than the alpha, and he doesn't care that much about propriety. 

The alpha looks him up and down, and Taeil glares in response. Now they're both being rude. While he shouldn't have made eye contact, the alpha definitely shouldn't blatantly leer at an omega that he doesn't know. 

But the alpha hides a smile at Taeil's glare. It would be charming if it weren't so impolite. 

Taeil turns on his heel and returns back the way he came, trying to ignore the alpha's eyes on his back. 

He all but runs back to the village to get away. He's never really had to worry about being caught by leering alphas. There are more omegas than alphas in his pack, so the alphas are mated and calm. 

When he gets back to the omega cabin, the omegas are talking about the mating choice. It's rare that a mating happens like this -- by such a quick choice. Most matings happen after a long courtship. To mate just based on instinct is a thing of the past. Most people aren't even driven by scent alone. To be drawn to someone's scent enough to pick them to mate is rare. 

It goes unsaid that Taeil won't be picked.

//

In the early evening, everyone is called to the center of the village. Taeil puts on a sweater and follows the other omegas. He catches a glimpse of Yuta among the crowd but they're too far away to say hello. 

He finds himself lined up with everyone else, forming neat rows. There are a few people standing in front of them -- his pack alpha, and an alpha he doesn't recognize. The other pack alpha, he realizes. And then someone else joins them. It's the alpha from earlier. He doesn't look as young like this, steeling himself in front of the two packs. 

Once everyone has found a place, the two alphas push the younger one off. It begins. The alpha hardly looks at anyone. Just slowly walks without paying close attention to anyone. It's almost painful how much he isn't interested, Taeil thinks, which seems strange considering how he'd eyed Taeil. 

The alpha starts down Taeil's row. 

He's is taller than Taeil expected. Taller than Taeil. And his nerves are showing now that he has to choose who he wants to mate. There's a crease in the alpha's forehead, and his shoulders are raised just slightly. 

He finally pauses between Taeil and the beta to his left and Taeil can see everyone's attention hone in on her. The beta is pretty and he knows her to be hardworking and kind. She'd be a good choice for a mate. 

This close, the alpha is dizzying handsome. His scent is unexpected — rich oakmoss, pine, and amber, with notes of bright yuja citrus peeking through. It's unconventional for an alpha. It's also incredibly distracting, Taeil thinks. He's never been particularly stricken by an alpha's scent before. 

And the alpha isn't looking at the beta, he's looking right at Taeil. Taeil meets the alpha's eyes for the second time. Neither of them look away.

The alpha raises an eyebrow. It makes him even more handsome, Taeil can't help but notice.

It could've been a split-second, or it could've been minutes, but then the alpha breaks eye contact and continues to wind through all the rows before coming back to the front where the two head alphas stand.

"I've chosen." The alpha says. All eyes are paying close attention. 

"Who have you selected?" Taeil's pack alpha asks. 

The alpha smiles, and turns to walk right back to the beta beside Taeil. Taeil looks down at his shoes. He was right -- the beta is a good choice. 

And the alpha's hand grasps Taeil's wrist. The touch is electric — Taeil feels immediately drawn towards the alpha, and from the way the alpha stiffens, he must have felt something similar. Taeil hates it. His instinct is working against him in the worst way possible. 

"Let go of me." Taeil hisses. The alpha ignores him. 

"This omega will be my mate." The alpha says, and Taeil watches as both packs stand in silence, staring at them. At him. The last choice. 

"Oh dear god no." Taeil mutters and the hand around his wrist tightens. It shouldn't feel good but it does. In the simplest gesture the alpha is marking what's his. And even if Taeil hates that kind of posturing, he can't deny that his omega likes it. 

They walk together to the front of the crowd, side by side. The alpha doesn't walk in front of Taeil, he waits for Taeil to lead. 

When he walks past, Yuta sends him a concerned look. Taeil grimaces but he doesn't let anything else show. It hits him that he's in front of over two hundred people.

The alpha's father eyes him, and Taeil can see his pack head look at him curiously. He can only imagine how surprising it must look for Taeil to be stood here as the intended mate to link the packs together.

"A wise choice." Taeil's pack alpha says. Taeil tries not to look as offended as he feels. He knows the alpha is lying. 

"Thank you." The alpha says. Taeil feels a surge of something pass between them. He doesn't understand what's going on. He doesn't understand how this happened. He can't say anything to stop it -- not in front of the packs like this. He'd have to be killed for the lack of submission. 

He stares resolutely at the ground. He can hear the packs talking, and then they start moving. The feast will begin soon, which is really what they all came here for. It's what Taeil thought he was coming for. Not his life ending. 

The alpha lets go of Taeil's hand, and Taeil wipes the sweat off on his trousers. 

"What's your name?" The alpha asks. 

"None of your business." Taeil responds. 

The alpha blinks in surprise, and then his scent spikes. 

"It's every bit my business." The alpha says. "I want to mate you."

"Do you have a brain or do you just have a dick?" Taeil asks. The alpha laughs but it isn't a humorous one. He steps closer. Taeil steps back. 

"I definitely have never had an omega ask me if I have a brain. They always point out my dick. I suppose you're no exception to that." 

"Don't be crude." 

"You started it." 

"I did not and you know it." Taeil snarls. "You looked at me in a disrespectful way earlier and now this?" 

"I didn't mean for it to be disrespectful." The alpha says, and suddenly he's far too close to Taeil. It isn't quite a full loom, but it comes close. 

"Mmm spiteful. You grow more attractive as we speak." The alpha says. It isn't a compliment. Taeil can just smell the base notes of the scent coming through -- none of the citrus sweetness he'd smelled when they'd first met. "My name is Donghyuck."

"I don't want to mate you." Taeil says. 

"I picked you." 

"Pick someone else." 

"I don't want to." The alpha says, his scent growing with something like attraction. Taeil finds himself responding, leaning into the alpha before he can stop himself. 

"Do it anyways. Life is full of disappointments."

"I picked you in front of both our packs. We're united once we mate."

"We're not mated yet."

"We'll be mated tomorrow." Donghyuck says and Taeil can feel the life deflate from his body. "Your pack alpha and my father agreed. Some of the alphas are getting aggressive towards one another and you've been here for a day. So you might as well tell me your name." 

"I'm Taeil." Taeil says quietly. The alpha smiles, seemingly unaware that he's doing it. 

"Taeil." Donghyuck says, like he's tasting the sound of the word. "That's a nice name." 

Taeil doesn't bother responding. It's real. Taeil is the sad sucker who's been saddled with a forced mating for the good of his pack. He doesn't want to believe it. 

"Are you hungry?" Donghyuck asks. 

"No." Taeil lies. He isn't sure he can face everyone at the feast. 

"Alright. Would you like to stay where you are for the night or move your things over to my cabin?" Donghyuck asks. 

"We can move them over." Taeil says numbly. There's no point in prolonging the inevitable. 

"Okay." Donghyuck says. He sounds surprised by Taeil's answer. "Are you sure you aren't hungry?"

"Positive." Taeil grits out. 

He's disappointed to find that Donghyuck trails him to the omega house. He'd thought that the alpha would leave him and go to the feast. 

His few belongings have already been packed up when he gets there, the bedroll and blankets stripped in preparation for the next person. Taeil feels his heart sink into his stomach. 

"Is this everything?" Donghyuck asks. Taeil nods. 

Donghyuck picks up the bag. 

"I can do that." Taeil protests. 

"It's fine." Donghyuck says, Taeil's belongings slung over his back. Taeil supposes that it's fitting -- Donghyuck owns him now anyways. 

It's quiet for the rest of the walk to Donghyuck's cabin at the edge of the woods. 

It isn't the largest cabin in the world, it's clearly designed for just one or two wolves, but it's nice all the same. It's much nicer than Taeil's long standing corner of the omega cabin. 

"This is me." Donghyuck says. "Or, us now." 

There's a tidy kitchen that doesn't look particularly used, a cozy living room with a sofa and fireplace, and a small dining room. 

And then Donghyuck leads him into the bedroom. Taeil's heart sinks. There's only one bed. He's expected to sleep here with his alpha. It's traditional style sleeping -- a mattress inlaid into the ground with heating underneath, piled high with pillows, blankets, and furs. Taeil would love it if he didn't have to share it with someone else. 

The whole cabin smells like Donghyuck, but the bedroom is especially saturated. It's a room that isn't for visitors or family. Once an alpha presents, their bedroom is only for them. And their mate.

In comparison, Taeil's room smelled like six other omegas.

"Do you need any help unpacking?" Donghyuck asks.

"No. I think I'm okay." Taeil says. "I don't have that much."

"I'll give you some space then." Donghyuck says and ducks out of the bedroom.

Taeil unpacks for the second time in as many days, and changes into his pyjamas quickly, careful to make sure that Donghyuck isn't coming into the room as he does so. He wonders idly if he could escape through the bedroom window and make a run for it. If he shifted, he could make it a long ways before anyone caught up to him. 

He sighs and leans against the windowsill. Donghyuck's cabin borders the woods, and he can see the moon peeking through the trees. It seems like such a beautiful place for Taeil to feel so miserable. 

"Can I come in?" Donghyuck asks, interrupting Taeil's thoughts. 

"Yes." Taeil answers, and Donghyuck pushes the bedroom door open. A fresh wave of his scent hits Taeil, and he forces himself to breath through his mouth, not his nose. 

Donghyuck looks him up and down and quirks a smile. 

"Am I amusing you?" Taeil asks. 

"Of course you sleep in matching pyjamas." Donghyuck replies. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Taeil asks with narrowed eyes. Donghyuck quickly raises his arms. 

"Nothing. It's just... unusual I suppose." 

"I'm unusual in many ways." Taeil says. 

"So I'm starting to see." Donghyuck says. 

Taeil realizes how tired he is. He's been on edge all evening, and he only just arrived in the new village the day before. His bones feel tired. He doesn't want to sleep in the same bed as Donghyuck. 

A burst of inspiration strikes him, and he starts to pull off blankets and pillows from the bed. There's more than enough for the two of them.

"What are you doing?" Donghyuck asks, eyeing him curiously.

"I'll sleep on the floor." Taeil says. 

"The bed is already on the floor." 

"Forgive me if I don't want to sleep beside a complete stranger." Taeil says. Donghyuck doesn't respond, so he takes it as permission to continue. 

Donghyuck doesn't seem to care about modesty. He strips down and changes for bed as if Taeil isn't there. 

He doesn't wear a shirt to bed. Taeil can't help but stare. Donghyuck doesn't have visible bulging muscles but the contours of strength are there. Objectively speaking, he could've done much worse for an alpha than Donghyuck. He's far too young, but he's handsome and strong. Some omegas don't even get that much.

Taeil burrows himself into his blanket nest. It's not quite as comfortable as the bed would be, but he's exhausted and he can't bring himself to care. 

"Goodnight." Donghyuck whispers. Taeil doesn't say it back. He doesn't owe this alpha anything. 

It takes a long time for him to fall asleep. Donghyuck falls asleep quickly, and he snores softly. Taeil is jealous. 

Donghyuck's scent sits heavy in the air, and even though it smells good, it's ultimately unfamiliar. Taeil has never spent much time around alphas, let alone sleeping in the same room as one. 

  
//

The next morning it takes a moment for Taeil to realize where he is. The floor of an alpha's bedroom. Unexplained shame fills him. He simultaneously wants to run as far away as he can, and hide in his bed forever. 

He doesn't understand why Donghyuck chose him. 

Birds chirp in the trees outside and Taeil's back hurts a little bit, but he still doesn't move. 

Donghyuck isn't in bed, and Taeil can hear sounds coming from the kitchen. 

Taeil puts a sweater over his pyjamas and quietly walks to the small kitchen. Donghyuck is puttering around. Something is cooking on the fire, and there are two bowls set out on the table. 

"Did I wake you?" Donghyuck asks. The sunlight is glinting on his hair. 

"No." Taeil says. 

"Tea?" Donghyuck asks. 

"No thank you." Taeil says. 

"You don't like tea?" Donghyuck asks, raising his eyebrow. 

It suddenly seems ridiculous that they're playing house without knowing anything about one another. 

"How old are you?" Taeil blurts out

"Nineteen moons." Donghyuck answers. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-five moons. I'm six moons older than you."

"It doesn't matter to me."

"It should."

"Why?"

"You're young. You should have some pretty young thing for a mate. Not me."

"Too late." Donghyuck says. "God, you're not a hag. You're just a bit older than me."

"I'm six moons older than you." Taeil says. "Do you want pups some day?" 

Donghyuck is silent for a moment. A different note in his scent smells stronger, and it takes Taeil a moment to realize that it's desire.

"I do." Donghyuck admits. Taeil looks down at his feet. 

"You need to pick someone else to be your mate." Taeil says. 

"You're being a little ridiculous." 

"I'm being pragmatic. I don't want to mate you, and I wouldn't make a good mate."

Donghyuck sighs, a sigh that makes him seem older than he really is. 

"Taeil. I chose you. I'm sticking by my decision." It sounds strange for Donghyuck to say his name. It seems too personal, which is ridiculous Taeil thinks, considering that they're to be mated. "I'll try my hardest to make it bearable for you."

"I..." Taeil starts to say and then tapers off. "You really choose me even though I'm older than you and I don't want to mate with you?"

"It's not really about me." Donghyuck replies. "It's about our packs." Taeil chews on his lower lip. He thinks about the fields, and the trees, and the larger house for the unmated omegas. "I'm making breakfast. You can eat and then decide later-"

"Just get it over with." Taeil says flatly and bares his neck. Donghyuck blinks. "Bite me. It's for the good of our packs." 

"You could sound a little less angry about it." Donghyuck says. Taeil holds back a sigh and bends his head over more. "We're in the middle of the kitchen."

"And?" Taeil asks. 

"You have to come in closer." Donghyuck says. "Sorry." 

Taeil moves in front of Donghyuck, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Donghyuck reaches a hand up on Taeil's shoulder, and the touch sends unwanted sparks of pleasure down his spine. 

"I'm sorry in advance." Donghyuck mutters. His scent is almost too much for Taeil to handle. 

And then he bites down at the juncture between Taeil's shoulder and neck. It hurts. It hurts far more than he expected. There's nothing remotely enjoyable about it. Blood roars in Taeil's ears. 

Donghyuck pulls away quickly, a trace of blood smeared on one side of his mouth. Taeil's blood. It shouldn't be attractive but Taeil can't stop himself from staring. 

"There we are." Donghyuck says. 

"I don't feel any different." Taeil says, frowning slightly. "Shouldn't I feel different?"

"I don't feel any different either." Donghyuck replies. "Maybe it takes a minute."

He reaches out and wipes Taeil's neck.

And then Taeil feels it. If before there were tingles, now there is a sense of satisfaction and an overwhelming desire to touch Donghyuck even more running through his whole body. 

"Oh." Taeil says. "Do you feel that too?" 

In response, Donghyuck pulls Taeil closer so that they're chest to chest. The sensation feels even stronger when they're touching like this. It seems harder to breathe now. Suddenly, Donghyuck's hand is on Taeil's back, and Taeil feels himself lean into the touch. He didn't mean to. And that's when it hits him. 

"Okay. That's enough." Taeil says, pushing roughly away from Donghyuck even if his body instinctively protests. Donghyuck looks disappointed but he doesn't protest. 

Taeil steps away until there are five paces between them. Donghyuck doesn't even look at him. 

"There." Taeil says, his neck stinging. "To our pack unity." 


	2. Chapter 2

  
Taeil feels unsettled. 

All morning he keeps touching the open bite mark, purposely making it sting against his fingers. He’s never thought of himself as a martyr, and honestly he still doesn’t. He’s mated to an unfamiliar alpha for the good of his pack, and he doesn’t regret it perse, but he doesn’t not regret it. 

He doesn’t know Donghyuck. Doesn’t know if he even likes Donghyuck beyond the instinctual attraction. Instincts alone don’t always make a happy mating. Taeil knows this well. His mother left him to join another pack when she met an alpha. An alpha that wasn’t Taeil’s father. His parents weren’t ever mated, and he was raised by his father, until his father fell ill and passed away. 

Taeil doesn’t know if mating would’ve made a difference for them. His father didn’t speak much of his mother, or of their relationship to Taeil, and Taeil parsed out that it wasn’t the happiest of times for his parents. His parents loved him, but they just didn’t love each other. 

A few hours pass and Taeil’s insides just get more and more twisted together. 

He just doesn’t feel right. His wolf doesn’t feel right, he realizes. 

So he wanders into the forest, strips down, and shifts for the first time in months. It should’ve been the first thing he did when they got to the village, but he got so caught up in everything that’s happened. 

It feels awkward but relieving -- like a muscle that hasn’t been used and is being stretched again. He was correct -- his wolf is happy in these pack lands. The land is even wealthier than he initially thought. 

His sense of smell is amplified as a wolf and he can detect hints of the earliest spring flowers, emerging roots and tubers, and the budding leaves on the trees. 

He can make out the scent of other animals too -- deer, rabbits, voles, and a few that he doesn’t recognize. They all seem just as happy as he is to be outside in the sunshine.

He’s never felt spring like this. Spring in the old village was more subtle -- they never had particularly harsh winters, which meant that spring was never a big deal. 

His pack will be happy here, even if Taeil isn't. 

The sunlight is dappled on the forest floor as he wanders further and further from the village. 

His mind settles as the hours pass. Except his instincts don’t.

The farther he goes, there's something in him that feels a tug back to Donghyuck. To his mate. Like a leash. 

As the sun reaches its peak in the sky, Taeil decides to turn around and go back. 

Immediately there’s a sense of relief, like his wolf was waiting for him to return. 

As he gets closer to Donghyuck's cabin, he can smell Donghyuck as soon as he's within a few kilometres. If Donghyuck's scent was intense when Taeil is a man, it's even worse when he's a wolf. Part of it is the mating process -- he knows that it's natural for mates to smell particularly appealing to one another. But another part of it is that Taeil has always thought that Donghyuck smelled good. Instinctively, he thinks that Donghyuck is very compatible with his wolf. And he doesn't know what to think about that. 

He can see Donghyuck peering out the window, but after Taeil ducks behind a bush to shift and re-dress, Donghyuck isn't there. 

  
//

  
They make an appearance together at dinner with the pack alphas that night.He can see everyone staring at his mating mark. 

Taeil sits awkwardly at Donghyuck's side. Donghyuck hardly talks to him and Taeil can't tell if he's relieved or disappointed

"Congratulations." His pack alpha says to Taeil halfway through the meal. 

"Thank you." Taeil says. 

"You were an unexpected choice, but I think that you will make your alpha very happy." 

“I’m trying my best.” Taeil replies uncomfortably. 

“That’s the only thing an omega can do for their mate.” The alpha says. Taeil doesn't understand why his words feel strangely like a threat. 

He averts his eyes and smiles, trying to appear meek and small. His strategy works, because the pack alpha leaves finally, and Taeil is left to himself. 

The worst part of all is that Donghyuck doesn’t notice Taeil’s discomfort. He just keeps up his easy conversation with his parents and some of the other alphas that Taeil doesn’t know.

His mark aches. 

Finally, he manages to sneak away for a moment to himself. It’s exhausting being ignored, Taeil thinks. 

//

He’s only just stepped away from the food tables when Yuta seeks him out and pulls him into a hug. 

"Your neck." Yuta says, his eyes wide. 

"I know."

"Taeil..." Yuta says. He looks sad. 

"I'm fine." Taeil says. 

"Did he force you to do anything?" Yuta asks. Taeil shakes his head. 

"The most we touched was him giving me the mating mark."

"If he ever does something you don't want..." Yuta tapers off. "I'll kill him. I really will. And then we'll run away together hmm?"

Taeil smiles at Yuta but it feels mostly fake. 

“I’ll hold you to it.”

“What did… What did it feel like?” Yuta asks.

“Painful.” Taeil answers honestly. “It still kind of hurts right now.” 

“I thought it was supposed to feel good?”

“I think that’s just a lie to not scare anybody.” Taeil says with a laugh. 

“Tell me if it gets unbearable.” Yuta says. “Please?” 

Taeil doesn’t say anything in response. 

//

  
Taeil and Donghyuck walk home from dinner together

"Was that your friend you were with before we left?" Donghyuck asks. 

"Hmm?" Taeil says. "Oh. Yeah. That's Yuta." 

"He's a beta?" 

"Yeah." 

“He looks nice.” Donghyuck says, and Taeil wonders absently if they only mated so Donghyuck could sleep with his friends. 

“He’s awful.” Taeil replies. 

“Hmm?” Donghyuck asks. “What do you mean?” 

“Never mind.” Taeil says. 

//

He changes quickly, careful to be fully covered before Donghyuck comes into the bedroom and then rearranges his spread of blankets and pillows. 

For the second night in a row Taeil curls up away from Donghyuck on the floor of an unfamiliar room. 

//

  
In the days afterwards, Donghyuck keeps looking at Taeil's neck, like he's checking to see if the mark is still there. 

"It doesn't just disappear." Taeil says when he catches Donghyuck looking at it for the fiftieth time. "I'm stuck with it." 

Donghyuck looks away, clearly embarrassed to have been caught staring. 

"I know that." Donghyuck says. “I’m just… looking at it.” 

Taeil supposes that it must be strange for Donghyuck too -- a stranger wearing the mark of his teeth. 

  
//

Slowly, Taeil has to figure out what his new life in the new pack is like.

Because he's moved up in rank from being unmated to being the mate of one of the pack alphas, his life is different. He isn't expected to do the same amount of work as an unmated omega, but he does it anyways. He's never been the type to sit around at home and wait for an alpha. 

There's always work to do in the fields -- weeding, picking crops, fixing up fences or wire lattices, and watering and tending to the smaller plants. On top of cooking and cleaning up at home, Taeil finds himself busy most days. And he’s grateful for it. 

His life would be empty if he didn’t at least have work. 

The spring bleeds into the summer and the days get longer. 

One bright spot is that Taeil starts to make more friends. He’d had a few in the old village, but there was always so much work to be done, and not enough wolves to do it. 

There are some omegas here closer to his age who are unmated -- Yoonoh and Taeyong, and Taeil finds himself grateful for their company. They work together on their chores, and slowly begin to make friends. 

Taeyong is one moon younger than him, and incredibly pretty, but quiet like Taeil. Yoonoh is younger, but also introverted and the three of them get along well. 

Taeil feels himself being slowly pulled out of his shell as he gets to know them. They find out that he likes to sing, and sometimes they’ll sing together: Taeyong’s low voice matching well with Yoonoh and Taeil’s higher tones. 

Most of the time, they’ll just talk. Taeil doesn’t need to talk about Donghyuck, or their relationship. He talks about his childhood, about his day, about his thoughts on this or that. 

And so Taeil’s loneliness disappears during the day, and appears in the evenings when he’s alone with Donghyuck, only to be chased away by the sun.

Because there’s no other way to describe it -- life with Donghyuck is uncomfortable. 

They don't spend much time together and Taeil can't figure out if he's grateful for this or not. Donghyuck has responsibilities that force him to be away from home for most of the day, and both of them are usually too tired to talk much when they’re both home. 

The only real difference now that they're mated is the feeling if they touch. 

And Taeil would have to actually see Donghyuck before that can happen.

They have completely different schedules because of their different responsibilities. Most of the time Taeil doesn’t even know where Donghyuck is. 

Each night Donghyuck sleeps on the bed, and Taeil pulls out blankets and pillows to sleep on the floor beside the bed.

Most of the time he falls asleep and wakes up alone, and the only evidence of Donghyuck's presence is his lingering scent. 

The bedroom smells like both of them -- Donghyuck's amber and citrus, and Taeil's own mixture of balsam, pepper, and honey.

But yet it's a foreign smell. Donghyuck and Taeil don’t ever touch so Taeil’s instincts don’t recognize the scent. The mark has healed, but Taeil doesn’t grow used to seeing it and Donghyuck has stopped trying to see if it’s still there.

If he's being honest, being mated is worse than he could've expected. They’re just two strangers who happen to sometimes live together.

//

Taeil is walking to one of the potato fields to meet up with Yoonoh for the day when he overhears two people talking. 

“I can’t believe he works in the fields. I wonder who he’s trying to fool.” A woman says. 

“I don’t know. Probably trying to show off that he isn’t totally useless.” Another woman says. Taeil gets a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

“I’m jealous. Donghyuck is handsome. I just don’t understand the two of them.” The first one says. Taeil chews on his bottom lip. 

"Right? He could've picked anyone. He's the pack alpha's son." Taeil hears her say.

He knows what she really meant to say — why did Donghyuck pick Taeil?

He wonders the same thing himself. He's six moons older than Donghyuck. Unmated for years after the typical mating occurs. Unconventional in many different respects. Even if it's just for the sake of their respective packs. 

A young alpha shouldn't be interested in any of those things. 

And Donghyuck had justified their mating on the grounds of pack unity, not on attraction or connection. 

For all Taeil knows, Donghyuck might think that he was the most pathetic option, and picked him for that reason.

He hates the notion. There's nothing pathetic about him. He’s not going to let anyone walk over him, even a powerful alpha. 

Taeil all but stomps to meet Yoonoh. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Yoonoh asks with a laugh when Taeil gets too aggressive and pulls out the potatoes more quickly than Yoonoh. 

“Bad day.” Taeil says. 

“Want to talk about it?” Yoonoh asks, leaning against his shovel. Taeil exhales loudly. The sun beats down on him. 

“No.” He says. 

They get back to work, digging up the potatoes and any weeds they find along the way.

“Hey Taeil?” Yoonoh says after they’ve worked their way down a row of potatoes. 

“Hmm?”

“If you ever need to talk about anything… Not even this but just anything in general… I know I’m younger than Taeyong and you but I’m still here.” Taeil is filled with a rush of gratitude. 

“Thank you.” He says. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be cross with you. I just let some silly comment get to me.” 

“Comment about you?” Yoonoh asks, wiping sweat off his forehead. Taeil nods. “What? Talking about how great you are?” 

“No.” Taeil says. “About how I don’t belong with Donghyuck.” 

“Ah.” Yoonoh says. His tone suggests that this isn’t the first time he’s heard the opinion. “Well you should most definitely ignore that.” 

“I know.” Taeil says. “It just hit me strangely.” 

“You’re a good person.” Yoonoh replies, mouth twisting into a frown. “A good friend. You shouldn’t forget that.” 

“I won’t.” Taeil says. “I just.. I don’t know.” 

“If it happens again, let me know who they are and I’ll beat them up.” Yoonoh declares, lifting up his shovel menacingly. Or, as menacingly as Yoonoh can be, which isn’t particularly scary. 

“I will.” Taeil says with a laugh. 

//

One evening Taeil is cleaning up his dinner when Donghyuck comes home with two alphas that Taeil doesn't recognize. 

He can smell them first, because they don’t smell nearly as good as Donghyuck’s scent. 

Taeil just barely has time to finish drying the last of the dishes when voices fill Donghyuck’s house, and there are strangers in the kitchen. 

"So this is him." One of them says. He doesn't seem particularly confused by Donghyuck's choice of mate -- he actually seems intrigued. 

Taeil is immediately nervous. They're younger than him, but then again so is Donghyuck, and that resulted in a forced mating. 

Donghyuck picks up on Taeil's nervousness and he adjusts where he's standing so that he's standing between Taeil and the alphas. 

"Taeil, this is Jaemin and Jeno. Jaemin, Jeno, this is Taeil." Donghyuck says. Taeil can't figure out who is who. 

"Hello." Taeil greets politely. 

"He's just like you said." One of them says. 

"No. He's cuter." The other one says. 

"I am older than you." Taeil says and they both laugh. 

"Oh he's perfect Hyuck." The first one says. "I like you." He says to Taeil.

"Er. Thank you." Taeil replies awkwardly. He can smell his own anxiety. Donghyuck reaches out and lets his hand graze Taeil's and the effect is immediate. He's calmed and Donghyuck knows it. Donghyuck is comforting him in his own small way. 

"We'll get out of your way." Donghyuck says, and all but pushes his friends into the small living room. 

Taeil takes a moment to make himself some hot water with lemon. 

He can hear Donghyuck and his friends’ conversation and it feels foreign. Unsettling.

Because Donghyuck is different around his friends. He's brighter, more childlike than he is with Taeil. For a moment, Taeil even forgets that Donghyuck is an alpha. His friends don't hesitate to rib him about just about everything, and Donghyuck just laughs and laughs. 

Taeil finishes his drink, and then leaves the house quietly, going to wander along the river. 

//

When he gets back, just Donghyuck is home. 

"I'm sorry. I should've let you know that Jaemin and Jeno were coming over." Donghyuck says. 

"It's okay. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t bring your friends over.” Taeil replies. He doesn’t really understand why Donghyuck is apologizing. 

“It’s your home too. It was rude of me to bring unfamiliar alphas into the place you live.”

Taeil pauses. He doesn’t think of the house as his, it’s still Donghyuck’s house. Taeil is just a guest. 

“It’s fine.” He says. 

“I don’t want you to be frightened.” Donghyuck says. 

“I think it would take more than a few just presented omegas to frighten me.” Taeil says, and he means it as a joke but it comes out of his mouth more bitterly. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.  
"They were excited to meet you." Donghyuck says. Taeil is surprised that they know who he is. He wonders what Donghyuck talks about when he mentions his mate. “You can always have your friends over if you’d like.” 

“I’ll think about it.” Taeil lies. 

//

He’s out digging up weeds in the crops when several wolves walk through the field. 

The first wolf is snow white and tiny. Another is grey with white paws and an average size. The last one is sandy brown, with bright yellow hazel eyes. 

Intuitively Taeil knows that the third wolf is Donghyuck and he can’t help but stare. Donghyuck is a large wolf, which seems unexpected for his height as a human.

Taeil can’t help but think that their wolves would look good together -- Donghyuck’s sandy brown fur next to Taeil’s deep, cool brown fur. 

Donghyuck looks at him. Taeil looks back. The other two wolves keep walking, but slowly, Donghyuck pads over to Taeil. He’s almost hesitant, but Taeil doesn’t move. 

Donghyuck sniffs at Taeil’s arm and Taeil lifts it up. Donghyuck cocks his head to the side. 

Taeil reaches out and pats Donghyuck's neck, where he knows all wolves like to be patted. The fur is soft under Donghyuck's muzzle. 

Donghyuck lets out a happy sigh, and lifts his head to allow Taeil easier access. 

He can't help but wonder if things would just be easier if Donghyuck were always a wolf. If they never had to talk. 

“I’ll see you at home later.” Taeil mutters and turns back to his work. When he looks up again, Donghyuck is gone.

//

  
"You got a good alpha." Taeyong says one day as they’re picking tomatoes. Taeil stills, wondering if Yoonoh spoke to him. “I know you don’t talk about him much, but you’re lucky. Donghyuck is a good man.” 

“He’s just barely a man.” Taeil says. “He’s six moons younger than me.” 

“Even so.” Taeyong says. He almost seems wistful as he says it. 

“Are you courting anyone right now?” Taeil asks, eager to change the topic of conversation. 

“No.” Taeyong answers. “Not for a few years.” 

“But you’re so pretty?” Taeil blurts out and Taeyong looks shocked for a moment before he bursts into laughter. 

“Thank you. I was being courted by an alpha, but then he was killed in a hunt.”

“Oh.” Taeil says, face dropping. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“It’s been a few moons.” Taeyong says. “I miss her but... At this point I’m getting old. The market is getting smaller and smaller.” 

“That’s what I thought, and look where it got me.” Taeil says drily. Taeyong laughs again. 

“We can’t all be so lucky as you. You snagged the highest ranking single alpha in the pack.”

“I didn’t snag him.” Taeil grumbles. “He snagged me.”

“Yes yes.” Taeyong says, patting Taeil’s arm. “But either way. Not every single omega can hope for such a good match.” 

It seems so surreal, Taeil thinks, to hear about his mating as a good match. He isn’t even sure that Taeyong has ever seen Taeil and Donghyuck interact.

“You’ll find someone. I know it.” Taeil says. “You’re kind and considerate and beautiful.” 

“Hmm. Maybe. Maybe I’ll stay unmated forever.”

“That could work out just fine.” Taeil says, staring down at his hands. 

Taeyong bumps his shoulder against Taeil’s. 

“Come on, we’re being depressing.” Taeyong says. “Sing for me to make the time pass by quicker.”

//

At the midsummer feast Taeil sees Donghyuck sitting next to a girl -- an omega he thinks. Taeil is sitting with Yuta and Yoonoh, who get along well, and are ignoring the way Taeil’s eyes keep flickering to look at his mate. 

He can’t be sure but it looks like Donghyuck is attracted to her. The subtle smiles, the easy touches. 

Taeil has never seen Donghyuck act like that around him, that's for sure. 

He forces himself to look away and focus back on his friends. 

//

Time passes. Before Taeil knows it, summer is at its peak. He takes to going for long walks along the river each afternoon after work to waste time before going back to an empty house. 

One afternoon he wanders in a different direction, closer to Donghyuck’s house. The water levels are low this late in the summer, so he walks over the river rocks, worn smooth from years of being submerged until he reaches the water. 

He crouches down and splashes his face with water, willing his stupid sadness to go away. He needs to get a hold of his feelings. So what if he’ll never love his mate? That doesn’t mean that he can’t have valuable friendships or a satisfying life. 

Taeil looks out at the meandering river -- slow and lazy. He wonders absently what would happen if he just ran downstream. If Donghyuck would even look for him. 

He’s just about to stand up when he gets a whiff of Donghyuck’s scent, and then suddenly Donghyuck is beside him. Donghyuck is warm, like all alphas are, and the heat radiates to Taeil's side

"Hello." Donghyuck says. 

"Hello." Taeil says in return. 

There's an awkward pause. 

“Your friend Yuta said that I could find you here.” 

“I just wanted to go for a walk.” 

“You don’t need to tell me where you are constantly.” Donghyuck says. “You’re your own person.” 

“Good to know.” Taeil says, standing up so he isn’t awkwardly crouched while Donghyuck stands. 

“Is everything alright?” Donghyuck asks. 

“Yes.” Taeil says. 

“You’ve been pretty quiet lately.” 

“I’m usually quiet.” 

“You just don’t talk much, but I see you talking to your friends.”

“You don’t know me very well.” Taeil says, stretching his arms forwards. 

“I’m trying! I’m just busy.” 

“Busy.” Taeil says. 

“It’s not like you’ve even tried to get to know me either.” Donghyuck says petulantly. It’s technically the truth but Taeil still feels his hackles rise anyways. 

“Oh forgive me.” Taeil says. “You’re never even home for me to try to get to know you.” 

“I’m the pack alpha’s son. I have responsibilities.” Donghyuck replies.

And maybe it’s Taeil’s self-pity, or maybe it’s his resentment but he finds himself steeling his shoulders and opening his mouth. 

"Then why did you even choose me as a mate?" Taeil asks. 

"Because I did." Donghyuck snaps, eyes flashing dark. Taeil shies away instinctively. Donghyuck's scent grows, and Taeil feels himself shrink.

“That’s not a reason.” 

“If I say it’s a reason, it’s a reason. I’m the alpha.” Donghyuck says, and turns dramatically on his heel. 

“That’s the worst reason I’ve ever heard you absolute asshole.” Taeil says. 

“I’m your mate anyways.” Donghyuck snaps. 

//

  
Donghyuck isn’t home when Taeil makes it back for dinner. 

Taeil cooks dinner. He eats. He cleans up. Night falls. Donghyuck isn’t home. 

He sits on the sofa into the night, not purposely waiting for Donghyuck but not not waiting either. 

Taeil doesn’t realize that he’s fallen asleep until he’s woken up by the sensation of being lifted. He struggles for a moment before he picks up on Donghyuck’s scent enveloping him. 

"Donghyuck?" He asks dazedly, blinking.

"You're lighter than you look." Donghyuck says. 

"Did you just say that I look fat?" Taeil mumbles. 

"No. You just make yourself look larger than you are."

Donghyuck arranges the blankets and pillows and then places Taeil carefully down on them.

"What are you doing?" 

"Getting you ready for bed." Donghyuck says. 

“Oh.” Taeil says, lifting the blanket on top of himself. 

"You didn't need to wait up for me."

"I wasn't." He lies, and he can see in Donghyuck's face that he sees right through the lie.

"I'm sorry." Donghyuck says, instead of calling out Taeil. "I shouldn't have gotten angry with you."

"I shouldn't have pushed the topic." Taeil says. 

"No you... You're allowed to ask. We don't exactly have a conventional relationship." Donghyuck replies. 

"We don't really have a relationship at all." Taeil mutters. Donghyuck doesn’t say anything. 

  
//

A few days later, Taeil is asked to help out with the herb cultivation. Since he doesn’t have a set work task in the pack, he goes. 

The pack has a small patch in the forest to grow herbs and small plants, fenced away so the deer can’t get in, covered by glades of trees. 

It’s peaceful, Taeil thinks, as he waits to see who will tell him what to do.

“Are you the help?” He hears from behind him, and turns to see a beautiful woman. She’s shorter than him, with full lips and sharp eyes. A beta. 

Her scent isn’t as dazzling as Donghyuck’s to Taeil’s nose, but it’s very pleasant all the same -- rose, black tea, and vanilla. It suits her, Taeil thinks. 

“That’s me.” Taeil says. 

"Hello." She says. 

"Hello." Taeil says back. 

“Did you move here with the new pack?”

“I did.” Taeil says. “I’m Taeil.” He adds. 

“Ah.” She says. “I’m Joohyun.” 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Taeil says. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” 

She shows him how to trim off the useful pieces of herbs so as to not harm the whole plant, and teaches him what herbs are used for medicine and for cooking. 

Taeil learns a lot. He’s never done any kind of work like this before. 

“You’re a natural.” Joohyun says with a smile at the end of the day. “You should come help me more often.” 

“Okay.” Taeil says, and feels his heart almost flutter. 

//

That evening he’s doing the dishes and thinking about his day with Joohyun. 

"Are you due for a heat soon?" Donghyuck asks suddenly. Taeil drops the bowl he's washing. 

"Um." Taeil starts to say. "That's not really any of your business." 

"We're mated. I just wanted to know for reference." 

"Reference." Taeil says flatly. 

"I won't touch you." Donghyuck says, and it almost sounds like he's disgusted by the idea. Taeil cringes internally. Of course Donghyuck wouldn't want to help him with his heat. That would be preposterous. 

“I have an irregular cycle.” Taeil says. “I’ll keep you updated so you can know when to leave me alone.” He adds ferociously. 

Donghyuck’s gaze is dark. He’s angry, Taeil realizes. He feels strangely pleased to have made Donghyuck angry. 

“It’s just that you’re older and-”

“Ah right.” Taeil says. “I’m older and my body is shutting down so you need to know when I’ll just go into heat and die.” 

“No that’s not-” 

“I don’t really want to hear this.” Taeil cuts off. “I’m not just my body.” 

“I didn’t-” 

“Can you just maybe not say anything else?” Taeil asks. 

Donghyuck looks like he wants to say something else, but Taeil glares at him until Donghyuck looks away. 

  
//

  
It’s a coincidence that Taeil runs into Joohyun again a few days later. He’s foraging for berries for Yoonoh, when he all but tramples on her crouched on the ground. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” He says, reaching a hand down to help Joohyun stand up. 

“No. I should’ve paid more attention to what’s around me.” She says, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“What are you doing? Collecting herbs?” 

“Medicinal moss.” She says. “It grows close to the ground.” 

“Ah.” Taeil says. 

“What are you out here doing?” 

“Finding berries for someone.” 

“For someone hmm?” Joohyun asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Not like that!” Taeil protests immediately. “No. No. For my friend.” 

“Ah.” She says. “Good to know. I guess… Do you mind if I join you?” 

“Feel free.” Taeil says, his ears turning red. 

Joohyun is clearly interested in him. Taeil can feel her eyes on him as they wander through the dense brush, looking for berries and moss. 

She asks him about how he’s adjusting to life in the new pack, what his usual work tasks are, what he likes to eat. She’s easy to talk to -- far easier than Donghyuck, Taeil notes. 

He’s assuming that she knows that he’s mated, but his mark is hidden by the shirt he’s wearing so in a way, he can pretend that it isn’t there. That he’s an unmated omega with an interested, beautiful beta. That things are simpler than they really are.

//

Taeil finds Yoonoh at the end of the day. He feels good. He feels relaxed. 

“These are for you.” He says, and gives Yoonoh the basket of berries. 

“You smell sweeter than usual.” Yoonoh replies as he takes the berries, eyeing Taeil weirdly. 

“I don’t think I’m in pre-heat.” Taeil says. 

“No you smell… interested.” Yoonoh says with a smile. “Like you want to smell appealing. And I know that it isn’t me you’re casting that scent out for.”

Then he realizes -- he was thinking about Joohyun when Donghyuck asked if he was close to heat, and he’s seeing Yoonoh after being with Joohyun. After he was flirting with Joohyun. 

Joohyun is the common element between the two instances. 

Taeil hadn’t consciously realized that his scent changed around her, or even when he was just thinking about her. He doesn’t often feel attracted to someone, beyond at the surface level like he does with Donghyuck. 

And there’s the matter of Donghyuck. Taeil isn’t so shameless as to not feel just a bit guilty, even if he and Donghyuck aren’t lovers. 

He flushes red. 

“Oops.” He says. 

//

  
“I have to go away for a few nights on a scouting trip.” Donghyuck says. 

“Oh. Alright.” Taeil replies. 

“Will you be alright by yourself?” 

“I managed for many moons by myself. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Taeil responds. 

“You should feel free to go to Jaemin or Jeno if you need anything while I’m gone.” 

“I have my own friends I can go to.” 

“You don’t have any alpha friends though.”

“I don’t need an alpha around me at all times.” Taeil says. “Yuta is a beta-”

“I’m just letting you know.” Donghyuck interrupts. “In case something happens.” 

“In case I go into freak heat and need an alpha to knot me through it? So you’re telling me to go to your baby alpha friends?” 

Donghyuck growls. Taeil takes a step backwards. 

It’s the closest that Donghyuck has come to being outright aggressive, and Taeil isn’t impressed. 

“Excuse me?” Taeil asks. Donghyuck glares at him, and then turns and leaves. 

He doesn’t bother saying goodbye to Taeil before he leaves. 

//

Taeil had thought that it would be a relief to have Donghyuck gone for even a few days, and in a sense it is, but in another, it isn’t.

Even if he’s happy to be free of his grouchy alpha, there's that same insistent tugging in his chest that comes with being separated from Donghyuck. 

His body recognizes that his mate is gone, and even if his mind knows that their mating isn't real, his omega isn't on the same page. 

It ruins Taeil’s ability to focus. He just sadistically hopes that Donghyuck is experiencing the same feeling. 

The distance also makes it difficult for Taeil to sleep. He tosses and turns even more than usual -- just barely getting a wink of sleep before the sun rises and he has to get up and start his day. The floor digs into his back even more than usual, and he just can’t get comfortable. 

On the third night, he decides to sleep in Donghyuck’s bed. Perhaps it’s instincts, or perhaps it’s just the sleep deprivation but he finds himself climbing into the bed. 

The blankets smell more intensely like Donghyuck, and Taeil finds himself subconsciously calmed by the scent, even if he isn’t entirely comfortable knowing that Donghyuck’s scent has that effect on him. 

But he sleeps anyway. 

//

  
He wakes up before dawn to the sound of chirping birds. He feels unusually rested and comfortable. His body feels satisfied, despite the fact that he hasn’t gotten enough sleep. 

He rolls over and sees why. Donghyuck is home, and he's fast asleep beside Taeil. 

They're not touching but they're close enough that Taeil can feel the heat coming off of Donghyuck. 

Taeil is struck by the fact that Donghyuck looks absolutely exhausted, even though he's fast asleep. He looks young too, and Taeil is reminded again of how absurd their mating is. He can’t believe he’s mated to such a young alpha. 

Guilt and discomfort overwhelm him. He shouldn’t be sleeping with Donghyuck. Neither of them want it. 

So he crawls out of bed and curls up into his nest beside the bed, ignoring his body’s protest at the cold. 

//

Donghyuck is gone when Taeil wakes up again.

Their scents are mingled on him, and the effect is grounding and calming. His instincts like it, but his mind doesn’t.

He gets up and scrubs himself off in the river until he can only smell his own scent.

//

“You’re back early.” He says when Donghyuck comes home that evening. 

“We finished our scouting earlier than we expected.” Donghyuck says. “So we thought we’d come home early.” 

“Oh.” Taeil says.

Neither of them say anything about sleeping in the same bed. 

  
//

Taeil makes dinner alone that evening. He’s growing used to a solitary life. 

Donghyuck comes home just as Taeil is starting to eat. 

“You shouldn’t eat so quickly.” Donghyuck says as he sets aside a pile of textiles in the living room. 

"Don't tell me what to do." Taeil replies, and shovels another spoonful of his dinner into his mouth.

"I'm your alpha." Donghyuck says bitterly. “I’m allowed to.”

Taeil stills. 

"What did you just say?" He asks, putting his spoon down on the table. Rage is overwhelming his body. 

“I said I’m your alpha.” Donghyuck repeats, staring right at Taeil. 

"You may be an alpha, and we may be mated but you are not my alpha." Taeil says coldly. 

“Except I am.” Donghyuck says. 

"I'm going for a walk." Taeil says. 

“Taeil-” He hears but he’s already out of the house.

He lets the front door slam shut behind him.

//

He doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just knows that he isn’t going anywhere near Donghyuck. 

“Taeil!” He hears.

Tears are welling up. 

“Taeil.” He hears again. 

He looks around and sees Joohyun coming toward him. 

“Taeil?” She asks. “I thought it was you. Oh. Taeil. What’s wrong?” She asks, her face dropping. 

“Nothing.” He says, but tears are already falling. 

Joohyun sweeps him into a tight hug and Taeil lets himself cry in her arms. She’s remarkably strong for her small size, and she holds him like he’s falling apart. Maybe he is. 

Slowly, he comes back to himself. Joohyun pats his back again, and pulls away. 

She’s staring at his neck. At his mating mark. 

"You have an alpha." She says. 

"He doesn't... It isn't a love match." Taeil says. Joohyun's eyes flash. 

"He doesn't care for you?" She asks. Taeil shakes his head. Donghyuck doesn't know anything. Donghyuck probably doesn't even care. Donghyuck might even be sleeping with other people without Taeil knowing. 

"He doesn't even know where I am right now."

“Oh.” She says and her hand brushes his. Taeil is struck by the urge to reach out and grab it. “Did he make you cry?” She asks. 

“No.” He lies. Joohyun bites her lip. 

“Taeil… I hope you know that you don’t need to lie to me.” She says, staring at him with intensity in her eyes. 

Joohyun really is gorgeous -- one of the most beautiful people in the pack. But beyond that Taeil likes her, likes spending time with her. She doesn't care about what anyone thinks about her. She pays attention to Taeil, wants to know who he really is. She isn’t driven by instincts, but by interest.

She's everything Donghyuck isn't. 

So maybe Taeil should allow himself to be happy with her, even in a small way.

“Do you usually have afternoons off?” He asks instead of responding. 

“Yes.” She answers. “If I’m not on laundry duty to fetch the dried linens.”

“Good to know.” He says. 

“Why? You want to see me again?” Joohyun asks, the beginnings of a smile starting to spread. 

“If you’re free.” Taeil says, his heart hovering in his throat. 

“I can make the time.” Joohyun replies. They both smile at each other, and Taeil feels lighter than he has in days. 

//

  
Donghyuck is sitting at the dining room table when Taeil gets home, mug of tea in front of him. 

Taeil doesn’t say anything, just begins to clean up the mess he made from cooking his dinner earlier.

He’s halfway through cleaning when Donghyuck finally speaks. 

"I need to apologize." Donghyuck says. 

"Yes. You do." Taeil says. 

"I shouldn't have been presumptuous. I- I’m young, and I don’t know everything. I keep forgetting that you're older than me and I shouldn't do that. I need to be more respectful and considerate of you. You’re my mate. You're my equal in this partnership. Status has nothing to do with it. I'm not better than you just because I'm an alpha. I'm sorry."

“Okay.” Taeil says. He’s surprised at Donghyuck’s apology. He didn’t expect it. 

“I’m sorry. I won’t speak to you like that in the future.” 

“Apology accepted. And I’m sorry for lashing out at you.” Taeil blurts out. If Donghyuck is going to bare his mistakes, then so is he. “I shouldn’t have been so quick to anger and provoke you into a fight. It wasn't right.” 

“I accept your apology.” Donghyuck replies. 

“Alright.” Taeil says, feeling himself flush and going back to cleaning.

“So are we… Are we okay?” Donghyuck asks. He sounds almost hesitant. 

“I’m okay. Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay.” Donghyuck replies. 

They’re both quiet for a moment.

“I got you something.” Donghyuck says then. “It’s in the bedroom.” 

“You didn’t need to.” Taeil replies, but Donghyuck looks determined. 

After eating his dinner while Donghyuck drinks his tea, Taeil makes his way to the bedroom. There's a small bedroll on the ground where Taeil usually sleeps, clearly for him to sleep on. 

"What's this?" He asks Donghyuck, who trails behind him. 

"It's more comfortable than just a blanket on the hardwood." Donghyuck says. “I just thought…” 

Taeil could protest. He could decline. But he can see that it's clearly Donghyuck's way of reaching out to make amends. 

"It’s nice. Thank you. I appreciate it. I'll make it up to you." He forces himself to say. 

"Okay." Donghyuck replies. 

It's possibly their smoothest interaction yet, Taeil realizes, as uncomfortable as it feels to accept a gift from Donghyuck. 

//

That night they get ready for bed in silence, Donghyuck waiting for Taeil to change first before coming into the bedroom himself. 

Taeil wonders if this is going to be the rest of his life -- sleeping in the same room with a stranger for a mate. 

"Goodnight Taeil." Donghyuck says quietly. 

He isn’t sure if it’s their resolution, the prospect of seeing Joohyun, or the new bedroll but for the first time since he arrived, Taeil falls asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh. So. Ye. 
> 
> Song for this chapter if you're interested: 
> 
> Nothing Feels Natural -- Priests


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter! I’m so thankful for all the love on this fic -- I really thought that no one would read it.
> 
> So... Bone apple tea!
> 
> Also, I'm looking for a beta reader so if you don't mind reading painful writing... Let me know?

Taeil wakes up the next morning and stretches out. For the first time, his muscles don’t ache and he feels genuinely well-rested. He has to admit that the mattress is far more comfortable than the floor. 

Donghyuck is already gone, like he usually is, but it doesn’t make Taeil feel alone. It feels good that they made up. It feels like even if they don’t get along, that they can muddle through the worst of their arguments. 

If he’s being honest, he didn’t expect Donghyuck to react with maturity like he did. In many ways Donghyuck still acts like the baby alpha he is -- freshly presented, full of hormones, and lacking the control that comes with age. 

Taeil makes his breakfast and looks out at the forest. The leaves are starting to change colour. 

Autumn is upon the pack. There’s lots of work to be done to prepare for the winter. The remaining crops need to be harvested before the first freeze or food will be a stretch over the winter. Taeil isn’t looking forward to it. He’s never had to deal with a cold winter before. He’s only seen snow a few rare times when they got storms in their area. 

He even doesn’t have the proper clothes for winter, he realizes, and wraps his thin sweater more tightly around him.

//

He goes to find Joohyun in the afternoon that day, enjoying the early autumn sun on his face. 

Joohyun sees him and smiles. Taeil smiles back. 

“Hello.” He says. 

“Hello.” She says back. “Want to give me a hand?” 

So Taeil finds himself lifting bags of soil for the herb garden, sweating despite the relatively cool weather.

“You’re handsome like this.” Joohyun says. 

“Says the most beautiful woman in this pack.” Taeil replies. “Also I have dirt on my forehead.”

“Wow.” She says. “That was so greasy it was smooth.”

Taeil laughs. There’s an unmistakable flush on Joohyun’s face.

And then Joohyun reaches out and smears the dirt on his cheek. 

It’s interesting -- her touch doesn’t make Taeil feel the same way as when Donghyuck touches him. His cheek feels warm, but there isn’t that same draw of attraction that happens when Donghyuck touches him. 

He sticks his tongue out at her. 

//

A few weeks later, Taeil finishes work early for the day, so he gets to go home early. 

He takes a shortcut through the woods back to Donghyuck’s cabin

“How’s your hyung?” A familiar voice asks.

“Fine.” It’s Donghyuck. Taeil halts. It’s his second time eavesdropping, and he knows that he shouldn’t stay and listen but he does anyway. 

“What does fine mean?” The voice asks. Taeil realizes that Donghyuck is talking to one of his alpha friends. 

“It means fine.” 

“You don’t smell very happy these days.” 

“I’m fine.” Donghyuck says. There’s a laugh. 

“You don’t need to lie. Everyone can see the tension between the two of you.” 

"He doesn't trust me." Taeil hears Donghyuck say, which is the last thing he expects Donghyuck to say. “It’s so obvious and I hate it.” 

“Well… You told Jeno that you were having some arguments.” Someone sighs, Taeil assumes it’s Donghyuck. 

“Of course he told you.” Donghyuck says. “Why would anything ever be a secret between you two?” 

“We’re worried about you. You chose an older mate and-”

“Watch how you finish that sentence.” Donghyuck interrupts fiercely. Taeil’s mouth falls open. “He’s my mate. You know why I chose him. It doesn’t matter that he’s older than me.” 

“I just mean that he views the relationship differently than you. He’s probably courted before. He knows how he ought to be treated.” Donghyuck makes a noise of defeat. 

“I don’t even want to think about that. I just want us to get along. But first he needs to trust me.” Donghyuck says. 

Taeil doesn’t know if he can listen to the rest of their conversation, but it’s different than when he was overhearing those people talking badly about him. 

If it was a surprise to have Donghyuck tell his friend that Taeil doesn’t trust him, it was even more of a surprise to have Donghyuck defend Taeil. 

Taeil thinks about it, and he doesn’t not trust Donghyuck, but he doesn’t exactly trust Donghyuck either. 

Things changed when they both apologized to each other. They both showed that they could make an effort. 

He wonders what he should do. Donghyuck didn’t say those things to him -- Taeil overheard him saying those things to a friend. Technically, he has no obligation to respond. But he feels a little weird to just pretend that he hadn’t heard anything. Especially to pretend that he hadn’t heard Donghyuck defend him. 

//

“There’s dinner in the kitchen if you want.” Taeil says when Donghyuck gets home that night. He’d spent some extra time preparing enough food for the two of them. Donghyuck gives him a confused look. Taeil has never cooked for the two of them. “The recipe is easier to make for two. And you eat.” He says, and wants to wince at his awkwardness. 

“Oh. I see.” Donghyuck says. “Thank you.”

Taeil leaves while Donghyuck eats. They don’t ever eat together. It’s uncomfortable. But he figures that maybe this is a start. 

//

“You’re a good cook.” Donghyuck says before bed. “Goodnight Taeil.” 

Taeil doesn’t respond, but the atmosphere between them doesn’t feel awkward despite the end of their conversation. 

//

Taeil gets sick somehow. He doesn't remember the last time he had a cold. Wolves don't often get sick, and Taeil’s always been pretty healthy. 

Which probably explains why it catches him off-guard. The cold starts off subtly -- he’s a little more rundown than usual for a few days. And then he gets a runny nose. 

“Is something wrong? You smell a little off.” Donghyuck says. He’s still home when Taeil wakes up, which is an unusual occurrence. 

“I think I’m coming down with a cold.” Taeil replies, and promptly sneezes. Donghyuck wrinkles his nose. 

“Don’t get me sick.” He says. 

“Don’t get too close to me then.” Taeil replies. 

“Do you know where the healer is?” Donghyuck asks. 

“It’s a cold. I’m not dying.” Taeil replies. 

“I know, but I’m going to be out all day. Just in case you start feeling worse it would be a good idea to know.” 

Taeil blinks. He hadn’t even thought of that.

“Okay. No. I don’t think I know where it is.” He says.

So Donghyuck tells Taeil how to get there from his cabin. 

“At least now you know where it is, which means that if you feel like you’re dying, you know where to go.” Donghyuck says. 

“Could you maybe be a little less morbid?” Taeil asks, and coughs on Donghyuck’s arm. 

“No.” Donghyuck says, and wipes his arm on Taeil’s arm.

//

Taeil is dozing in and out of sleep when Donghyuck comes home that night. He didn’t have the energy to cook all day, and he’s hardly moved from his spot on the sofa. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Donghyuck asks. 

“No.” Taeil answers, peeking out from under the blankets.

There’s a cool hand suddenly pressed to Taeil’s forehead. 

“You’re warm.” Donghyuck says. “I think you have a fever.”

“Probably.” Taeil mumbles. 

Donghyuck’s hand rests on Taeil’s cheek for a second before he pulls it away. The touch feels good on Taeil’s feverish skin. 

“I’m going to make you something to get rid of the fever okay?” Taeil nods. “Have you eaten anything?” 

“No.” 

Donghyuck pulls an unimpressed face at Taeil’s response. 

“I’ll be back.” He says, almost threateningly. 

Taeil dozes off for a moment, and suddenly Donghyuck is back with a tray of things -- porridge, a mug of something, and a small bowl of dark brown liquid. 

“My mom’s famous sickness cure.” He pronounces and puts the unknown liquid in front of Taeil. 

Taeil reaches out and takes a sip. 

“This tastes awful.” Taeil splutters. “Is it even safe to eat?”

“Stop being a baby.” Donghyuck says. 

“You’re the baby.” Taeil retorts, and forces himself to take another sip, this one just as foul as the first. “Blegh.”

“It’s not that bad.” Donghyuck says and Taeil frowns weakly at him. "You don’t like tea so I made you hot lemon water with honey for your throat." Donghyuck says. 

“Oh. Thank you.” Taeil says. He’s surprised that Donghyuck remembered. 

He sips his tea carefully after finishing the horrible medicine, and then Donghyuck makes sure that Taeil finishes all of the tea and the porridge too.

“I know how to take care of myself.” He says. 

“Mhmm.” Donghyuck replies. “Most definitely.” 

Donghyuck even helps Taeil get into bed, which seems like overkill, but Taeil accepts the help anyways. Perhaps it isn’t the worst thing in the world to have Donghyuck fuss over him.

//

Taeil tosses and turns in bed though. He can’t sleep. He can hear Donghyuck is awake too -- his breathing hasn’t slowed like it does when he’s sleeping.

“I know you’re awake.” Donghyuck says. “I think the next house over could hear you tossing and turning.”

“I don’t feel good. My body aches and I can’t get comfortable.” Taeil replies. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Er, if we scent each other you’ll feel better.” Donghyuck says. Taeil looks over at him, his face illuminated in the moonlight.

“What?”

“We don’t have to! Of course. I just… My parents do it when they get sick and it works.”

“Scenting makes you feel better?”

“If you’re mated, yes.” Donghyuck says. Taeil can hear him swallow. He must be nervous, Taeil realizes, but he has no idea why.

Taeil would be out of his mind to say yes. But he’s also curious, and achy, and maybe he is a little out of his mind. 

“We can try.” He says, his throat scratchy. He’s never scented anyone before. 

“Okay, uh, do you want to do it standing up? Sitting down?” Donghyuck asks, and then flushes as he realizes what he’s just said.

“I’m too tired to stand up.” Taeil admits. 

“Well. Do you want me to come over there or?” 

“I’ll come next to you.” Taeil says. He feels uncomfortable at the idea of Donghyuck scenting where he sleeps. 

He crawls out of his sleeping spot, and climbs onto the bed beside Donghyuck, while Donghyuck sits up. 

They’re both stilted, unsure how to position themselves. 

Donghyuck leans in a bit, and then Taeil leans in a bit, and then they both awkwardly lean in more. 

Taeil has to hold himself at a strange angle to maintain an appropriate amount of distance between the two of them.

Donghyuck’s hands come to Taeil’s lower back. 

“What are you doing?” Taeil asks. 

“Neither of us are comfortable.” Donghyuck answers, and yanks Taeil closer. 

Taeil is now sitting right in front of Donghyuck. If he were any closer, he’d be sprawled in Donghyuck’s lap. 

“There. Much better.” Donghyuck says, and then he leans into Taeil’s neck. 

Taeil’s heart almost flutters. Almost. 

Donghyuck’s scent is heady, even through Taeil’s clogged nose. 

“You’re allowed to scent me back.” Donghyuck says, and Taeil blinks dazedly. Right, they’re supposed to be scenting one another. 

So cautiously, he lowers his nose to Donghyuck’s neck. 

There’s an immediate reaction in his body -- his congestion is still there, but his pain is gone, and he doesn’t feel as warm. Instead, he feels pleasantly sleepy and relaxed. 

He has no idea how long they sit there, just breathing in each other's scents and letting their scents cover one another. It could have been just a minute, or it could have been hours. 

"You should take the bed tonight. I'll sleep on the couch. You need the rest." Donghyuck says, and pulls away. His eyes look a bit funny. 

“I’m fine.” Taeil says, but he’s completely congested so his voice sounds all weird. 

“Mhmm. Totally fine.” Donghyuck says. “Take the bed.”

"Thank you Donghyuck." Taeil says. Donghyuck gives him another look, and this one Taeil can’t understand. 

"No problem. Goodnight Taeil." Donghyuck says, and quietly leaves the bedroom. 

Taeil crawls under the covers. After scenting Donghyuck, the bed feels better than normal.  
The only thing better would be if Donghyuck was in the bed with him, touching him. But his sustained scent will do, Taeil thinks as he drifts into sleep.

//

The next morning Taeil wakes up and he feels awful again. He’s all shivery and achy, and he wants to press his face into the pillows that smell like Donghyuck. 

He gets up and makes himself some tea and then curls up on the sofa again and falls asleep. 

“Taeil?” He hears in one of his dreams. “Taeil? Wake up please.” 

Taeil opens his eyes. 

It looks like Donghyuck is standing in front of him. Taeil wonders if he’s hallucinating. Donghyuck never comes home in the middle of the day. 

He blinks, but Donghyuck is still standing there. 

“Hello?” Donghyuck says. “Are you alright?” 

“Hello? Am I seeing things?” 

“I hope not.” Donghyuck says. 

“What are you doing home?” Taeil asks. 

“I had a break.” Donghyuck says vaguely. 

“Oh. I don’t have any lunch prepared.” Taeil says. Donghyuck’s face twists oddly. 

“I don’t need you to make anything.” Donghyuck says. “I can do that. How are you feeling?”

“Crappy.” Taeil admits. 

“You don’t look that good.” Donghyuck says. “I’ll go make you some tea.” 

“Donghyuck?” Taeil blurts out. Donghyuck stops where he’s turned to go into the kitchen.

“Yes?”

“Uh. This is strange but…” 

“But?”

“Can I- Never mind.” 

“Is something wrong?” Donghyuck asks, and he looks so earnest that it makes Taeil want to be honest. Donghyuck is trying. Donghyuck wants to help him, he reminds himself. 

“Can we scent again?” Taeil asks, cheeks turning red. 

“Does it help that much?” Donghyuck asks, not in a cocky way. In a curious way.

“Kind of, yes.” Taeil says, and coughs. 

“Of course.” Donghyuck says, and pulls Taeil up to stand in front of him. 

This close he can feel the height difference between him and Donghyuck. For a split-second, Taeil wants Donghyuck to pull him even closer. 

Scenting while sitting down felt good, but scenting standing up is even more intense. As soon as Donghyuck shifts in, Taeil feels something inside him feel the strange urge to submit. He’s already marked by Donghyuck, but his instincts want more. 

As if he knew, Donghyuck’s nose touches the mating mark and a zing of pleasure rushes down Taeil’s spine.

“Oh!” Taeil gasps out. Donghyuck pulls away instantly. 

“What’s wrong?” Donghyuck asks.

“Nothing.” Taeil says, feeling embarrassed. It’s a miracle that he didn’t whine. 

“You made that noise though.” Taeil wonders if Donghyuck is being purposely obtuse.

“It didn’t hurt.” He says. 

“Then why did you moan?” Donghyuck asks, blinking. 

Taeil is silent. He figures that Donghyuck has to be acting like this on purpose.

“Oh!” Donghyuck says, his eyes going wide. “Oh. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Taeil mumbles. “I need to apologize for making it awkward.” 

“No it’s… Fine.” Donghyuck says. “Instincts right?” 

“Yeah.” Taeil replies. “Instincts.” 

Donghyuck stares at him with dark eyes for a moment, and then moves back into Taeil’s neck. Taeil stiffens for a moment, but allows it. 

He lets himself feel good. Just because it’s Donghyuck making him feel good shouldn’t stop him from feeling good. 

The pine and oakmoss are particularly prominent in Donghyuck’s scent, like he’s trying to soothe Taeil. It works, Taeil realizes. He’s calm. But it’s more than calm, there’s a feeling of contentment, like there was something missing within him, but now there isn’t. 

Donghyuck nudges briefly at Taeil’s mating mark one last time, and then pulls away.

“Better?” He asks quietly. His voice is a little different than usual, Taeil thinks. 

“Yes.” Taeil says. “Thank you.” 

“No problem. We’re mates. It’s the least I can do.” Donghyuck says. He won’t stop staring at Taeil. 

Taeil takes a step backwards, and feels himself crumple. 

But Donghyuck catches him before he gets anywhere close to the ground, pulling them right back flush together. Taeil sucks in another breath of Donghyuck’s scent. For a moment he thinks about kissing Donghyuck. It’s just his instincts, he reminds himself, but he still feels the urge all the same. 

“I thought you said that you were feeling better.” Donghyuck says.

“I am.” Taeil says, staring at the ground behind Donghyuck. He doesn’t dare make eye contact. 

“Mhmm.” 

“You can let me go.” Taeil says. “I’m okay, I swear.”

Donghyuck lets go, but his hands hover over Taeil’s biceps for a moment, like he’s expecting Taeil to fall. 

Taeil steps away. His body protests so he forces himself to take an extra few steps from Donghyuck. He can’t trust himself not to lean back into Donghyuck’s scent. Or worse, into Donghyuck’s arms.

“Thank you.” He says awkwardly.

“Of course.” Donghyuck replies, staring at him. 

The moment is quiet and still, just the two of them looking at one another.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Taeil asks softly. 

“Like what?” Donghyuck asks. 

“Like… that.” Taeil answers, feeling uncharacteristically shy.

“Because I want to.” Donghyuck says simply. 

//

After a few more days Taeil finally feels well enough to go out and get back to life slowly. Worst of all, somehow Donghyuck manages to avoid getting sick. 

//

"I haven't seen you in a few days." Joohyun says when Taeil finds her out hanging laundry. "I was worried." 

"I got sick." He explains.

"You should've let someone know. I could've come by with herbs." Joohyun says.

“I had some at home.” Taeil says, thinking of Donghyuck’s horrible brew. But then he thinks of Donghyuck scenting him to make him feel better. 

“Are you alright?” Joohyun asks, looking amused. 

“All good.” He says, and reaches down to help her hang sheets. 

//

A few days later, Taeil runs into Donghyuck’s alpha friends again. 

“Hello hyung!” One of them says cheerfully. Taeil looks around surreptitiously for a way to escape a conversation, but the two of them have caught him on a trail into the village.

“Hello.” The other one says, less excited. “How are you hyung?”

“Uh. Fine?” Taeil answers. They both beam. 

“You remember us right?” The subdued one asks.

“I’m very sorry but I don’t know which one of you is who.” Taeil says. 

“Oh!” One says, the more cheerful looking one. “I’m Jaemin. The ugly one is Jeno.”

“I’m not ugly!” Jeno protests, and the two of them slap at each other half-heartedly for a moment.

“I don’t mean this in a rude way but did Donghyuck put you up to this conversation?” Taeil asks. 

Surprisingly, Jeno and Jaemin burst into laughter. 

“You’re more like Donghyuck than Donghyuck even realizes.” Jeno says. 

“Excuse me?” Taeil asks, which sets them off into laughter again. 

“He doesn’t know we’re here. But we’re his friends. We want the best for him. And for you, by extension.” Jeno says.

“I’m fine.” Taeil says. 

“You need more people in your corner.” Jaemin says. “We can be more people.”

“Er.”

“If you want. We don’t want to force you.” Jeno says, elbowing Jaemin. “We’re not being aggressive.”

“You’re being a little aggressive.” Taeil says. Both of them grimace. 

“Sorry.” They say in freakish unison.

“You know… Donghyuck was really worried about you when you were sick. He kept fussing about whether or not to go home to check on you.” Jaemin says. 

“And he smelled like you.” Jeno says, his eyes bright. Taeil doesn’t understand why a wave of embarrassment passes through him. It’s not like his mate isn’t allowed to smell like him.

“He… We scented each other to make me feel better. And he did check on me.” Taeil says, even though he logically knows that he doesn’t owe them an explanation.

“Did he?” Jaemin asks, looking incredibly pleased. “A good alpha.” 

There’s a lull in the conversation.

“You know, he can take care of you if you let him.” Jeno says. 

Taeil doesn’t know how to respond to that. He’s never thought of Donghyuck as an alpha who would take care of him. 

“You could try it.” Jaemin says. “And see.” 

“I…” Taeil tapers off. “I don’t really know what to tell you.”

He doesn’t understand Donghyuck. He doesn’t know what he tells his friends about Taeil. He doesn’t understand why he would be worried about Taeil when he was sick. 

Worst of all, he resents his own embarrassment at admitting that they scented one another. 

“We’re trying.” He says. Jeno nods. 

“Good. I’m glad. Donghyuck is… shy.” He says. Taeil is surprised to hear that. He can’t imagine a world where Donghyuck would be described as shy.

“Shy with his heart.” Jaemin clarifies. Taeil feels himself turn more red.

“This seems like Donghyuck’s personal business.” Taeil says. 

“We know. But he would never tell you such a thing, no matter how much he cares for you.” Jeno says. Taeil’s heart does something strange in his chest at the mention of Donghyuck caring for him. 

“I… That’s good to know.” He says lamely, and all but flees from the conversation. 

//

He’s still reviewing his strange conversation with Donghyuck’s friends when he gets paired up with Taeyong to work the next day. 

“Is everything okay? You seem distracted.” Taeyong says, looking concerned. 

“Oh. No. I’m all good.” Taeil says. 

“You’ve been raking the same spot for ten minutes.” Taeyong says. 

“Oh.” Taeil says. “Uh.” 

“It’s alright.” Taeyong replies with a laugh. “Come on then, what’s got you thinking in circles?” 

Taeil pauses for a moment.

“What was it like to be courted?” He asks.

“Fun. Exciting.” Taeyong answers with a soft smile. “I know it sounds foolish but it's enjoyable to have someone dote on you. Wait, what do you mean what is it like? Haven’t you been courted?”

Taeil shakes his head.

“Never.” He answers. Taeyong’s mouth falls open. 

“But you’re so… Perfect.” Taeyong says. “Small. Cute. Cuddly. Funny. Kind.”

Taeil laughs. 

“Thank you. But I don’t know. It just never happened. And now… I’m mated.”

“You deserve to be courted though.” Taeyong says. “I’ll court you if I have to!”

“I’m flattered, really. I’ve just been thinking.” 

“About…” Taeyong prods. 

“About someone taking care of me.” 

“Donghyuck?” Taeyong asks. 

“No!” Taeil protests immediately. 

“Well he is your mate.” Taeyong sing-songs. 

“But what about you?” Taeil asks, eager to turn the focus of conversation away from his own overthinking. “Surely you want someone to take care of you.” 

“If I met the right person.” Taeyong answers. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing, by the way.” 

“Does it have to be an alpha?” 

Taeyong pauses to think for a moment. 

“No.” He answers. “When I was younger I had all these ideas about only alphas being able to sweep me off my feet but now… I’m much more realistic. I just want someone to care for me and love me for myself.” 

//

Taeil wonders what it would be like to be courted as he walks home from the fields.

He knows the steps: the gifts, and the time together, and then asking to court. And then the official courtship, and meeting parents, and more gifts. And then the claim, and the mating.

Taeil just skipped over that with Donghyuck and went straight for mating.

He honestly can’t even imagine Donghyuck courting anybody, least of all Taeil. 

//

When he gets home he finds Donghyuck preparing to leave. 

“What are you doing?” Taeil asks as he sees Donghyuck packing a small bag. 

“I have to go away again, I’m sorry. My father wants to take me along for some negotiations with a pack. He’s started talking about me taking over as a pack alpha.” Donghyuck explains. “I know you just got better but my dad won’t say no.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Taeil says. He stills. He hadn’t even thought of the possibility of Donghyuck becoming a pack alpha. If Donghyuck was a pack alpha, Taeil would be one of the most powerful omegas by default. 

“Why do you look so startled?” Donghyuck asks, breaking Taeil out of his thoughts.

“I just realized I hadn’t thought about us in the future.” Taeil says, and then flushes red. He and Donghyuck are hardly a unit. 

“I think we’ll be just fine.” Donghyuck says, and offers a tentative smile to Taeil. Taeil is almost tempted to return it. 

“How long will you be away?” Taeil asks. Donghyuck sighs. 

“A while.” He says. “We’ll try to be quick but it will be longer than the last time.” 

“Okay.” 

“And Taeil?”

“Yes?”

“You can sleep in the bed while I’m gone if you want.” Donghyuck says. 

Taeil has no reason to blush, but he does anyways. 

//

He sleeps in Donghyuck’s bed that first night anyways and pretends that Donghyuck’s scent isn’t a relief, even if the ache in his chest from Donghyuck’s absence grows tighter. 

//

It takes Taeil a few days to seek out Joohyun. He feels funny about it, and he doesn’t know why. 

“Hey you.” She says, when he wanders into the herb garden.

“Hey.” He says in response. 

They’re both quiet. Donghyuck likes that about Joohyun. 

“So. I noticed that the pack alphas have gone away.” Joohyun says. 

“They have.” Taeil confirms. 

"Your alpha left you here alone?" 

"He had no choice.” Taeil says, coming out more defensive than he anticipated. 

“There’s always a choice. And you alpha is a fool to leave an omega like you alone." Joohyun says. 

“What does that mean?” Taeil asks. 

“It means that others have to take care of you.” She says, and suddenly they’re very close to one another. “I’m going to kiss you.” Joohyun says, and does exactly that.

It's just a soft kiss, but it's enough to send shivers through Taeil's body. He's larger than Joohyun despite the fact that he's an omega and she's a beta, which should be awkward but it isn't. 

“That was nice.” He says when she pulls away, her eyes sparkling.

And when she kisses him again Taeil’s chest aches more. 

//

That night Taeil absently wonders what kissing Donghyuck would feel like. What the skin on his face would feel like to touch. What his frame would feel like as it surrounds Taeil. What sounds he would make. He assumes Donghyuck has kissed people before: he’s an attractive alpha who’s set to be a pack alpha someday. 

Taeil wonders if Donghyuck is a shy or a confident kisser, and then he has to ask himself why he’s even wondering. 

//

The days pass slowly when Donghyuck is away. Taeil tries to distract himself from the pain by spending lots of time working, and talking to his friends. It’s hard to sleep with the pain, and even despite his best attempts to exhaust himself with work, Taeil’s nights are sleepless. 

Taeil even tries shifting but that doesn’t make the pain go away, it just makes him want to run as fast as his feet will take him towards Donghyuck. It’s infuriating, Taeil thinks. He feels like he’s out of control of himself. 

//

He doesn’t look for Joohyun again. 

//

Taeil is out finishing up some harvest work when Yoonoh asks him if he can ask him a question. 

“Of course.” Taeil says. “You don’t need to ask.” 

“This is a weird question but…” Yoonoh tapers off. 

“What?” Taeil says. 

“Are you attracted to Donghyuck?” Yoonoh asks. Taeil blinks. He can’t say that he was expecting that question. 

“No.” Taeil says. “Well. I’m attracted through the mating mark. So I like how he smells but no. My instincts are attracted but I’m not.”

“So would you sleep with him?” Yoonoh asks.

“Uh.” Taeil says. He wasn’t expecting that question.

“You don’t have to answer. I was just curious.” Yoonoh says slowly. 

“I wouldn’t.” Taeil says. Yoonoh doesn’t look particularly convinced.

“What happens when you get your heat?”

“I’ll spend it alone like always.” Yoonoh’s eyebrows go up. 

“You’ve never had an alpha?”

“Not during my heat.” Taeil answers. “And I still won’t.”

“You’re mated.” Yoonoh says. “Your instincts change to make you desire your mate during your heat.”

“He doesn’t even want to touch me even if I asked.” Taeil says. 

“What?”

“I don’t think he’s attracted to me.”

“But you’re mated.” Yoonoh says. “His instincts know that he has to take care of you.” 

“I… We aren’t like that.” Taeil says. Yoonoh chews on his bottom lip. 

“Okay.” He says. “Fair enough.” 

“Why do you ask?” 

“I just… You’ve been so sad since he’s been away.” Yoonoh says. 

“I’m not sad. I’m just… tired.” Taeil explains. “It’s painful when he’s away. My instincts want us to be close to one another.” 

“But you’ve been mated for so long now.” Yoonoh says. “I thought that only happened when wolves first mated. It seems strange for it to continue on for so long.”

“Really?” Taeil asks. “I guess. I don’t know.” 

//

The last night before Donghyuck is due home Taeil lies awake thinking about what Yoonoh said. About what Jeno and Jaemin said. 

About Donghyuck taking care of him. He just… can’t imagine it. Donghyuck is young. He should be courting someone young. Someone who could care for him back. 

//

Donghyuck is on top of him. Donghyuck is on top of him, grinding his hips onto Taeil’s. Taeil bares his neck and Donghyuck grins a feral smile. 

“The prettiest omega.” Donghyuck says. “I’ve never wanted anyone but you. I’ll never want anyone but you.” 

“Alpha.” Taeil breathes out. 

“Tell me what you want.” 

“I want you to make me feel good.” Taeil says. 

“Always baby.” Donghyuck replies. “I only ever want to make you feel good.” He reaches a hand down to palm Taeil’s cock and Taeil bucks his hips up. 

“More. Please.” Taeil moans.

“More of what?” Donghyuck asks.

“More!” Taeil says.

“You need to tell me what you want baby. And alpha will give it to you.” Donghyuck says, his voice low and raspy. 

“Your knot!” Taeil wails.

“You want my knot hmm baby?” Donghyuck asks, his eyes crinkling with satisfaction. “All you had to do was ask.”

//

Taeil jerks awake abruptly, a gasp in his mouth. He was dreaming. It was only a dream.

Except his cock strains against the front of his pajamas, and even worse, there’s slick leaking all over the back.

Taeil falls back against his pillow. He doesn’t dare to even think about what he would do if Donghyuck was home. He’d never recover from the embarrassment.

He can’t even believe himself. He had a sexual dream about Donghyuck. He gets out of bed and tries to clean up the best he can, but there is still an unmistakable note of slick in the bed that Taeil knows will be difficult to get out. 

He feels ashamed. Ashamed enough to not even jerk himself off. He doesn’t dare, not when unbidden thoughts of Donghyuck are already creeping around his head. 

//

It isn’t that Taeil is looking forward to seeing Donghyuck, but there’s a kind of anticipatory thrum running through his body on the day Donghyuck is due back.

He finds himself waiting by the door all evening for Donghyuck to get home. 

Donghyuck comes in the door just as Taeil is about to get ready for bed that night. 

“Hey you.” Donghyuck says, looking at Taeil. He looks absolutely exhausted. 

“Hello.” Taeil replies. He’s struck by a strange urge to hug Donghyuck. He ignores the urge. “How was your trip?”

“Do you get that horrible feeling in your chest when we’re apart?” Donghyuck asks instead of answering. “Like all your instincts want is to come home?” 

“Yes.” Taeil answers. “And it gets worse the longer we’re apart.”

“I’m never going away again.” Donghyuck says. “I could hardly sleep.” 

“Me neither.” 

“You don’t look very good.” Donghyuck says, but he’s looking at Taeil like someone would look at a small animal. 

“You don’t either.” Taeil replies. Donghyuck smiles. 

“Let’s go to bed hmm?” Donghyuck says, and Taeil finds himself agreeing. 

//

“Ah. It’s good to be home.” Donghyuck says, sighing with relief when he lies down in bed. He hasn’t even bothered to change out of his travelling clothes. Taeil makes a humming noise in agreement. “Even the bed smells good.” He says. 

“Huh?” Taeil asks. 

“It smells like you.” Donghyuck says. Taeil stares up at the ceiling, praying Donghyuck doesn’t know what slick smells like.

“I…” Taeil starts to say. He decides to feign ignorance. “Well I slept there a few nights to calm my instincts.”

“It smells different..” Donghyuck asks. 

“You’ve just been away for a while.” Taeil says lightly. “You forgot what I smell like.”

“I don’t think I could ever forget your scent.” Donghyuck replies sleepily. Taeil’s heart thuds strangely.

Taeil sleeps like a baby.

//

The next day, Taeil finds Donghyuck waiting for him after work outside the potato field. 

“Donghyuck?” Taeil asks, aware of Taeyong and Yoonoh’s curious eyes on the two of them. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” Donghyuck answers. “I just… Do you want to shift and go running with me?” 

Taeil stands there for a moment. Donghyuck ducked out of his tasks early to find Taeil and ask him to go for a run? It seems surreal. 

“Uh.” He says. But then he thinks of how uncomfortable shifting was when Donghyuck was away. It was probably the same feeling for Donghyuck. “Yeah. Uh. Okay.” He says. 

“Really?” Donghyuck asks, looking surprised. 

“Yeah.” Taeil confirms. “Why don’t we go home and drop our clothes off.”

“Okay.” Donghyuck says. “Let’s go.” 

It’s awkwardly quiet as they walk home. 

“You can change first.” Donghyuck says. “I’ll close my eyes I promise.” 

And Taeil trusts him. 

He changes out of his clothes, and pads into the forest, shifting easily. He feels strangely nervous. 

Donghyuck follows a few minutes later, already shifted. Despite the fact that as men they aren’t that different in size, Donghyuck’s wolf is much larger than Taeil’s. It’s never been so apparent that Donghyuck is an alpha, and a powerful one. 

Donghyuck takes a moment to walk around Taeil slowly and carefully, like he knows Taeil is nervous. Taeil stands still, and then Donghyuck approaches him. 

Donghyuck leans in and sniffs at Taeil’s neck. As wolves, their status difference is much more evident. Taeil doesn’t often feel particularly like an omega but here, with Donghyuck sniffing at him, Taeil almost wants to roll over and show his stomach. He won’t of course, he and Donghyuck aren’t like that, but still… 

Then Donghyuck steps back and raises his head, and Taeil realizes that Donghyuck wants Taeil to scent him back. 

He’s hesitant, but as soon as he sniffs at Donghyuck’s neck, any anxiety goes away instantly. Donghyuck is relaxed, and Taeil relaxes too. 

Donghyuck then steps back and yips at him. Taeil cocks his head to the side, and Donghyuck leaps forward so he’s crouching in front of Taeil, tail wagging. 

He wants to play, Taeil realizes. Taeil hasn’t played with anyone as a wolf in forever, and he’s never played with an alpha. 

So he leaps away, tail wagging, and waits for Donghyuck to follow. And Donghyuck does. The two of them leap through the forest, whirling around and not letting either get too close. 

But then Taeil races off, knowing that Donghyuck is at his heel. He’s never felt freedom like this, like he can go anywhere and Donghyuck will follow. Like nothing bad can happen. 

Finally, Donghyuck manages to cut a shortcut somewhere and land in front of Taeil, forcing them to stop running. 

Taeil is panting as he watches Donghyuck approach him, and nips him in the throat right where his mating mark is. Taeil feels himself go boneless at the bite. It isn’t painful or anything, but it’s possessive, and Taeil is even more susceptible to his instincts. 

He wants to give himself to Donghyuck, and the realization makes him stiffen. Donghyuck moves away instantly, and nudges at Taeil as if to confirm that he’s alright. Taeil nods. 

And then Donghyuck howls and Taeil can’t stop himself from howling too. He’s heard mates howl before, but obviously he hadn’t felt the feeling radiating through his body. 

It’s like nothing else, like he and Donghyuck are in complete harmony. His instincts are satisfied like they’ve never been, and they aren’t even touching. 

//

The happiness from running together lasts for days. 

//

And then Yoonoh and Taeil are working in the fields with some betas that Taeil doesn’t know very well.

“You’re the one who stole the pack alpha’s son.” One of the betas says to Taeil. 

“What are you talking about?” Taeil asks. 

“You don't deserve Donghyuck.” The other one says. “You must’ve done something to seduce him, or else he’d never choose someone like you.”

“You don’t even know him. How dare you say such horrible things?” Yoonoh snarls. The betas look surprised. Taeil even finds himself intimidated -- he didn’t think Yoonoh could be like this. He’s typically so nonplussed about everything. 

“It’s the truth and you know it. He probably fucked Donghyuck and made him obsessed.” 

“Taeil would never.” Yoonoh says. “And I suggest that you keep those filthy words to yourself.” 

“You’re just a whore too… Still unmated at that age. You probably won’t ever mate.” One of the betas says. 

“Take that back right now!” Taeil bursts out. “You don’t even know either of us.” 

“What’s going on here?” Someone asks, and Taeil turns around to see Donghyuck standing there, frowning. 

“Nothing.” Taeil answers immediately. Donghyuck comes closer. 

“Is somebody bothering you?” Donghyuck asks. 

“Yes.” Yoonoh answers. “But they were just leaving.” He all but snarls, and Taeil watches the two betas slink away, probably more out of fear of Donghyuck than anything. 

“It’s nothing.” Taeil says. 

“Come home with me.” Donghyuck says intensely. 

“I still have work to do.”

“I don’t care.” Donghyuck says. “Come home with me, now.” 

“It’s okay hyung.” Yoonoh says. “We can finish the work tomorrow together okay?” 

“Okay.” Taeil replies. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 

“Yeah.” Yoonoh says, offering Taeil a small smile. 

Donghyuck takes Taeil’s hand tightly and walks them home together. He sits Taeil on the sofa and makes him hot water with lemon. 

“Is someone bothering you?” Donghyuck asks, staring at the ground. 

“Me? No.” Taeil says. Donghyuck frowns. 

“Please don’t lie. Not about this.”

“I’m not lying.” Taeil says. 

And then he bursts into tears. It’s a miracle that he didn’t cry sooner. It’s the ugliest kind of crying, the kind of crying that’s more painful release than anything.

Taeil feels Donghyuck’s hand on his back, rubbing his back slowly.

“It’s okay.” Donghyuck says. “It’s okay Taeil.”

So they just sit there, Donghyuck patting Taeil’s back, and Taeil trying to catch his breath. 

“Yes. Yes people have been bothering me.” He admits when he can finally speak without bursting into more tears. 

“Because you’re my mate?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil nods. “That must’ve been a lot to hold in all by yourself.” 

“I guess.” Taeil says, looking carefully away from Donghyuck. He feels exposed.

“I know that you… I wish you would come to me about things like this.” Donghyuck says. “I want to know.”

“You don’t need to fight my battles for me.” Taeil says with a sniffle. 

“I’m not fighting your battles. I’m on your side.” Donghyuck says, and something breaks in Taeil. He doesn’t care. He just collapses into Donghyuck, letting himself rest against Donghyuck’s chest. And Donghyuck lets him. “You’re my mate. I’m not going to let anyone talk down to you.” Donghyuck says, unexpectedly fiercely. 

“Thank you.” He says. 

“You’re welcome.” Donghyuck replies honestly. “We’re a team now, okay?” 

“Okay?” 

//

“My parents want to have us over for dinner sometime.” Donghyuck says as they get ready for bed that night. Dinner had been quiet, Taeil wiped out after his outburst. 

“Okay.” Taeil says. “I’m always free in the evenings.” 

“Okay.” Donghyuck replies. “I’ll let them know. Where are your parents?” Donghyuck asks. “I’m sorry I haven’t asked.”

“I don’t know where my mom is, and my dad died when I was younger.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Donghyuck says. “We don’t need to talk about it.” 

“It’s okay. You asked.” Taeil says. “I guess you’re the closest thing I have to family now.” 

“I guess so.” Donghyuck says, his voice going a little weird.

//

Taeil and Donghyuck go for dinner at Donghyuck’s parents house a few days later. Taeil is nervous. He’s only met Donghyuck’s father briefly, and while he’s sure that he’s seen Donghyuck’s mother somewhere along the way, he’s never met her. 

He wants to impress them, and he doesn’t understand why. 

But it turns out that he has nothing to be nervous about. Donghyuck’s parents are just genuinely happy to get to know him. They ask about his work, and his friends, and his old pack. 

Seeing Donghyuck’s parents together makes Taeil understand Donghyuck better. Neither of them hesitate to tease Donghyuck mercilessly. 

And suddenly scenes of Donghyuck playing with pups come into Taeil’s head. He just knows that Donghyuck would love having kids. He seems like the type to stay youthful even as the years pass, who would hopelessly.

In one scene, there’s a pup cuddled up in Taeil’s arms and Donghyuck is making it laugh as they sit on the sofa on a cool autumn evening.

In another, Donghyuck is watching fondly as pups race around Taeil’s legs.

He pauses, wondering what temporary insanity took hold of him to even imagine him and Donghyuck having a family together.

It simply won’t ever happen, Taeil is sure of it. He’s never imagined himself with a family. It isn’t entirely unappealing, he’s just never been in a situation where it was even possible to imagine having a family.

It’s strange. He can’t imagine having a family with Joohyun. He can’t see anything with Joohyun beyond secret meetings and stolen kisses.

It should hurt more, he thinks, but it doesn’t. 

He’s mated to Donghyuck. That won’t go away. He could never have a family or a true relationship with someone else. The thought doesn’t twist his stomach as much as he anticipated.

//

“Thank you for coming.” Donghyuck’s father says at the end of the meal. “The two of you are welcome any time.”

“We’d be happy to have you over for dinner too.” Taeil says, before he can even stop himself. Donghyuck’s mother grins. 

“Hyuck-ah, you’re a lucky wolf.” She says. Taeil doesn’t know how to respond. 

//

“You didn’t need to offer to have my parents over for dinner.” Donghyuck says as they make their way home after being laden down with leftover food. 

“I meant it though.” Taeil says. “I can cook for them, I don’t mind at all.” He feels himself shiver in the cold night air. 

Donghyuck immediately pulls off the furs he’s wearing and wraps them around Taeil’s shoulders. 

“What’s this for?” Taeil asks, but he accepts them. He’s freezing. 

“You just got better.” Donghyuck says. “My back still hurts from sleeping in the living room.”

“I’ve been better for ages now.” Taeil replies. “And you’ll be cold. What if you get sick?”

Donghyuck scoffs. 

“I won’t get sick. How are you going to survive winter?” Donghyuck asks. “It’s hardly even cold yet.”

“I’ll just stay in bed all winter.” Taeil answers. “I’ll hibernate.”

Donghyuck quirks a smile.

“I’m sure you will.”

They walk a little further. 

“Thank you for indulging me and coming to dinner with my parents.” Donghyuck says. He seems strangely genuine, like he didn’t anticipate Taeil actually going through with the dinner.

“It went better than I expected.” Taeil says. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I guess I’m just surprised that they liked me.” Donghyuck gives him a funny look, like he doesn’t believe Taeil.

“You’re quite likeable.” Donghyuck says. “You know, when you aren’t trying to bite someone’s head off.”

Taeil looks at the ground. He won’t even bother refuting that. 

“Well. They’re nice.” He says. They were. And it was nice to see Donghyuck around his family, to see what’s similar and what’s different between Donghyuck and his parents. 

“I’m glad you like them.” Donghyuck says. “I mean, I hoped you would but…” He tapers off. 

“Don’t you ever want a relationship like your parents?” Taeil asks. 

“What do you mean?”

“A loving one.” Taeil clarifies.

Donghyuck is quiet for a long moment.

“Maybe.” Donghyuck replies vaguely.

“I don’t understand you.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t understand why you picked me to be your mate.”

On the surface It sounds like a repeat of their last big blow up argument. But Taeil feels different. His frustration is really confusion.

“What’s not to understand?” 

“Everything.” 

“Your self esteem can’t be that low.” Donghyuck says. “You know what you look like. You know what you smell like. You know your personality.” 

“I understand that. I don’t understand you. Like everyone says -- you could have picked anybody to be your mate.” Taeil says, and he knows that his frustration is clear in his voice.   
He wants to leave. He doesn’t really know what other action to take to deal with his frustration -- yelling at Donghyuck doesn’t seem like it will do anything. Taeil just wants to be alone to deal with his feelings. 

But he doesn’t even have the opportunity to turn away, because Donghyuck grabs him and pulls him into a hug. Taeil stands there stiffly. 

“What are you doing?” He asks. 

“I think… I think I don’t want to fight with you about this.” Donghyuck murmurs into Taeil’s ear.

Any fight that Taeil still had in him disappears. 

“I don’t want to fight with you either.” Taeil admits. 

“I chose you because I thought you were the best option.” Donghyuck says. Taeil feels laughter bubble up in his chest. 

“Me? The best option?” He asks, pulling away from the hug, laughing and laughing.

“We’re getting better at this.” Donghyuck says instead of answering Taeil. 

“At fighting?” Taeil asks. 

“At resolving our fights.” Donghyuck says with a soft smile. 

“We’ve been mated for some time now.” Taeil says. “I guess it had to happen some time.” 

“Can I… You can say no by the way… Can I scent you?” Donghyuck asks. 

“Huh?” Taeil asks. “Why?” 

“My instincts are screaming at me to be close to you. It’s quite… painful.” Donghyuck says. 

“Really?” Taeil asks. Donghyuck nods. 

“It hurts me whenever we argue.”

“It doesn’t hurt me like that.” Taeil says. “I feel guilty I guess, but my instincts aren’t involved.”

“I think it’s because I’m an alpha. My instincts tell me something different than yours do.”

“But we’re mated.” Taeil says. “Shouldn’t we have the same kind of reaction?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. 

“I asked my parents. It’s common for alphas to feel pain when they hurt someone they care about, but it’s even worse when it’s their mate. Our instincts want us to make the problem go away as soon as possible. It’s dumb, I know.”

Taeil looks up sharply. Donghyuck seems to realize what he’s just revealed at the same time Taeil does. 

“I… It’s not a big deal.” Donghyuck says quickly. 

“You care about me?” Taeil asks, voice just above a whisper. Donghyuck nods. 

Taeil suddenly feels off-kilter and it takes him a moment to figure out why. His instincts are affected by Donghyuck’s admission of care. All of a sudden Taeil wants to throw himself at Donghyuck. He wants to press himself as close to Donghyuck as he can. He wants Donghyuck’s hands on him. Not in a sexual way necessarily, but in a possessive way. 

It’s like his body wants to be close to Donghyuck, to let the mating mark thrum with pleasure like he knows it will when they’re scenting one another. 

Perhaps it’s a moment of weakness. But there’s no one else who can make him feel good, Donghyuck has ruined that for the rest of his life. 

“You can scent me.” Taeil says. 

Donghyuck inhales a ragged breath. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time do be slipping away from my depressed ass though. The good news is that I’m coming out of my seasonal depression so hopefully I will be able to update more quickly! :-) 
> 
> Anyways. Here’s my longass update so let me know what you think!
> 
> This is unbeta-ed but it will be beta-ed at some point so if you come back later and some of the sentences look different -- that's why.

Taeil’s heart is still hammering from Donghyuck’s admission of care when Donghyuck moves to tug Taeil closer to him. He allows Donghyuck to shift close. Scenting one another is starting to feel more familiar. Donghyuck is starting to feel more familiar. 

Taeil lets Donghyuck move them into a comfortable position, and then watches as Donghyuck nuzzles into his neck. It isn’t as stilted as in the past. Donghyuck knows Taeil’s body better now. 

This time is far more intimate than the previous times they’ve scented one another. It isn’t to get rid of pain, or help anyone sleep. This time is for the purpose of calming their instincts after an argument, of being close to one another as mates. 

Taeil feels his breathing grow heavier and slower as time passes. 

“Does this make your instincts feel better?” Taeil asks. His thoughts seem a little foggy.

“It does,” Donghyuck answers. He sounds more relaxed than in their earlier conversation.

Taeil lets his eyes drift close as Donghyuck covers him with his scent. He can feel his scent release too, relaxed under Donghyuck’s ministrations. 

It’s so calming as Donghyuck is releasing possessive pheromones. Taeil leaks slick. It takes him a moment to realize what has happened. He hasn’t leaked slick outside of a wet dream since he was freshly presented. He’s never been close enough to an alpha to slick up. Until Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck's eyes go dark as he looks down at Taeil -- their slight size difference amplified by their position. His scent is so appealing that it makes Taeil is a little dizzy. 

It isn’t just him that’s aroused, Taeil realizes. Donghyuck is turned on too, just from them scenting each other.

“We should…” Taeil tapers off. He isn’t sure what they should do. His mind has slowed to focus only on Donghyuck. He feels a sudden instinctual desire to please his alpha. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says and steps away. His erection brushes against Taeil’s thigh as he does and Taeil senses a whimper bubble up in his throat. It feels like rejection. It feels like an unfulfilled promise. “Are you okay?” Donghyuck asks quietly. Taeil nods. “I’ll go. Um. I’ll go for a walk,” Donghyuck says. 

“You don’t need to,” Taeil replies. “I’m fine. It’s just… Normal. For omegas.” His instincts are screaming to not let Donghyuck go. 

“Um. How do I say this?” Donghyuck starts, “I need to take care of… Myself.” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Taeil’s eyes flicker down to Donghyuck’s dick.

“Oh!” Taeil says, realization dawning upon him. Donghyuck needs to go jerk off because of them scenting each other. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“But I’ll be right back,” Donghyuck promises. “I’m not like… abandoning you.” 

Taeil is about to protest that he wouldn’t assume Donghyuck would leave him, but he realizes that his instincts are already ruffled at the prospect of Donghyuck leaving after such an intimate moment. It would be easy for his instincts to feel abandoned.

“And you can take care of yourself too. If you need,” Donghyuck says. 

“Right.”

Taeil looks down at the floor. He doesn’t want to look at the bulge tenting Donghyuck’s pants. He doesn’t. But just based on the size of it, it seems as if the alpha stereotype is true for Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck gives an awkward wave and leaves the bedroom.

Taeil doesn’t know how to feel knowing that Donghyuck is about to go jerk off thinking about him. Uncomfortable certainly, but a tiny part of him feels good. He made Donghyuck get turned on enough that he has to go take care of himself. The thought pops into his head of Donghyuck jerking himself off in front of Taeil and he almost bets that it would be attractive. 

He wipes himself down and changes his underwear and pants while Donghyuck is gone. 

He feels slightly uncomfortable when Donghyuck gets back. Is he expected to say something? He hopes not.

Donghyuck just comes back into the bedroom and starts getting ready like nothing happened. Taeil is almost disappointed.

“Goodnight Taeil,” Donghyuck says. 

“Goodnight,” Taeil whispers once he’s sure that Donghyuck has fallen asleep.

//

The next morning Taeil goes to find Yoonoh. His mood is lifted and he knows that it’s from his and Donghyuck’s scenting session. He’s generally relaxed and happy, all from his stupid mate. He’s not happy enough to not resent Donghyuck’s power over him.

“Thank you for standing up for me. I appreciate it,” he says when he finds Yoonoh. 

“I’d do it any time,” Yoonoh says, offering him a smile. “You’re my friend. What else would I do?”

“But still. Thank you,” Taeil says shyly. “And I’d stand up for you any day too.”

“You were wrong though,” Yoonoh says.

“About what?”

“That alpha of yours is attracted to you,” Yoonoh replies with a laugh.

“He...” Taeil tapers off. He can’t deny it. Donghyuck is definitely attracted to him. He has been since they first saw each other. “Okay. Well obviously. He probably wouldn’t have chosen to mate me if he thought I was some kind of troll.” 

“And you have to admit that he isn’t bad looking.” 

“No. He isn’t ugly,” Taeil agrees. Yoonoh looks pleased. 

“But you wouldn’t sleep with him?”

“I wouldn’t,” Taeil repeats, but even he can tell that he isn’t convincing anybody. He isn’t even convincing himself. Not when he got slick running down his body just from Donghyuck scenting him. It isn’t just his instincts, maybe it never has been. Somehow that seems embarrassing to admit though. Yoonoh would be smug about it if Taeil told him.

“Suit yourself,” Yoonoh says with a shrug. “But you’re lucky. You got one of the most eligible alphas and you don’t even want to touch him. Save some for the rest of us,” he adds and Taeil wonders if that’s the real reason Yoonoh keeps prodding him about

“Have you ever been courted?” he blurts out. 

“Me?” Yoonoh asks. Taeil nods. “No. I never have.”

“You’re still young,” Taeil says. Yoonoh snorts. 

“Like you’re so much older than I am.”

“I’m serious. You have lots of time to be courted. You’ll find someone amazing. I know it.”

“If they could appear soon,” Yoonoh says with a huffed laugh. “That’d be great.”

“You never know,” Taeil says. 

“I do know though,” Yoonoh replies. “I know all the unmated alphas in the pack and none of them are interested in me.”

“You never know who might have a secret crush,” Taeil says and Yoonoh laughs. 

“You’re a funny guy huh? Come on, let’s go to work.”

//

  
“Yoonoh thinks it’s weird that it hurts when we’re apart,” Taeil says as he and Donghyuck are eating dinner that night. 

“Oh?” Donghyuck asks. “Why?”

“Apparently the pain is supposed to go away after we’ve been mated for a while.” 

“If anything, it’s gotten worse,” Donghyuck says. 

“Yeah.”

“Do you want me to talk to somebody about it?” Donghyuck asks. “I know it’s an awkward topic.”

“I don’t know,” Taeil says. “You said that you won’t be going away for a while.” He sounds more hopeful than he anticipated sounding. 

“Not for the winter,” Donghyuck confirms. 

“So I guess we can see in the spring?” 

“Let’s do that.” 

“I guess we don’t… We aren’t like a true mated couple,” Taeil says. “I wonder if it's throwing our instincts off.”

Donghyuck considers that. 

“I suppose that’s true. We aren’t very conventional, even if we are an alpha and an omega pairing. And we haven’t, you know… Slept together,” Donghyuck says. He sounds shy as he says it, which makes Taeil want to laugh. Donghyuck is usually so confident, it seems surreal to have him be so quiet and shy about sex. 

“No. We haven’t,” Taeil says. For a moment it seems like Donghyuck wants to say something else but he doesn’t. 

“Did he say anything else?” Donghyuck asks. “Your friend?” 

“No. And he won’t tell anyone if you were worried.” 

“I wasn’t, but thank you,” Donghyuck says. “I like that there’s something between us to keep private.” 

Taeil doesn’t know what to say. 

//

He doesn’t mean to end up finding Joohyun, but he does. Her work with the herbs is winding down for the winter -- there will be some roots to dig up through the winter but for the most part she doesn’t have much to do. 

Joohyun goes to kiss him as a greeting, but at the last minute Taeil turns so she kisses his cheek instead.

He doesn't understand why. His body was acting on instinct more than anything. 

“Is everything alright?” Joohyun asks. Taeil nods and he tries to smile but he can’t quite execute it. 

“Maybe I’m still feeling sick,” Taeil fibs. 

“Hmm.” She says and leans in close to his neck. Taeil feels himself go stiff. It’s in a different way than he stiffens up around Donghyuck. This is an uncomfortable stiffness, not a relaxing one. His body is rejecting her, and Taeil has an uncanny inkling why that is.

Donghyuck.

“We should have dinner sometime,” he says. 

“I’d like that,” she says, but her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. It barely leaves her lips. 

He ends up leaving earlier than he’d planned. The atmosphere between him and Joohyun is strained despite his best efforts to change it. . 

//

One morning Taeil wakes up to see the ground frosted over. Pale morning sunlight glints off the sparkling grass and leaves. It’s beautiful in a cold way, he thinks. And it serves as a warning that winter has firmly arrived.

“Cold?” Donghyuck asks as he watches Taeil rearrange his bedding for the fourth time into a suitable wrap on the first day of frost. 

“Yes,” Taeil answers. 

“It would be warmer if we shared a bed,” Donghyuck says. 

“No, thank you,” Taeil says. “I’m fine with mine.”

“I’ll go find you some more blankets and furs then. You need to stay warm,” Donghyuck says. Taeil blinks. He hadn’t expected Donghyuck to say that. 

//

True to his word, Donghyuck comes home the next day with a ridiculous amount of blankets and furs for his bed, as well as a whole stack of winter clothes. 

“You didn’t have to get me all of these,” Taeil says, looking at the pile of warm clothes and furs.

“It’s only going to get colder,” Donghyuck says. “You’ll need these. You’ve already been shivering and it's only the fall.”

“But still. This is overboard.”

“Oops,” Donghyuck says with a shrug and a smile. “I have everything I need. You don’t.”

“Thank you,” Taeil says. “Wait. How much colder is it going to get?”

“Colder,” Donghyuck answers with a laugh. Taeil deflates. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Will I?”

“My pretty summer wolf,” Donghyuck croons. Taeil frowns at him, but his cheeks turn red anyways. He knows that Donghyuck is probably teasing him.

“My evil winter wolf,” he retorts and Donghyuck grins. He has a nice smile, Taeil thinks. 

“You haven’t even seen my evil side,” Donghyuck says, waggling his eyebrows. Taeil laughs. 

“I can’t see you being that evil.” 

“Jeno and Jaemin would beg to differ,” Donghyuck says with a snort. 

“They really care about you hmm?” Taeil asks, thinking about his conversation with them. 

“Yeah. I grew up with them. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

“They’re good friends.” 

“I’d kill for them,” Donghyuck says. 

“That’s a little dramatic.” 

“Don’t you feel the same for your friends?” 

Taeil thinks about it. 

“Maybe it’s different for alphas than for omegas,” he says. “And speaking of -- they tried to sell me on what a good alpha you are.” 

“They did? Jeno and Jaemin?” Donghyuck asks and then groans. “Oh no. Oh god. What did they say?”

“Not much. Just that you’re a good alpha, and that I should give you a chance,” Taeil answers lightheartedly. 

Donghyuck looks embarrassed. 

“Please don’t misunderstand. I promise I didn’t put them up to it and -”

“I know you didn’t,” Taeil interrupts. “They made it pretty clear.”

“Oh.”

“It was sweet of them to look out for you,” Donghyuck somehow looks even more embarrassed. 

“But do you think I’m a good alpha?” Donghyuck asks. 

“I… I don’t think you’re a bad alpha,” Taeil says. “But I guess you’re my alpha no matter what.” 

Donghyuck just stares at him. Taeil flushes red. 

“Er. You know what I mean,” he says. 

“I suppose,” Donghyuck murmurs darkly. “My omega.” 

//

He spills soup broth all the way down his front as he works in one of the kitchens. 

“You should go home and change,” Taeyong says. “You’re soaking.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Duh. You’re going to be uncomfortable.” 

So he makes his way back to Donghyuck’s cabin to change his clothes. He’s stripped down just to his underwear when he hears a noise. 

“Taeil?” he turns around to see Donghyuck standing at the door to the bedroom. Donghyuck's eyes roam over his body. "Oh my god! I'm sorry!" Donghyuck yelps but his eyes are glued to Taeil's chest. 

“Stop staring!” Taeil says, trying with no avail to cover himself up. 

“I’m trying!” Donghyuck says, and takes one last look before turning and leaving. Taeil is flushed when he comes out fully dressed. 

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck repeats. He seems sheepish. 

“It’s fine,” Taeil says. “It was an accident.”

Still Taeil doesn't miss the note of arousal in Donghyuck's scent. Just from seeing his body. He has a perfectly fine body, but he’s never thought of it as arousal inducing on sight only. It makes him oddly satisfied to know that he can get Donghyuck aroused so simply.

“You’re all kitted out for winter now,” Donghyuck says. “How do the clothes fit?”

“Just fine,” Taeil says. Donghyuck did a good job getting clothes for him. “What are you doing home in the middle of the day anyways?”

“I had to drop something off.” 

“Oh.” 

“Are you doing anything for dinner tonight?” Donghyuck asks. “I caught some rabbit earlier, I could bring some home if you wanted?”

“That would be nice,” Taeil replies. There’s a pregnant pause. That sounds like a conversation between two loving mates. Not between him and Donghyuck. “I’ll see you later then.” 

“Okay,” Donghyuck says. “Cool.”

//

The first snow of the winter arrives.

Taeil looks out the frosty window to see snow blanketing the ground -- and not a small amount of it either. 

He’s never seen this much snow before. In the old pack lands, there would sometimes be a sprinkle of snow that would end up melting by mid-day. Nothing like this. 

He wonders what it feels like between his paws. He doesn’t need to wonder -- he can shift and see for himself. 

So Taeil does exactly that. 

He strips down and shifts quickly, eager to avoid being in his exposed human skin in the icy air for too long. 

There’s a distinct scent in the air that must be the snow, Taeil thinks, as he takes a few experimental steps through the snow. His paws sink through silently. Each snowflake seems as big as a grape he thinks, and even sticks his tongue out to catch one. 

If he jumps in the snow, it puffs up in a satisfying cloud.

More than anything though, the snow is silent. It covers everything and makes the world still. If he sits and watches, it's as if time has slowed down.

Taeil doesn’t even realize how snowy he’s gotten until he hears the sound of bright laughter and looks over to see Donghyuck grinning at him from the porch. 

“Having fun?” Donghyuck calls out. “You don’t look like my summer wolf right now.”

Taeil huffs in response. 

“Come inside soon or else you’ll get too cold.”

He dresses cozily once he shifts -- he appreciates Donghyuck’s gifted clothes even more after playing in the snow. 

“You’re still just a pup yourself,” Donghyuck says when Taeil comes into the kitchen. “Playing in the snow like that.” His smile is just as warm as the clothes Taeil changed into.

“I’m not,” Taeil replies. 

“You’re right. You’re much cuter,” Donghyuck says. Taeil resists the urge to smile.

“I’m really not,” Taeil says.

“Nope!” Donghyuck says cheerfully. “My summer pup!”

His words do something strange to Taeil’s insides. He knows that Donghyuck is just playing around, but his instincts aren’t on the same page.

//

With the first snow brings a change to life in the village. Days slow down. Work moves inside, with the exception of some scouting and wood collecting. Taeil finds himself no longer in fields or gardens, but rather in kitchens or workrooms. It’s different, Taeil thinks, but not in a bad way.

//

Another difference is Taeil’s friends. He’s slowly merged his new and old friends together, but usually they spend time all together. 

Which is why he’s surprised to come into a clearing and see Yuta and Taeyong standing together. Close together. Taeil hides out of view to get a closer look. 

Yuta is acting differently than he does around Taeil -- he’s being shyer, and while Taeyong is usually shy, he isn't uninterested. And he definitely isn’t acting like he does around Taeil. He’s leaning into Yuta. He’s smiling softly. He’s practically glowing.

Interesting, Taeil thinks, very interesting.

"What are you doing?" he hears, and turns around to see Donghyuck standing behind him with his arms crossed.

"Nothing," Taeil says. 

“You’re spying.”

“I’m… Okay. I’m spying on them but just a little bit.”

"Those are your friends aren't they?" Donghyuck asks, suddenly right behind Taeil. 

“Yeah,” Taeil answers. “What are you doing here?”

“Spying on you obviously,” Taeil rolls his eyes at Donghyuck’s answer.

"Right.”

“They like each other. Or they’re starting to,” Donghyuck says.

“I hope so. Yuta would be good for Taeyong. He wants to be courted.”

“Taeil the matchmaker hmm?”

"I didn’t even introduce them honestly. But even if I don't have any romance in my life, that doesn't mean I don't want my friends to have romance." 

“I didn’t take you for a romantic,” Donghyuck says. He looks amused. 

“I’m not. I understand how love works but it's always nice to see feelings develop between people.” 

“Do you want romance in your life?” Donghyuck asks.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. I’m mated to you,” Taeil says. Donghyuck’s face slips slightly. 

“Oh.”

“Um. It’s just…” 

“No. It’s fine. I get it,” Donghyuck says. “We didn’t mate for love.”

“I guess so.” 

“But I hope that maybe we can get along,” Donghyuck says, oddly shy. 

“I think we do,” Taeil says. “I didn’t mean that. I spoke too soon. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.” 

“We’re getting better at talking. Aren’t we?” Taeil asks shyly. Donghyuck nods. 

//

Taeil accidentally sees Donghyuck shirtless sparring with Jeno as he’s walking through the woods to visit Yuta. 

He doesn't mean to stare. Except Donghyuck's chest is slick with sweat despite the cold, and his muscles are straining, and he looks so much like an alpha that Taeil can’t quite help himself. 

He's never seen Donghyuck like this. He's seen Donghyuck in private, changing for bed. To see Donghyuck so openly exposed like this almost makes him feel a little funny. Other people can see Donghyuck like this -- can admire him. 

And maybe that’s the real problem, Taeil thinks. Donghyuck is his. He’s the only one who sees Donghyuck without clothes on. Donghyuck is exposed for the whole pack to see.

"Don't look now," Taeil hears. "But Hyuck, you have an admirer."

Jeno pulls away from Donghyuck 

Taeil looks around him. There must be somebody watching Jeno and Donghyuck spar. He doesn’t know why that makes him feel a little funny. 

"I’m talking about you Taeil-hyung," Jaemin drawls. 

Taeil flushes. Donghyuck whirls around and their eyes meet. He grins when he sees Taeil and Taeil gives a small wave in response. 

“Taeil!” Donghyuck calls out. “What are you doing here?”

“I was out for a walk,” he says. “I wasn’t spying on you I promise.” Donghyuck laughs. 

“I didn’t think you were.” 

Donghyuck's nipples are hard in the cold air. Taeil tries hard not to look. He really does. But then Donghyuck flexes his chest muscles. 

“My eyes are up here,” Donghyuck says. 

“I wasn’t being creepy,” Taeil replies, gaze flicking to the ground. 

“It’s alright,” Donghyuck says. “We’re mated. You’re supposed to admire me.” 

“I was not!” 

“You were so,” Jaemin says, slinging a sweaty arm around Taeil’s shoulder. 

“Who wouldn’t stare at him?” Jeno asks. “Although, I’m a little offended that you didn’t stare at me.”

“<i>I</i> was staring at you,” Jaemin says. 

“Please,” Donghyuck says. “Stop traumatizing Taeil.” 

“You aren’t,” Taeil says. Jeno and Jaemin smile at him. Donghyuck huffs. 

"I want to go to the hot springs to wash. Do you want to join me?" Donghyuck asks and then Donghyuck’s eyes widen. "Not like that! Just to warm up!" 

Taeil laughs. Jaemin snorts and Jeno punches Donghyuck’s arm. 

"I think you just made the situation worse," he says. Donghyuck eyes him, looking surprised. 

"I don't think I've ever made you laugh before," Donghyuck says. Taeil’s mouth shuts. “I guess I’ll have to try to do it more often.”

"I’m going to meet someone. You go warm up and I’ll see you later tonight hmm?" Taeil says. 

“I’ll take you there another time then,” Donghyuck says. “It’s nice.”

“Okay,” Taeil agrees. 

“Nothing like Donghyuck naked and wet,” Jeno says and Taeil bites his lip. He prays that he doesn’t turn red from Jeno’s teasing. 

“He can see that any time he wants,” Donghyuck replies smugly. Taeil just rolls his eyes.

//

“You’re all flushed,” Yuta says when Taeil eventually finds him. “Did Donghyuck surprise you with something nice?” he adds with an eyebrow waggle.

“No!” Taeil yelps. “No. Why would you even mention him?”

“No reason,” Yuta says. “None at all,” he adds a wink to the end of his sentence and Taeil wants to run away. His mind flashes to Donghyuck shirtless. 

“Stop that,” Taeil chides. “You’re being gross.” 

“What?” Yuta asks, blinking innocently. 

“I hate you.” 

“You love me,” Yuta sing-songs. Taeil half-wishes he wasn’t right.

//

A few weeks after the wrestling incident, Taeil is walking home with Donghyuck, and Joohyun is coming the opposite way. 

“Hi,” she says, mostly to Taeil. Her face brightened up as soon as she saw him. He smiles back.

“Hi,” Taeil says. "Donghyuck, this is Joohyun. Joohyun, this is Donghyuck."

"Hi Donghyuck," Joohyun says, bowing politely.

“Hello,” Donghyuck says in a cold voice. 

“Joohyun grows herbs,” Taeil says. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck replies haughtily. Taeil has never seen this side of him. It's jarring in comparison to how he usually sees Donghyuck. Even in the beginning when he was irritated with Taeil he was never like this. 

“We work together sometimes.” 

“Mhm.”

“Taeil speaks fondly of you,” Joohyun says and Donghyuck tenses. 

“Does he?” he asks. “How nice.” 

“Yes,” Joohyun says. “He’s very helpful.” 

“He is definitely helpful,” Donghyuck says angrily.

“We’re just on our way home. We should-” Taeil starts to say.

“Come on Taeil. We should head home for dinner,” Donghyuck interrupts, sickly sweet. His fingers dig into Taeil’s wrist. "Nice meeting you." 

“Nice meeting you too,” Joohyun says.   
  
They walk in silence for a few minutes until Taeil’s anger gets the better of him.

"What was up with that? With you?" he asks. “I’ve never seen you act like that with anyone.”

"She likes you," Donghyuck says. "And if you think I don't notice when you come back to me smelling like her, then you're wrong."

Taeil clenches his jaw. Donghyuck knew the whole time. He allowed it. He would say hello to Taeil smelling like another wolf. His mate. He would watch Taeil come in and sleep in the same room. He would even touch Taeil. And he didn't say anything up until now.

"I didn’t think you noticed,” he admits. 

“You’re the most important person in my life, whether you like it or not,” Donghyuck says. “How could I not notice when my nose picks up on your scent from miles away?”

Something strange passes through Taeil. Donghyuck must be a strong alpha to be so young and have the ability to control himself. They're mated. For an alpha to allow his mate to be practically courted by someone else... He has remarkable control over his instincts.

Taeil shouldn't find it attractive, but he does. 

“Oh,” he says. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck repeats. 

"Do you want me to stay away from Joohyun?" Taeil asks quietly. 

"Are you happy with her?" Donghyuck asks back.

Taeil doesn't respond. He doesn't have an answer. At least not one he wants to admit to Donghyuck. 

He'll never be happy with Joohyun as long as he's mated to Donghyuck. He and Joohyun aren't as compatible as he and Donghyuck, and Donghyuck knows this. 

And he still allowed Taeil to spend time with her.

//

Taeil thinks about it for a few days. Donghyuck is tense and quiet at home. They don’t speak much to each other. 

Taeil’s thoughts spin around his skull. He likes spending time with Joohyun. Mostly he likes that she is the opposite of Donghyuck. But he’s finding more and more positive aspects of Donghyuck, and the opposite traits Joohyun offers don’t seem as enticing. Not when Donghyuck is smiling at him and walking him home and running with him.

Because at the end of the day Donghyuck is his mate -- not by choice -- but his mate all the same. And… of every alpha Taeil has ever met, he could have done far worse for a mate than Donghyuck. Far worse. 

//

Taeil seeks out Joohyun the next day. 

"I don't think we should do this anymore," Taeil says. He doesn’t bother prolonging the conversation. Joohyun gives him a sad smile. 

"I knew that was coming," she says. "But it still doesn't feel good to hear." 

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you."

"It's alright," Joohyun answers. "I knew it was coming from the first time your alpha spoke to me."

"He was a dick. He really isn't usually like that," Taeil says. "Well. Most of the time." 

"I know. He spoke to me before that," Joohyun says. 

"Donghyuck spoke to you before that?" Taeil asks. Of course he did. 

"He told me to take good care of you." Joohyun says. The tips of her ears are turning pink. 

“Oh.” 

"I called him a fool. I think now, perhaps that isn't quite correct," Joohyun says. 

“He is a fool,” Taeil says. “But in a different way than you meant.” 

There’s a pause in the conversation. 

"I'll see you around," Joohyun says. 

"Do you think we could... perhaps be friends?" Taeil asks. Joohyun pauses.

"I think I need a bit of time. But I'd like that." 

"I want you to be happy." 

"I want that too,” Joohyun replies. 

//

Taeil doesn't mean to wait for Donghyuck to get home to tell him about his conversation with Joohyun but he ends up doing exactly that anyways. 

"I'm not seeing Joohyun anymore," Taeil says from the open bedroom door. 

Donghyuck stills where he's getting unchanged from his work clothes. It's clear that he wasn't expecting this. Taeil doesn’t know how or why Donghyuck wouldn’t expect it. It seems inevitable for them. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck says. Taeil can’t help but feel a little disappointed in his response. 

He doesn’t know if he should push the conversation any further. Donghyuck wasn’t particularly happy when they talked about Joohyun before. 

“I made dinner. If you want,” Taeil says. 

They eat in silence. They get ready for bed in silence. 

"You asked me if I could be happy with her," Taeil says when they’re each in their respective beds. 

"Yes," Donghyuck replies.

"Why didn't you ask if I could be happy with you?"

Donghyuck is silent for a moment. 

"Because I don't like asking a question if I already know the answer," Donghyuck says simply. 

Taeil doesn’t know what to say. 

Donghyuck doesn’t say goodnight. Taeil doesn’t know if he’s relieved or disappointed.

It takes them both a long time to fall asleep. Taeil can hear the sheets rustling as Donghyuck tosses and turns and, even if Taeil is lying still, his mind is outpacing itself. Somehow, he feels like he made the situation worse. He doesn’t know why Donghyuck seems so weird. 

//

Taeil and Donghyuck are awkward around each other for days. Taeil doesn’t know what to say to Donghyuck, and Donghyuck is avoiding his eyes. It’s similar to their situation when Taeil first arrived, and he quickly realizes how much he doesn’t want to go back to that. 

He likes Donghyuck. He wants to return to the comfortable relationship they had. He doesn’t want this cold home. He doesn’t want this cold alpha. He wants Donghyuck back.

He just doesn’t know how that’s going to happen.

//

Taeil is sifting grain with Yuta and Yoonoh when he decides to talk about it.

“So… Suppose you knew someone who was having a not quite fight with their mate-” Taeil starts to say.

“You and Donghyuck,” Yoonoh says. 

“No. Someone else,” Taeil says. 

“Right. Someone else,” Yuta replies, giving Yoonoh a look. 

“It’s hypothetical.” 

“You’re hypothetically stupid,” Yoonoh mutters. 

“Okay, okay. Can I finish?” Taeil asks. Yuta elbows Yoonoh. “So. Someone is having a kind of fight with their mate. Maybe one of them wasn’t as committed as the other but now they are, but things are awkward between the two of them. How could they get less awkward?”

“Have they talked about it? Resolved that they’re both committed?” Yuta asks. 

“Er. Kind of?”

“Kind of?” Yoonoh asks. “That doesn’t sound like a yes.”

“You should talk about it clearly. Explain how committed you are. How much you care about them.”

“It’s not me,” Taeil reminds them.

“Right,” Yoonoh says slowly.

Just then, Jaemin and Jeno walk into the cabin and wave at Taeil. Taeil waves back. Suddenly he’s hit with a memory of the conversation he overheard between Donghyuck and what he now knows to be Jeno. 

Trust. 

He thinks about it. 

He trusts Donghyuck now. He really does. Donghyuck has shown over and over that he can be trusted. He’s taken care of Taeil. He’s been kind to Taeil. He’s funny, and endearing, and charming. And Taeil appreciates that. He does. 

But Donghyuck doesn’t know that. 

//

“I need to tell you something,” Taeil blurts out as they’re each lying in bed that night. He can’t wait any longer.

“You do?”

“Yes,” Taeil says. 

“What is it?” Donghyuck asks. He seems almost nervous.

"I trust you," Taeil says and he's surprised at how much he means it as he admits it. 

"What?"

“I trust you, Donghyuck.”

“And you’re telling me before we go to bed?”

“Yes,” Taeil says. Donghyuck snorts out a laugh. 

“You’re a funny guy.” He says. His features grow serious. "Thank you. That... that's important to me."

  
//

The coldness between them unthaws. Something has shifted between them, Taeil thinks. Donghyuck walks him home most days, and they eat dinner together every night. 

Perhaps, he thinks, even if they don’t love each other, they can be good company.

//

As well, Jeno and Jaemin start spending more time with Taeil. Mostly they come and bother him at work, but sometimes they come over to Donghyuck’s house and ask him to cook for them. 

Eventually Taeil gives in, which is of course when Donghyuck finds them. 

“Hello?” Donghyuck asks, coming into the kitchen at the end of a snowy day to find Jaemin and Jeno crowded into the kitchen, watching Taeil make stew. 

“Hello,” Taeil says with a smile. 

“Hello!” Jeno says. “I have bad news though. I don’t think Taeil is making enough food for you too.” 

“What?” Donghyuck asks. He looks at Taeil expectantly. Taeil shrugs. 

“He’s only feeding his friends,” Jaemin replies. 

“No but what are you doing here?”

“We’ve decided we like Taeil more than we like you,” Jaemin says. 

“He’s our best friend now,” Jeno jumps in. 

Jeno puts an arm around Taeil’s shoulder and Jaemin puts his arm around Taeil’s other shoulder. 

Donghyuck looks spectacularly unimpressed.

“Excuse me? He’s mine. Go find your own,” Donghyuck says grumpily. Taeil tries to pretend that Donghyuck’s words don’t affect him.

“They’re not bothering me,” Taeil says.

“We’re not bothering him,” Jeno and Jaemin say in near unison. Taeil finds he’s less alarmed by them now. 

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you can just waltz in here.”

“Technically, I invited them in,” Taeil says. He swears that a vein throbs in Donghyuck’s forehead. 

“This is terrible. I should’ve never introduced you,” he says. 

“But how would we have met our best friend?’ Jaemin asks. Jeno kisses Taeil’s cheek.

Donghyuck sighs. 

//

“The alphas are going hunting tomorrow,” Donghyuck announces at dinner a few days later. “My dad just told me. He asked me to go in his place, because he has something to do here.”

“Okay,” Taeil says. “So you’re going to be gone for the day or longer?”

“Just the day. We aren’t going very far.”

“I guess we can see if the instinct pain comes back,” Taeil says. 

“Are you going to be busy tomorrow? What if it hurts a lot?” 

“I’ll be fine,” Taeil replies. “You’re the one who’s supposed to be hunting, what if you’re in pain?”

“I’m an alpha,” Donghyuck says with a semi-puffed chest. “I can’t show pain,” he jokes. 

“Donghyuck,” Taeil says seriously. 

“I’ll be careful. I promise.”

//

Taeil goes about his day normally. He doesn’t feel any pain in his chest. His instincts feel fine. He keeps on edge, waiting for the pain to appear, but it doesn’t. 

Finally, he gathers with everyone else for the alphas to come back and show off their catches. 

But Donghyuck is the very last alpha to come in. 

Taeil is wondering if Donghyuck is ever going to come home when murmuring breaks out through the pack. 

"Holy shit," Yoonoh says. "Hyung..." 

“What?” Taeil asks and turns to see Donghyuck’s wolf dragging an enormous deer across the clearing, making a beeline right for him. “He cannot be serious.” 

“That looks pretty serious,” Yuta says. 

Donghyuck only stops moving when the buck is at Taeil’s feet. 

"Oh good god," Taeil mutters. Donghyuck sits down and looks at Taeil. He looks like a puppy trying to please its owner. 

"You have to accept it," Yoonoh prompts. 

"I accept," Taeil says, his voice unexpectedly hoarse. 

Donghyuck comes over close to him and licks at Taeil’s neck. The meaning is obvious to anyone who sees — Donghyuck is marking Taeil as his, even though they’re already mated. 

“Eww,” Taeil says, trying to wipe at. “You just came from a hunt and now I’m all bloody.”

Donghyuck just wags his tail unhelpfully. He doesn’t look particularly apologetic.

“What if I licked you? Hmm?” Taeil asks. Taeyong snorts. Donghyuck lets out the closest noise a wolf can make to a laugh. 

“He’d probably like that,” Yoonoh says and Donghyuck leans in to lick at Taeil’s neck again. Taeil shoves him away. 

“Ick!” hesays. Donghyuck looks even more pleased with himself. 

One of the other alphas howls and Donghyuck huffs and takes off. 

“What was that?” Yoonoh asks. 

“He was trying to impress you,” Taeyong says. 

“He wasn’t. I don’t know what he was doing,” Taeil replies. Yoonoh and Taeyong roll their eyes. 

Taeil goes home quickly to wipe off. He half-wonders if Donghyuck will join him but he doesn’t. 

Donghyuck finds him instead at the feast to celebrate the hunt. He’s bathed and put on clean clothes, and looks absolutely exhausted. 

“Blegh. Tired,” Donghyuck says, and proceeds to inhale whatever food he can see. 

“Whoa! Slow down,” Taeil says with a laugh. “You have time. There’s lots of food.” 

“I’m hungry,” Donghyuck almost whines. 

“Come on pup. There’s enough food. You’ll get a stomach ache,” Taeil chides and knocks his knee against Donghyuck’s leg. 

“Fine,” Donghyuck says, and slows his eating speed. 

"You didn't need to do all that for me," Taeil mutters eventually. “That deer is huge.” 

"Who else do I have to impress? Our pack already knows me. It's only you who doesn't seem to think very much of me."

“That’s not true…” 

“Isn’t it?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil is struck by the desire to alleviate Donghyuck’s doubt about him. He presses his leg against Donghyuck again, and keeps it there. The bond hums. 

“Not anymore,” he says. “Not for a while actually.” 

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Taeil confirms. He feels too shy to make eye contact with Donghyuck so he just puts some of his food on Donghyuck’s plate. 

“Feeding me now, are you?” Donghyuck asks. His eyes are bright. 

“Shut up and eat,” Taeil says. Donghyuck laughs, but he does as he’s told.

Quickly after he’s eaten though, Taeil can see Donghyuck’s energy fall. He’s practically slumped over at the table but still picking at bits and pieces of food.

"You look exhausted. We should go home," Taeil says. It's true -- tiredness is weighing on Donghyuck. 

"Okay," Donghyuck agrees instantly.

They excuse themselves and get smiles from Donghyuck’s parents. Donghyuck’s mother winks at Taeil, and he realizes that they think he and Donghyuck are leaving dinner early for another reason altogether. He blushes a little. 

Donghyuck collapses in bed as soon as they get home. 

"Aren't you changing?" Taeil asks. 

"No," Donghyuck says, his voice muffled by the blankets. "Too tired." 

“You’ll get too hot in your sleep,” Taeil says. 

“Don’t care.”

“But you’ll complain to me, so I mind.” 

“Then you change me,” Donghyuck says, turning his head to the side so he can look at Taeil. 

“Brat.” Taeil says, but he shifts closer to Donghyuck anyways. 

He tugs at Donghyuck’s sweater and Donghyuck lifts his arms up so Taeil can take it off. 

Taeil peels off one arm of Donghyuck’s sweater and then leans over to remove the other. 

Their faces are quite close. Donghyuck’s tiredness is even more evident up close. Taeil doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck’s breath hitches for a moment. 

Taeil hands then come up between them to ruck up the sweater and lift it over Donghyuck’s head. 

He’s seen Donghyuck shirtless many times, but still Taeil finds himself impressed with Donghyuck’s chest. 

There’s something burning in the air between them. Donghyuck’s eyes are dark, despite his exhaustion, and Taeil finds himself wanting to linger. He wants to lean in closer. 

“You’re beautiful,” Donghyuck says. 

“You’re delirious,” Taeil jokes. 

“Maybe,” Donghyuck says. “Maybe not.”

"Thank you," Taeil says. 

"For what?" 

"For the deer," Taeil clarifies. "You didn't have to do that."

"Think of it as me spoiling you then." Taeil can't hold in his laugh. 

"Sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just..." 

"I think I should give you some more things if that's how you respond," Donghyuck says, and he doesn't sound mad. 

“You don’t have to do that. I’m just fine.”

“What if I want to spoil you?” 

“I don’t… I don’t know.” Taeil says. “I’ve never had anyone spoil me before.” 

“Then I should most definitely spoil you.” Donghyuck says, and then lets out an enormous yawn. He flops down, away from Taeil. 

“You should get some sleep is what you should.” Taeil says. He can hear how warm his voice sounds. 

"Goodnight Taeil," Donghyuck says. 

“Goodnight,” Taeil says back.

//

“Two alphas are coming from another village to do some winter trading with our pack,” Donghyuck says as they eat breakfast together one morning. “I’m going to go meet them if you want to come with?” 

“Okay,” Taeil agrees. 

They walk together to the edge of the village to find the two alphas.

Donghyuck’s arm wraps around his waist. He’s acting possessively, Taeil realizes. 

The two alphas are clearly alphas -- tall, with broad shoulders. One is deep in conversation with Donghyuck’s father, so Donghyuck approaches the other. 

“I’m Donghyuck,” Donghyuck says. 

“Youngh,.” The alpha says, but he’s looking right at Taeil. Taeil doesn’t show any indication of interest. Objectively he’s attractive -- tall and muscular with a handsome face. He’s the ideal image of an alpha but his scent is entirely unappealing to Taeil. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Donghyuck says. “We’re looking forward to prosperous trading.” 

“Us too,” Youngho replies. His eyes flick up and down Taeil’s body again. “And you are?”

“This is my mate, Taeil,” Donghyuck offers. Youngho frowns slightly. 

The conversation continues like this -- Donghyuck speaking to Youngho, and Youngho staring at Taeil. 

“He kept staring at you,” Donghyuck says once the conversation is over.

“I saw,” Taeil replies.

“I mean I expect it. You’re you. Who wouldn’t stare, but still. I was right there!” Donghyuck says. 

“Huh?” Taeil asks. 

“Ridiculous,” Donghyuck says. “Ridiculous. And rude! I can’t believe the nerve of some alphas-”

Taeil’s brain is still processing Donghyuck saying that he expects people to stare at Taeil. 

“You really don’t need to worry,” Taeil says, cutting off Donghyuck’s angry ramblings. “He doesn’t smell good to me.”

“Hmm?”

“His scent. I’m not interested. My instincts aren’t attracted to him,” Donghyuck stares right at Taeil. 

“Do I smell good to you?” Donghyuck asks. 

“Well you know. We’re mated. So obviously you don’t stink,” Taeil answers. His answer doesn’t seem to satisfy Donghyuck.

“I don’t stink.” 

“No.”

“Good to know,” Donghyuck says in a flat voice. 

“No you… I don’t know. You smell fine,” Taeil adds quickly. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “You smell good. Whatever.” 

A small smile crosses Donghyuck’s face. 

//

It’s been a while since his last heat, so it takes Taeil some time to recognize that he’s in pre-heat. He doesn’t catch it at the tiredness, so it takes him waking up nauseous for the third time to realize what’s happening.

“I think I’m in pre-heat,” he tells Donghyuck that morning. Donghyuck almost drops his cup of tea. 

“Is everything okay? Do you feel sick?” 

“I’m fine. I just can feel that my heat is coming soon is all. I don’t feel sick.” 

“Okay,” Donghyuck says. “Okay. Um. What do we do?”

“Nothing,” Taeil replies. “I have a few more days before my heat hits. I’m just letting you know.”

Donghyuck still looks panicked. 

“I’m not dying Donghyuck. My heat is just coming.” 

“But still. We need to be prepared.”

“Prepared for what?” Taeil asks. 

“You know… Heat things!” Donghyuck answers. 

Taeil blinks at him. 

“I’ll be fine. I’ve had a few of them in my life.” 

“Right. Yes. Of course. So I don’t need to panic?”

//

Nothing much happens for a few days. Taeil’s preheats just mean some nausea and pain, and sometimes some slickness when he wakes up. 

But then he runs into the last person he wants to when he’s walking home. Youngho already looms over him, but Taeil’s preheat makes him seem even more irritating. 

Taeil can feel his heat impending -- the change in his body is obvious, and Youngho looks like he can tell.

Youngho isn’t looking at Taeil like two acquaintances do. He’s staring at Taeil as an alpha looks at an omega. 

“Taeil right?” Youngho asks. Taeil nods.

Youngho takes a step closer to Taeil. Taeil takes a step back.

“I don’t say this often, but you’re a very beautiful omega. Your mate must be very happy.” 

Taeil doesn’t know what to say. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth. 

“You’re quiet hmm?” Youngho asks. He’s too close, but Taeil has nowhere to go. 

Out of nowhere, Donghyuck emerges in a fury.

“Get away from him,” Donghyuck snarls, snatching Taeil’s wrist and yanking him close. Taeil leans in immediately. Donghyuck’s scent is so much nicer than Youngho’s. The ache in Taeil’s back is immediately relieved. 

Donghyuck marches them away from Youngho. 

“Relax Donghyuck,” Taeil says, his arm wrapped around Donghyuck. 

“Relax? How dare he get close to you in pre-heat?” Donghyuck seethes. “You’re obviously mated.”

“He wasn’t going to do anything,” Taeil reasons. “He was just being flirty.”

“You aren’t available,” Donghyuck says. 

“I know I’m not available. I’m also not interested,” Taeil repeats. “I’m not going to do anything with him.”

“You’re mine, Taeil!” Donghyuck bursts out. And it must be his pre-heat, but Taeil finds himself flattered by the fact that Donghyuck is being so possessive of him. His instincts feel the sudden urge to scent his alpha, to comfort his alpha. 

He logically knows that if it were any other time he’d be put off by Donghyuck’s actions. He doesn’t believe in mating being a kind of ownership. But he’s being driven more by instinct than reason right now anyways. 

“Hey. Come here,” Taeil says, and for the first time, tugs Donghyuck towards him. It’s his first time initiating skinship. 

“I wasn’t going to let him do anything,” he says, nosing against Donghyuck’s scent gland. “I’m serious.”

“Are you… calming me down?” Donghyuck asks after a moment. 

“I’m trying,” Taeil says. “I can stop if you want.” 

“No,” Donghyuck answers quickly. “It’s… It’s fine. This is nice.” 

“Good,” Taeil replies. He means it. He doesn’t want Donghyuck to be upset about Youngho. He wants his alpha to trust him in the same way he’s put his trust in Donghyuck.

“You meant it. You really aren’t interested in him,” Donghyuck says, like he’s genuinely surprised. Taeil feels a prickle of disappointment that Donghyuck doesn’t trust him enough to know that he wouldn’t choose anyone but Donghyuck. Then he thinks about Joohyun. He hasn’t exactly given Donghyuck many reasons to believe him.

“I told you I wasn’t.” 

“We should get you home,” Donghyuck says. “If even just for my sake.”

Taeil nods. He wants to appease Donghyuck. He wants to be home alone with Donghyuck. 

They walk home together. Donghyuck walks closer to him than necessary but Taeil doesn’t mind. Donghyuck’s attention feels good. 

  
//

By the time they get home, Taeil is starting to sweat a little. It has nothing to do with the weather -- his heat is beginning. 

“My heat is hitting.,” He says. 

“I know,” Donghyuck says. “I can smell you.”

“Donghyuck?” 

“Yes?” Donghyuck looks at him, sending a wave of scent. Taeil shivers without even knowing. 

Donghyuck smells good. Donghyuck smells really good. He smells good enough that Taeil wants to lick him. 

He steps in so he’s close to Donghyuck. Donghyuck’s eyes go wide but he doesn’t move or protest. So Taeil moves even closer. They’re chest to chest now.

He leans into Donghyuck’s neck and presses a little kiss onto the curve of it. He wants Donghyuck to kiss him. He wants Donghyuck’s hands all over him. He wants Donghyuck’s knot-

But then Donghyuck all but shoves him away.

“What are you doing?” Taeil asks, his voice close to a whine. He doesn’t understand why Donghyuck doesn’t want him. Why doesn’t his alpha want him?

"I'm going... I'm going to leave now," Donghyuck says.

"You don't-" Taeil calls out and stops. Donghyuck stills. 

"I don't?" Donghyuck repeats. 

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," Taeil says quietly, trying to hide his desperation. He doesn’t know if he could deal with Donghyuck leaving him right now, not in the state he’s in. 

Donghyuck is silent for a long moment.

"I don't know if I'd be able to control myself," Donghyuck says.

"So don't," Taeil says. He's sure that Donghyuck is going to leave. 

"Are you sure about this?" Donghyuck asks instead. Taeil swallows. More slick leaks out. He wants Donghyuck to touch him. 

"I don't know," Taeil admits. 

Donghyuck takes a long pause. 

"I need you to be certain," Donghyuck says in a strange voice.

And then he really does turn and leave. Taeil’s instincts go awry. A strange shiver passes through him and he feels like he’s about to throw up. Rejection in heat isn’t pleasant for a mated omega, he realizes. 

He feels like he’s bursting out of his skin. 

“Donghyuck!” Taeil yelps, sure that he’s too late. “Alpha!” He cries, and hates himself for being so weak to call out for his alpha. But he has no other choice than desperation.

Donghyuck appears in the doorway. 

“Taeil,” He says. His breathing is ragged. 

“Please stay. I know you can control yourself.” Taeil says, his voice cracking slightly. “Just… Please don’t go. It’ll hurt more if you leave.”

Taeil can see the conflict playing out on Donghyuck’s face. 

“What do you want me to do?” Donghyuck asks. 

“I don’t know. I’ve never spent my heat with anyone before,” Taeil says.

“Are you a virgin?”

“No,” Taeil answers. Donghyuck’s face tightens. “I’m six moons older than you. I’ve had a lot of time.” 

“I don’t really want to hear about my mate sleeping with other people.” 

“I’ve never been with an alpha,” Taeil blurts out. Donghyuck’s gaze is intense. 

“You haven’t?”

“No. No one’s ever been interested.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” Donghyuck says. “But I’m the last one to complain.” He reaches out and trails his fingertips over Taeil’s forearm. Taeil whimpers at the touch. Donghyuck grins. 

“I’m in heat. I can’t control myself,” Taeil says. 

“I’m in control though,” Donghyuck says. “So, get comfortable. We’re going to be here for a while.”

Taeil’s skin is warm to the touch, so he strips out of his clothes except for his shirt. Donghyuck’s gaze is heavy on him. Taeil lets himself feel confident. He’s made his alpha aroused before.

“Now I take care of myself,” Taeil says.

“Do you… finger yourself?” Donghyuck asks, cheeks turning red. Taeil laughs. 

“Sometimes. It doesn’t feel that good though.” 

“Oh,” Donghyuck says. “Well. Um. I’ll be in the living room if you need me?” 

“Okay,” Taeil says. “I’ll be here.” 

  
//

Halfway through the afternoon his hand cramps up. He’s been jerking off all day and he still feels just as irritable and aroused as he did when he woke up. 

He shakes his hand out, trying to alleviate the cramps. 

“Is something wrong?” Donghyuck asks. 

“My hand hurts,” Taeil says. 

“Do you want to…” Donghyuck tapers off.

“Do I want to what?”

“On my leg?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil blinks at him.

“Huh?”

“You could… I don’t know. Get off on my thigh. Some people can get off like that. And I’d be close by so you’d have my scent. And we’d be touching but I wouldn’t be the one getting you off. Only if you want. Just an option.”

“You’re babbling,” Taeil says and pushes Donghyuck down so he can sit on his lap. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck says. His eyes are wide, like he didn’t expect Taeil to agree, let alone manhandle him. 

“So I just… Grind on your leg?” Taeil asks. Donghyuck nods. 

Taeil starts to swivel his hips, angling so that his cock drags against Donghyuck’s leg.

It takes him a moment to figure out the right rhythm. 

“Oh. Oh. Okay,” Taeil says. 

“Does it feel good?” 

“Yes.” Taeil says, grinding down harder. “Oh!” 

Donghyuck is just staring at him in awe. Like Taeil is the most amazing sight he’s ever seen. His scent flares, and Taeil feels his scent intensify in response. His instincts feel so completely satisfied and pleased that he can hardly believe it. This is what he’s been missing out on. Why hasn’t he done this sooner? Donghyuck can make him feel so good. Why isn’t Taeil making Donghyuck feel good? 

He can see Donghyuck’s erection in his pants and his mouth almost waters. His hands wander down to Donghyuck’s crotch, but Donghyuck swats them away. 

“Nope. This is about you. Not me.” Donghyuck says. 

“But-”

“No,” Donghyuck says. “I only want to see you cum.” 

Taeil looks down, red in shame and arousal. It seems extra filthy that he’s so exposed while Donghyuck is still fully dressed. Like Taeil is some kind of wanton omega. 

He supposes that he is though -- writhing on Donghyuck’s leg. 

“Your scent is strong,” Taeil says. 

“Oh sorry. Is it too much?” Donghyuck asks. 

“It’s fine. It’s just… strong,” Taeil says. “Oh!” He moans as he hits a particular rhythm. 

“Are you gonna cum?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil hears himself whimper. He wants to cum but he doesn’t. He wants the release but he simultaneously doesn’t want the moment to end. 

“No. Yes,” hegroans, letting his head fall forward.

“You’re allowed to. It’ll make you feel better,” Donghyuck says, moving one hand off Taeil’s waist to rest on his ass. His hands seem larger like this, cupping Taeil’s asscheeks. 

One of Donghyuck’s fingers rests on Taeil’s hole and just the gentle pressure is enough to send him over the edge. Slick gushes out and he knows that Donghyuck notices.

Taeil cums with a wail -- cum spurting onto his shirt. He claps his hand over his mouth, feeling ashamed at the noise he just made. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Donghyuck says. He’s half teasing, half serious. It shouldn’t be as arousing as it is. Donghyuck’s finger presses further into Taeil’s hole just a little bit and then he moves his hand back to Taeil’s waist. Taeil feels like he’s about to pass out. He wants Donghyuck’s stupid knot. He wants to be fucked until he can’t think straight.

“It’s embarrassing,” Taeil says. “I’m a mess.”

“You’re in heat,” Donghyuck replies. “And it’s just me.” 

That’s the problem, Taeil thinks. It’s Donghyuck. Donghyuck who’s younger than him and clueless in so many ways, but who’s here anyways, spending Taeil’s heat with him.

“I should wipe up,” Taeil mutters and gets up from Donghyuck’s lap on shaky legs. There’s a large wet spot on Donghyuck’s pants from Taeil’s slick. Taeil feels a perverse sense of satisfaction knowing that he put it there.

“I don’t mind,” Donghyuck says. “I don’t mind at all.”

“But you’re all… messy now,” Taeil hears himself whine.

“I am. But you feel better now, and that’s all that matters.”

“Donghyuck,” Taeil exhales.

“You’re doing so well,” Donghyuck murmurs. Taeil looks away. He’s simultaneously pleased and embarrassed.

“Am I?”

“Yes. So well,” Donghyuck repeats. Taeil hears himself gasp, and more slick leaks out. “God. You smell so good.”

“It’s my heat.”

“No. It’s you.”

Taeil is back on Donghyuck’s leg before he can stop himself, hands coming to rest on Donghyuck’s shoulders. His hips are gyrating in little circles -- he doesn’t need much stimulation at this point.

“Yes, Taeil,” Donghyuck croons. “Just like that. Cum for me. You’re so good.”

“Am I?” 

“Yes. The best omega.” 

“Donghyuck,” Taeil half-sobs as another orgasm pulses through him. 

“Good pup,” Donghyuck says, and reaches a hand up to softly brush Taeil’s hair out of his face. Taeil’s heart feels too large for his chest all of a sudden.

//

The heat gradually wanes. Taeil doesn’t feel the same urgency to come. He just feels tired, achy, and maybe a little needy. But it’s nothing that having Donghyuck nearby doesn’t alleviate.

He realizes that for the first time Donghyuck’s bedroom smells of him too. His scent has permeated the room in the same way Donghyuck’s scent has. It smells like them. Like they’re a real couple. It makes Taeil feel a little dizzy.

//

“I knew you could control yourself,” Taeil says to Donghyuck when he’s almost fully back to himself. “Or that you’d leave if you really couldn’t.”

“It was hard,” Donghyuck admits. “I’ve never been around an omega in heat. And you’re…” he tapers off. 

“I’m what? Your mate?” Taeil asks. 

“You smell really good,” Donghyuck says, swallowing midway through his sentence. “To me.” 

“Oh. Thank you?”

“But you got slick in my bed that time I was away didn’t you?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil freezes. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Taeil says. Donghyuck huffs out a laugh. 

Donghyuck is suddenly right behind him, both his body and scent making Taeil feel funny. 

“It’s just that now I know what you smell like when you’re aroused and I can’t help but notice some similarities,” Donghyuck says, his tone almost teasing. Taeil gulps. Donghyuck is enjoying the fact that he’s embarrassed and uncomfortable. 

“I…” Taeil tapers off. Donghyuck is grinning. He clearly knows that Taeil got slick in his bed and he wants Taeil to admit it out loud. 

“Dreaming about me were you? Of course you’d get slick thinking about how handsome I am,” Donghyuck asks. 

“You wish,” Taeil replies with a snort.

“You were dreaming about somebody else then?” Donghyuck asks, his gaze getting a little more intense.

“I don’t want to answer that question,” Taeil grumbles.

“It doesn’t matter if you were dreaming about somebody else,” Donghyuck says. “Because at the end of the day it’s me and me only who gets to see you cum. In my bed.”

Taeil wants the earth to fall out from underneath him. He wants lightning to strike him. He wants to be carried away by some giant bird. 

Because he isn’t sure if his fragile instincts can handle Donghyuck talking to him like that. Like an alpha. 

“Why are you all shy now?” Donghyuck asks. “What happened to the Taeil who sat me down and rode my thigh?”

“He was in heat,” Taeil says.

“He should come out more,” Donghyuck says. “Even if he’s going to pretend that he doesn’t wake up all slick from dreaming about me.”

“I’m leaving now!” Taeil replies brightly, pushing himself off the sofa.

Donghyuck just laughs and laughs. 

“You can be as shy as you want,” Donghyuck says between laughs. “But now I know how shameless you can be. And I like it.” 

Taeil doesn’t say anything. He just flees before things get any worse. He can handle innocent and cute Donghyuck. He can’t handle this flirty and sexy Donghyuck. Not even close. 

“I’ll see you later!” he calls out. “Have a good day!” 

“Don’t miss me too much!” Donghyuck calls back, still laughing.

//

Taeil emerges into the world after his heat to find that the weather has gotten colder. He shivers his way to find Yoonoh.

“Heat?” Yoonoh asks when he sees Taeil. Taeil nods. “How was it? I didn’t see that alpha of yours around.”

“Yeah he… Was there with me,” Taeil admits. Yoonoh’s face splits into a grin. 

“Was he?” Yoonoh asks and elbows Taeil lightly. 

“Yes. Okay, okay,” he says. “But he didn’t sleep with me.”

“Oh,” Yoonoh says, face falling with disappointment. 

“You’re way more involved in my sex life than even I am,” Taeil says and Yoonoh snorts. 

“So no more pups coming to the pack then?” he asks cheekily and Taeil wants the ground to swallow him up. 

“No. None,” he answers. 

They’re almost at the kitchens when Doyoung and Youngho appear on the path. Doyoung nods politely to both of them.

Taeil is expecting Youngho to be weird or flirtatious towards him after their last encounter. But Youngho is neither of those things. 

Youngho is staring at Yoonoh. 

//

He sees Joohyun. She’s all bundled up, cheeks pink in the cold. She’s as beautiful as always, but Taeil’s eyes don’t feel as drawn to her as they were. 

She waves and Taeil takes that as a sign that he can go over and speak to her.

“Hello,” he says. 

“Hello,” she says back. “How are you?”

“Good,” he says. 

“Good. I’m glad,” she says, visibly awkward. 

“How are you?” 

“I’m good too. Busy finishing up with some medicine preparations.” 

“I’m sure,” Taeil says, hoping that he doesn’t look as uncomfortable as he feels. 

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know I said I wanted to be friends but I’m being terribly awkward, aren’t I?”

“You’re doing fine,” Taeil says. “I can give you some space if you’d like. If that would be easier.”

“Maybe it would be,” Joohyun says. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Taeil replies. She gives him a small smile, and he thinks that maybe things will be alright.

//

Donghyuck is late coming home that night. Dinner is cool on the table by the time he gets in.   
Taeil is about to crack a joke when he catches a glimpse of Donghyuck’s face -- he looks devastated. 

“Donghyuck?” Taeil prods. “What’s going on?”

“Can I just sit here for a moment?” Donghyuck asks. 

“Of course,” Taeil says. Donghyuck sits down on the sofa, not at the table. 

Without even thinking, Taeil takes a seat beside him -- not touching, but close. 

It takes a second but then Donghyuck slumps into Taeil’s side. He’s never been like this around Taeil -- never shown such vulnerability to him. 

Taeil looks at Donghyuck’s face. He looks his age. He looks like he’s a freshly presented alpha with the weight of the world on his shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” Taeil whispers. “You don’t have to hold onto it alone.” 

Donghyuck is quiet for so long that Taeil is sure he isn’t going to answer.

“It’s my dad,” Donghyuck says finally in a tiny, young voice. “He’s sick. And they don’t know if he’s going to get better.” 

And he wraps himself around Taeil with a half-sob.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay -- I finished my degree and my job, signed up for 5 fic fests, and then my parents separated so life has been ROUGH. 
> 
> I hope that this chapter makes up for the wait! I’ll now have more time to prioritize writing because I’m jobless lmao ❤❤
> 
> The largest thank you to Sol for beta reading this!!!!

Taeil’s mouth falls open at Donghyuck’s news. 

"What do you mean?" he asks. 

"He's sick. There’s something wrong with his chest,” Donghyuck answers. His body sags against Taeil. “That’s why he asked me to go on the alpha hunt in his place. God. I was so stupid.”

“You’re not,” Taeil replies, rubbing Donghyuck’s shoulder idly. “How were you supposed to know?”

“I don’t know. I can’t help but feel like I was supposed to know.”

Taeil is silent for a while. Donghyuck’s breathing slows.

“What does that mean for you?”

“It means that I’ll be busy for the next while,” Donghyuck answers. “I’m going to be taking over his duties while he recovers. If he recovers.”

“I’m sure he will,” Taeil says, taking Donghyuck’s hand in his and squeezing. “You don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Donghyuck sighs. 

“I feel overwhelmed,” he says. “And I don’t know what to do.”

“I know you’ll figure it out,” Taeil assures him. His instincts are alarmed at his alpha’s obvious distress and he pulls Donghyuck into a hug to try and calm the two of them. 

“I hope so,” Donghyuck replies into Taeil’s shoulder. Taeil has never seen him look so defeated. He hates the sight, and he quickly realizes that it isn’t just his instincts. Taeil himself is sad to see Donghyuck like this. Donghyuck is his mate but he’s also his friend, the last few sun cycles have shown that. 

Donghyuck goes to bed quietly that night. He doesn’t even say goodnight to Taeil, which is another sign that he isn’t himself. 

//

Taeil thinks about Donghyuck the next morning as he makes his morning hot lemon water and breakfast. Donghyuck left earlier than usual that morning, undoubtedly to start his new duties as one of the head alphas of the pack. Taeil feels a little dizzy just thinking about it. 

In the span of less than a moon he’s gone from an unmated and undesirable omega to the mate of the acting head alpha. While status isn’t the most important thing to him, Taeil can tell that he’s going to need to adjust. He’d grown used to the prospect of never mating and mating a high-status alpha had never crossed his mind. 

Now he’s in the opposite situation to anything he’d ever imagined — Taeil has responsibilities. The mate of a head alpha is a leader too, they stand beside their mate in everything. He honestly doesn’t know if he’s ready to take on that role. He and Donghyuck aren’t truly mated, they’re in a mating of convenience more than anything. He isn’t the mate of a pack alpha. He’s just… Taeil. 

//

“You’ve met the alphas from that other pack right?” Taeil asks Yoonoh. 

“Kind of,” Yoonoh answers, blinking. “Why?’

“What do you think of Youngho?” he asks. 

“I don’t really know him,” Yoonoh says. “He said hello to me once.” Taeil blinks.

“Really? He didn’t say anything else?” he presses.

“No,” Yoonoh replies. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.”

“Taeil.”

“I saw him staring at you, is all,” Taeil says. “He was a bit creepy to me so I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate with you.” Yoonoh bites his bottom lip.

“Ugh,” he says with a sigh. “All alphas are the same, aren’t they?” Taeil’s mouth opens to protest that Donghyuck’s behaviour doesn’t resemble that of a typical alpha but he decides that perhaps it isn’t the best time. 

“They are,” he says instead. “Anyways, I just thought I’d let you know.”

//

The depths of winter set in. The cold bites at Taeil’s face when he leaves Donghyuck’s house. 

He’s grateful for the clothes Donghyuck gave him because otherwise he’d hardly be able to get out and do things. The cold here is nothing like he’s ever experienced.

Taeil spends most of his time at home except when he needs to go get food, and he doesn’t have that much to do when he’s at home except putter around. He doesn’t see Donghyuck for most of each day. Donghyuck doesn’t get home until late and by the time he gets home he’s so tired that he mostly just shovels dinner into his mouth and goes to bed. 

It’s the strangest thing but Taeil misses Donghyuck even though he’s right there. They sleep in the same room and eat dinner together but Taeil feels incredibly far from Donghyuck. Distance between them made his chest hurt, but this separation makes Taeil’s heart hurt in a very different way.

//

Taeil decides to bake some grain bread to cheer himself up. He goes to the food storage cabin to get some oats and grains. He pushes open the door and he sees that there are two people already inside and they’re talking.

“I still can’t believe he chose Taeil,” a woman is saying. Taeil freezes and his heart sinks into his stomach. He shuts the door again quietly, leaving just a sliver open so he can hear.

“If he was a proper omega mate he’d be pregnant by now and due soon. They’ve been mated long enough,” a man says. 

“Maybe Donghyuck isn’t attracted to him.”

“I wouldn’t be… He’s so much older than Donghyuck. Or maybe Taeil doesn’t let Donghyuck touch him like a good omega would. There must have another omega that he sleeps with,” 

“If I were him I’d have lots of different omegas. One of them is probably pregnant if Taeil isn’t.”

Taeil doesn’t hear the rest of the conversation because his heart is pounding in his ears. Donghyuck wouldn’t do that, would he? Taeil thinks about his relationship with Joohyun. It wasn’t an affair, but it wasn’t not an affair either. But he and Donghyuck hadn’t been getting along particularly well at the time -- Joohyun was an escape more than anything. Now Taeil’s relationship to Donghyuck is different and they’ve drawn closer. They are friends. _Almost_ friends. 

He’s never thought about Donghyuck having another omega. He’d assumed that Donghyuck would be faithful to him. Perhaps that was naïve.

Another deeper part of him is hurt and angry

How is he expected to stand before the pack if this is what they think of him and Donghyuck?

He skims a hand over his stomach. There’s nothing there but his food from breakfast. Certainly he’d had thoughts during his heat but every omega experiences those. 

Having a pup with Donghyuck seems ridiculous. Donghyuck is far too young to be interested in having a family -- he’s just barely grown out of being a pup himself. 

Then Taeil remembers how Donghyuck had taken care of him when he was ill and then during his heat and Donghyuck didn’t behave like a child then, he behaved like an alpha. 

Taeil’s instincts twinge in protest at his original thought. Perhaps there’s a small part of him that wants that family life with Donghyuck. Lately Donghyuck has shown himself to be an admirable alpha who wants to treat Taeil well. 

Maybe because he has an omega on the side to fuck whenever he wants. Taeil frowns at the thought. But then again, he’s always been told that alphas have needs and Donghyuck certainly hasn’t been sleeping with him. It makes sense that he’d look elsewhere. Plus, Taeil hardly sees Donghyuck these days so it would be difficult for him to even know where Donghyuck is and who he’s with.

Taeil doesn’t even end up going to get the grains. He doesn’t want to face the people who were talking about him. 

//

His stomach is in knots for the next few days thinking about what he’d overheard. Worse, Donghyuck doesn’t even notice Taeil’s strange mood. He’s too busy with his own worries -- telling Taeil about the border patrols and their dealings with Youngho and Doyoung’s pack. 

//

One bright spot in his life is his weekly walks with Taeyong. Taeil is grateful for the opportunity to socialize -- those opportunities seem to be scarce in the bitter cold winter.

Their boots crunch through the snow while Taeil gathers the courage to ask about the gossip.

“I have a weird question for you,” Taeil says. 

“How weird is weird?” 

“Am I supposed to be pregnant?” Taeil asks. Taeyong sends him a confused look. 

“Um… are you?”

“No.”

“Then why are you asking?”

“I heard some people talking about it. Wondering why I’m not already pregnant.” 

“Oh,” Taeyong says, his expression changing. “Well. It’s very traditional for the pack alpha to be mated to an omega and have pups. It doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do, but some people hold on to that belief anyways even though it’s from a million years ago.” 

“My pack was all omegas. We didn’t really have traditions like that,” Taeil replies, his mind whirring. 

“Have you talked to Donghyuck about it?” 

“No,” Taeil says. “He’s been so busy. I know it’ll upset him if he hears that people have been talking about me.” Taeyong sends him a sympathetic look. 

“He’s your mate though.” Taeil sighs at Taeyong’s answer. 

“I know. I’ll talk to him,” he says. He will. He just doesn’t know when. 

He doesn’t want to burden Donghyuck with his problems. Donghyuck is already carrying the weight of his pack alpha duties. Surely Taeil can handle his own gossip problems.   
  
//

Another bright spot of Taeil’s life is that Jaemin and Jeno stop by to eat dinner with him several times a week. Taeil is happy to have the company.

“You’re just here for the food,” Taeil says when they show up for the sixth time in two weeks. 

“And to keep you company,” Jeno replies. 

“The food is an incentive but so is seeing our favourite hyung,” Jaemin says with a smile. Taeil smiles back

“Did Donghyuck ask you to visit?”

“If you can believe it, no, he didn’t,” Jeno answers. 

“Actually he asked us to spend less time with you but we ignored him,” Jaemin replies. Taeil giggles. 

“Yes, that sounds like the three of you,” he says. Jeno laughs. 

“Well, he’s being selfish keeping you to himself,” Jaemin adds. 

“He’s my mate,” Taeil replies. His response makes Jeno smile softly. 

“Hmm. We told you that he was a good alpha, didn’t we?” Jeno says. Taeil rolls his eyes.

“Always giving me relationship advice but Donghyuck hasn’t told me anything about either of you courting anyone,” Taeil teases lightheartedly, trying to deflect the conversation off of the subject of his and Donghyuck’s relationship. 

Jaemin snorts. “The two of us? We’re bachelors for life.”

“Exactly,” Jeno says. 

“You’re the same number of moons as Donghyuck and he’s already mated,” Taeil reminds them. “You have plenty of time.”

“Donghyuck is different though,” Jeno replies. “He’s always been a romantic. He was a tiny pup when he first started talking about finding his mate.”

“Ugh. It was gross,” Jaemin says. “No offense, Taeil.”

“None taken? I think?” Taeil replies with a laugh. “What… Can I ask what he was like as a pup?”

“You want embarrassing stories?” Jeno asks in a delighted voice. 

“Sure,” Taeil nods. 

Jaemin and Jeno launch into stories of Donghyuck when he was younger. Taeil is almost crying of laughter by the time they finish telling him about Donghyuck chasing after his own tail for a whole morning. 

“That sounds like something he’d do now,” Taeil says, mid-giggle. 

“Sadly, it does,” Jaemin replies, laughing himself and leaning onto Jeno for support to keep himself upright. 

“It’s getting late,” Taeil says. “You two should head home.”

“We can stay longer if you want?” Jeno asks. Taeil shakes his head. 

“Both of you can go home. I’m just fine here,” he reassures. “Donghyuck ought to be home soon.”

//

Acting somewhat on impulse, Taeil goes to visit Donghyuck’s father. Donghyuck’s mother shows him inside with a happy smile and pours them both a cup of tea before leaving them alone. 

Donghyuck’s father is resting in bed when Taeil comes in. He looks pale and small -- nothing like the strong looking alpha that Taeil had first met.

“Taeil!” Donghyuck’s father exclaims. Taeil can tell that he’s mustering as much energy as possible speaking with him. “I didn’t know you’d be stopping by.” 

“I thought I’d come and see how you’re doing. Donghyuck is too busy to come with me today, but he might come see you tonight,” Taeil replies and Donghyuck’s father smiles. 

“That’s very kind of you.”

Taeil asks Donghyuck’s father about his days, questions if he needs anything, and tells him about Donghyuck being busy. 

“I knew that he’d be a good pack alpha,” Donghyuck’s father muses. 

“He’s taken his responsibilities very seriously,” Taeil replies. Donghyuck’s father rests a gentle, frail hand on Taeil’s. 

“Donghyuck cares for you a lot,” he says. “Thank you for coming to see me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And I’m glad that he has you to take care of him.”

Taeil smiles back at him. 

“I’m glad I have him too.”

//

His visit to Donghyuck’s father inspires Taeil in a different way than he might’ve expected. He’s never felt any kind of urge to take care of anybody before but he wants to take care of Donghyuck.

Chores for the pack are minimal because it's the winter time so Taeil has plenty of time in his days.

He starts off by cleaning Donghyuck’s cabin -- washing all the linens, scrubbing the floors and walls, and mopping the floors. 

The process of it makes Taeil feel a little bit more like it's his home too.

“What’s this for?” Donghyuck asks when he gets home that evening and sees the sparkling house.

“I just wanted to clean things up a bit,” Taeil answers with a shrug. “So it’s nice and clean when you get home.” 

Donghyuck looks intently at him. 

“That’s very thoughtful of you, thank you, Taeil.”

Taeil feels a little bit ridiculous to turn so red from such a simple praise. 

  
//

He’s noticed that Donghyuck has lost some weight -- undoubtedly due to stress, but also because Donghyuck has mentioned having to skip lunch. It worries Taeil enough that he decides to make and bring Donghyuck a hearty lunch. 

He goes to the cabin in the village where the pack alphas meet to discuss pack affairs, hoping that he isn’t interrupting anything 

“Can I give something to Donghyuck?” he asks the alpha at the door. 

“Give me what?” he hears, and Donghyuck materializes behind the other alpha. “Taeil? What are you doing here?” Donghyuck asks, looking confused but delighted. 

“I brought you food. I thought you probably hadn’t eaten.”

“Thank you,” Donghyuck says, looking relieved and grateful. “You’re right. I haven’t eaten.”

“You’re welcome,” Taeil replies. “Make sure you eat well.”

“I wish I had time to eat with you, but I’m too busy,” Donghyuck has regret evident on his face.

“Don’t worry about me,” Taeil says. “I already ate. And besides, I’m not the one with all the responsibilities.”

Donghyuck reaches out and cups Taeil’s cheek with one of his hands. 

“You made me your responsibility though, and I’m grateful.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Taeil says. “Go on, you need to get back to your work.”

“I’ll see you later,” Donghyuck whispers. 

“Bye.” 

//

Taeil starts bringing food for Donghyuck more often. It cheers him up to see Donghyuck in the day, even if just for a few moments, and he watches Donghyuck grow healthier as the days go by. 

Most of the time Donghyuck just barely has time to take his lunch before he has to leave to do something else but some days Taeil gets to sit with Donghyuck for a few minutes and talk about their days. It helps to push aside the feelings of uselessness and worthlessness that came up when Taeil overheard the people gossiping about him. He’s proving that he can be useful to his alpha. 

//

Donghyuck finds Taeil sitting on the porch one evening. Taeil wasn’t expecting him to be home. He’d been thinking about the gossip about Donghyuck cheating. 

“What’s got your forehead all wrinkled?” Donghyuck asks lightheartedly. “I haven’t seen you like this in ages.”

“It’s nothing,” Taeil replies. 

“It doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“I’ve just been hearing some things,” Taeil says meekly. “Wondering why I’m not pregnant.” Donghyuck blinks at him in confusion, and then anger comes over his face. 

“People have been bothering you about being pregnant?” Donghyuck asks. 

“I wouldn’t say bothering per se,” Taeil replies.

“Well, you’re not pregnant are you?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil laughs. 

“No. One hundred percent no,” he answers. 

“I don’t know what the future holds,” Donghyuck says, and strokes Taeil’s cheek. “Neither does anybody else. Let’s not worry about it then, or about people who know nothing about us.”

“I know. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’d never bother me,” Donghyuck says. “You’re very important to me.”

“I know it’s silly,” Taeil replies. “I just… I guess I wanted to show that I can handle my own stuff.” Donghyuck looks at him curiously. 

“I can respect that,” Donghyuck says. “But we’re a pair. If you ever need any help with anything, you know that I’m there to back you up.”

“Okay,” Taeil says, relief warming his chest.

“Can I ask you one thing though?” 

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to be pregnant?” Donghyuck whispers. 

“No,” Taeil says, and bites his lip. 

“Okay, then that’s all that matters,” Donghyuck replies. “I have to finish up this meeting but I’ll see you later at home, okay?”

“Okay.”

Donghyuck bumps his shoulder against Taeil’s shoulder and leaves with a wave. 

Taeil wonders idly if Donghyuck is offended by his answer. Alphas typically want pups right away, at least that’s what Taeil has heard. Even when they’d been talking before mating, Taeil got the impression that Donghyuck wanted a family.

Donghyuck would be a good father, he thinks. 

//

Taeil is on his way into the village the next morning when he catches sight of Taeyong. He jogs to catch up with him but just as he’s about to call out, he sees Yuta come around from behind a tree. 

“Hey you,” Yuta says. 

“Hey,” Taeyong says. Neither of them seem to see Taeil. 

“You look beautiful today,” Yuta says, his gaze soft. 

“I didn’t do anything different,” Taeyong replies. 

“Because you look beautiful every day.” 

“Yuta!” Taeyong says with a smile. “You’re too much.”

“I’m not,” Yuta replies stubbornly. “I just want to be enough for you.” Taeil watches Taeyong bite his lip. 

“Oh. I brought you something,” Taeyong says and hands him a sweet rice cake. Yuta’s smile grows even larger.

Taeil can’t help but grin at the sight before turning to take a different path. He doesn’t want to bother them. Taeyong seems so carefree around Yuta, and Taeil hasn’t ever seen Yuta smile this much at a person. He would’ve never thought of two of them together but seeing them now has him convinced that they’d work well. 

//

“Before you leave can I do something?” Donghyuck asks Taeil after he’s handed over Donghyuck’s lunch one afternoon. 

“Yes?”

Without warning Donghyuck leans into Taeil, so close that their chests are touching. Close enough that Donghyuck can undoubtedly hear Taeil’s racing heartbeat. 

"What are you doing?" Taeil asks, looking at Donghyuck. Donghyuck's eyes are closed.

"Getting energy," he answers, leaning in closer. 

"You're being creepy is what you're doing."

"We're mated. You always smell good to me, whether I like it or not."

"You always say the sweetest things to me," Taeil says. Donghyuck's scent starts to wrap around him too. Donghyuck is right -- they're compatible, and mating makes the effects of their scents stronger. Just being close to each other causes a calming sensation. Taeil hates it.

"Just one more second," Donghyuck says. Taeil doesn't say anything. He could. He could make a fuss or push Donghyuck away. Donghyuck would let him. 

But he doesn't. He just lets Donghyuck relax into him, and he realizes that’s what’s changing between them. Their relationship is driven by choice not obligation, and the difference seems astronomical.

“I’m sorry we don’t see each other very often,” Donghyuck says after they’ve separated.

“You’re busy,” Taeil replies. 

“But you’re my mate.” Taeil’s heart flutters at Donghyuck’s words and he doesn’t want the feeling to stop.

//

“So,” Taeil begins when he sees Taeyong on their next walk. “You and Yuta.” 

Taeyong stiffens. 

“What about him and I?” Taeyong asks. 

“I saw you guys hanging out. It looked pretty cute.” Taeyong actually blushes. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with us but… I like him. He’s kind.” 

“He’s a good person,” Taeil says. “I grew up with him and he’s been a good friend. He’d be good to you.” 

Taeyong gives him a hopeful look. 

“He’s been nothing but good to me so far. We’re friends.”

“Just friends?” Taeil asks and Taeyong blushes. 

“Well…”

“Well?”

“Well maybe I want to be more than friends,” Taeyong admits shyly. 

“It seems to me that he does too.”

“You think?”

“I grew up with Yuta and I’ve never seen him act the way that he does around you. I’ll leave it at that,” Taeil teases.

“Really?”

“Really, really.”

“So if I confessed to him… He would like me back?”

“I think he would.” 

Taeyong raises and lowers his shoulders. “That’s good to know. But what about you? Did you talk to Donghyuck?”

“I did,” Taeil answers and fills Taeyong in on the conversation between him and Donghyuck.

“I told you he’d want to know,” Taeyong says. 

“I know. And he handled it well.”

“I’m sort of surprised that he was so nonchalant about pups. He always stares at you like he wants to jump you.” Taeil coughs on his own saliva. 

“Huh?” he asks. Taeyong smirks. 

“You’re telling me that you haven’t noticed how he looks at you?”

Taeil doesn’t know what to say.

//

“Guess what?” Donghyuck tells Taeil one evening as they’re getting ready for bed.

“What?”

“I have the day off tomorrow. We don’t have anything to do so I get to relax. Is there anything you’d like to do?” Donghyuck asks. 

"You told me that you'd take me to some hot springs, remember?" Taeil asks. 

“I suppose I did,” Donghyuck replies. “That sounds nice.”

So the next day Donghyuck leads Taeil to some tucked away hot pools in what feels like the middle of the forest. The water is a white blue from the minerals and steaming in the cold air. It looks perfect, Taeil thinks. 

"You can go in first. I'll stay turned around until you tell me,” Donghyuck says. Taeil smiles at Donghyuck’s consideration of his modesty.

He strips down quickly in the chilly winter air and steps into the hot spring. The water feels heavenly. Taeil can't hold in a moan when he fully submerges. 

"Having fun?" Donghyuck asks, still facing away. 

“Mind your business,” Taeil replies. "You can turn around," Taeil says shyly. 

“Now you turn around,” Donghyuck says. “Unless you want a knot view?”

“Donghyuck!” Taeil screeches and Donghyuck laughs. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”

Taeil closes his eyes and listens to the quiet rustling of Donghyuck getting undressed and then the small splash when he slips into the water.

“All good,” Donghyuck says. 

Taeil opens his eyes to see Donghyuck on the other side of the small pool -- there’s perhaps three paces between the two of them. Enough space for privacy but easy enough to touch one another. 

“This is nice,” Taeil says. It is -- the water is the perfect temperature and the steam from the water warms his face.

“You just wanted to see me naked,” Donghyuck teases.

“I see you naked almost every night at home,” Taeil retorts.

“Catch a good look, do you?” Donghyuck asks wickedly and Taeil blushes. 

“I’m not a pervert.”

"You're cute when you blush," Donghyuck says, which of course makes Taeil blush harder. He splashes Donghyuck, who splashes back, which leads to a small water fight. 

Taeil looks over at Donghyuck -- his hair is slicked off his forehead and the fine features of his face are shown off. Taeil’s heart thumps. 

“Are you relaxed?” he asks.

“More than before,” Donghyuck answers. “But you know what would really help me relax?” he asks and waggles his eyebrows up and down. 

“No,” Taeil replies. “Whatever you’re thinking… No.” 

“What if I just wanted a shoulder rub?” Donghyuck asks. 

“You don’t.”

“My shoulders really are sore,” Donghyuck whines. He blinks at Taeil hopefully. Taeil sighs. Donghyuck does look tense, he’s holding his shoulders strangely.

“Alright,” he says. “Come here in front of me.”

Taeil positions himself behind Donghyuck and takes hold of Donghyuck’s shoulders. Sure enough there are tight knots in them. 

“Oof,” Taeil says. “No wonder you’re so sore.” He rubs harder at the knots, noticing the way Donghyuck sags forward. “Does it hurt?” 

“No,” Donghyuck grits out. “Keep going.”

Taeil digs a knuckle in a spot on Donghyuck’s shoulder and Donghyuck lets out a low groan. The sound of it goes straight to Taeil’s dick. He makes sure that there’s enough space between Donghyuck’s back and his cock.

“There again please,” Donghyuck asks in a strained voice. Taeil forces himself to take a deep breath and keep his mind from straying to filthy places.

He massages up and down Donghyuck’s back, using the water to smooth over the skin. With each slide of his hands against Donghyuck’s back, Taeil’s dick grows harder.

“Right there!” Donghyuck moans, and Taeil wants to spread his legs right then and there.

“You can reach that spot yourself,” he says, pulling his hands off of Donghyuck’s skin. Donghyuck turns around and in doing so, his leg brushes against Taeil’s erection.

“Taeil?” he asks inquisitively. 

“Yes?” 

“Are you hard from giving me a massage?”

“No!” Taeil squeaks out, and launches himself out of the hot spring and dresses himself in impressive time. He doesn’t even care if Donghyuck can see him, but if he stays in the water for another moment he might do something foolish like kiss Donghyuck.

Donghyuck is laughing as he gets out of the hot spring. Taeil keeps his eyes focussed on the snow. 

“It’s a perfectly normal reaction Taeil,” he says. 

“I did not get hard from giving you a massage,” Taeil insists. 

“Was it me moaning?” Donghyuck asks in a low husky voice. Something zings down Taeil’s spine.

“No.” 

“You have a terrible lying face.”

//

The pack hosts a feast to celebrate successful trading between their pack and Youngho’s pack. Taeil has heard a little bit about it from Donghyuck and the relationship means that both packs will have access to the things they lack in the winter time -- certain medicinal herbs from Taeil’s pack, and extra grains from Youngho’s pack. 

“I’m a little nervous to see Youngho,” Taeil tells Donghyuck as they walk to the feast. 

“It’ll be okay. You’ll be with me the whole time. He won’t dare touch you,” Donghyuck replies, eyes dark. 

“Okay,” Taeil says. 

Donghyuck finds them a spot at a tucked away table, just the two of them sitting together away from the noise and ruckus of the rest of the pack. 

“They’ll bring us food,” Donghyuck says. “So you just come here.”

And then Donghyuck pulls Taeil to sit on his lap. Taeil sits uncomfortably for a moment -- holding himself stiffly so he doesn't put any weight on Donghyuck. He moves to try and get up but Donghyuck's hands come down to rest on Taeil's hipbones. 

“Stay here,” Donghyuck murmurs into his ear. His fingertips are touching on Taeil’s lower abdomen and he’s holding Taeil tight to him. 

A beta that Taeil doesn’t know comes by with trays laden down with food, staring at them curiously.

“Alpha,” the beta greets. “Mate.”

“Hello. Thank you, you can just leave that here,” Donghyuck tells him. 

Donghyuck reaches for some of the spiced bread and lifts it towards Taeil’s mouth. 

“I can feed myself,” Taeil says. 

“Taeil,” Donghyuck says, and grips his hand into Taeil’s hip. Taeil opens his mouth and lets Donghyuck feed him. 

Donghyuck gives him a little bit of everything, all while Taeil is perched on his lap and actually growls when Taeil turns down the dessert. 

“I’m full,” Taeil protests.

“Indulge me,” Donghyuck murmurs. Taeil opens his mouth. “Good boy.”

After the meal is over, Donghyuck shows no sign of letting Taeil move. Taeil tries to stand up several times but Donghyuck doesn’t let him. 

“Stay here,” Donghyuck asks. “Please?”

Taeil sighs, and then he gets an idea -- perhaps if he can force Donghyuck into being uncomfortable, Donghyuck will let him go.

Taeil wriggles slightly, shifting so that his ass is right on top of Donghyuck's dick. Donghyuck doesn't show any sign of response but Taeil won't accept defeat. He moves again so that Donghyuck is pressed as close to his ass as he could possibly be.

But then one of Donghyuck's hands slips along Taeil's pelvis, just a little bit, but enough that his fingers graze the top of Taeil's dick. 

Taeil doesn't know what comes over him.

He arches back against Donghyuck, and almost but not quite grinds down. From the outside it could pass off as just adjusting his position, but he knows that Donghyuck can feel his true intention.

"Taeil-ah," Donghyuck murmurs in his ear. "What are you doing?" His tone is like what a parent would use to chide a child. The nickname makes Taeil feel strangely shivery.

"Getting comfortable," he says, and pushes down again.

He can feel Donghyuck's cock swell underneath him, which hadn't been his intended goal at all. 

Donghyuck crooks one of his fingers, tracing over Taeil's pubic bone.

"You're not being good," Donghyuck says.

"You should know by now that I'm not good," Taeil replies, only realizing as he says it how flirtatious he sounds.

Donghyuck laughs, and Taeil can feel the sound in his body. 

"It's just that if you play with me, it's only fair that I get to play back." Donghyuck says into his ear, one hand smoothing quickly over Taeil's cock before coming back to rest over his hip. 

Taeil wills himself not to get aroused but he knows that it'll be a lost cause. He's sitting on Donghyuck's cock, even if there are layers of clothes between them, and Donghyuck's hands are roaming over Taeil's body like they belong there. And maybe they do, Taeil thinks.

Each time he breathes he can feel Donghyuck’s dick under his ass, and he starts to get slick. The air between them is thick with tension. 

“Are you ready to go home?” Donghyuck asks finally. Taeil nods, grinding against Donghyuck one last time. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen once they get home but he’s eager to find out. 

Except, once they stand up, Donghyuck doesn't touch him. 

Taeil's dick is throbbing and he has to adjust himself so it isn't so obvious that he's one touch away from letting Donghyuck publicly knot him. He’s certainly slick enough. 

The walk home is painful -- Taeil can smell Donghyuck’s arousal and he wants to taste it on his tongue. 

Donghyuck hardly even looks at him once they're home. Taeil can see that he's still hard, his knot swelling at the base of his cock, but he doesn't make a move.

Taeil wants to yell. He wants to throw himself at Donghyuck. He feels ridiculous. He's a mated omega who can't touch his alpha and it seems entirely absurd. 

He even blatantly changes for bed in front of Donghyuck, hoping that perhaps Donghyuck won’t be able to resist. But Donghyuck just gets changed for bed himself, not even sparing a glance at Taeil. 

He wants to jerk off to relieve the tension simmering below his skin but Donghyuck would know. It would be awkward if Taeil got out of bed and went outside and he doesn't want to jerk off under the covers when Donghyuck is six feet away. 

“You bastard,” he mutters. 

“What was that?” Donghyuck asks. 

“Nothing,” Taeil answers, willing his erection to go down. He wants Donghyuck to pick him up and fuck him. 

“Goodnight,” Donghyuck says cheerfully. 

Taeil sighs and curses silently. It takes him a long time to fall asleep, but this time for an entirely different reason than he’s used to.

//

Taeil wakes up in Donghyuck’s bed with Donghyuck asleep on top of him. He has no memory of getting into Donghyuck’s bed -- he’d definitely gotten into his own bed the night before. Donghyuck’s scent is the strongest that Taeil has ever smelled and Taeil realizes why Donghyuck had been so brash the night before at the feast -- Donghyuck is in pre-rut. 

Donghyuck wakes up soon after Taeil does, and blinks down at him. 

“I’m in your bed,” Taeil says. “I don’t think I climbed in myself.”

“I carried you in,” Donghyuck replies. “Shit. I can hardly think with your scent so close.” Taeil’s heart sinks. 

“Oh. Sorry,” Taeil says and squirms out around Donghyuck, feeling Donghyuck’s erection against him as he does. 

“My rut is going to be here very soon,” Donghyuck says. “Shit. I need to get up.”

"Are you going to spend it here?" Taeil asks. He feels something like hope bloom inside of him. 

"I'm going away for it. You won't have to deal with me," Donghyuck practically grunts. 

"Oh," Taeil says. "Will it be safe?" 

"An alpha in rut? I wouldn't let anyone close to me," Donghyuck answers. It must be the rut speaking because Donghyuck doesn't seem to realize what he's implied. He wouldn’t even let Taeil close to him. 

“Oh.”

"I should go before it hits," Donghyuck says, his eyes flashing red for a moment.

"You should," Taeil agrees. But part of him doesn't want Donghyuck to go, wants Donghyuck to stay and let Taeil take care of him through the rut. He doesn’t know what that would entail but part of him wants to find out.

Donghyuck squeezes Taeil's waist one more time before practically running out of the cabin. 

//

That night Taeil imagines Donghyuck holed up somewhere in the mountains, lust-drunk and aggressive.

His mind flashes, imagining himself writhing under Donghyuck. Donghyuck is pulling Taeil into his arms and kissing him firmly. He imagines Donghyuck thrusting into him with one of his dark smiles. He imagines Donghyuck resting his hands over Taeil's lower stomach, like he's willing a pup into it. He imagines Donghyuck holding him tightly as a knot ties them together, both crying out as they cum.

He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He's being inappropriate. He and Donghyuck aren't like that. Donghyuck's pheromones must still be lingering in the air. Taeil has no other reason to be thinking such lewd thoughts.

On the next night Taeil has the strange thought that Donghyuck might be spending his rut with somebody else. He has no way of knowing if that’s true or not.

“Do you know if Donghyuck took anyone with him when he went away?” he dares to ask Yoonoh. 

“Wouldn’t you be the one to know?” Yoonoh asks. 

“Right,” Taeil replies. 

“Are you worried about him?”

“A little,” Taeil admits. “I know it’s silly…”

“It’s not silly,” Yoonoh says. “It means that you care about him.”

Taeil knows that he cares about Donghyuck, but it somehow seems embarrassing to hear from someone else. 

//

Taeil doesn’t even pretend that he isn’t waiting for Donghyuck to come home. The mixture of missing Donghyuck and praying that Donghyuck is alone roils in his head. He tries to stay busy but there isn’t much to do beyond pace and try not to think about Donghyuck knotting somebody else. He sleeps in Donghyuck’s bed and tries to scent as many of his things as possible. 

//

It takes four long days for Donghyuck to come back from his rut and Taeil hugs him as soon as he sees him. 

Donghyuck is still for a moment and then he relaxes and hugs Taeil back. He can smell the remnants of rut scent on Donghyuck’s skin and he feels the urge to surround himself in it. Rut seems to bring out the earthy notes in Donghyuck’s scent and the smell does something funny to Taeil’s omega. 

Best of all, Taeil can’t detect a single note of anybody else in Donghyuck’s scent. 

“Miss me?” Donghyuck asks in a teasing voice. 

“Of course not,” Taeil says. “You look tired.” 

“You know… staying up late. Thinking about you while I cum. Rut things.”

“You must be feeling fine if you can joke around.”

“Something like that,” Donghyuck says with a small smile. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Taeil answers. “I maybe missed you a little bit though.”

Donghyuck grins at this. 

“I hope you slept in my bed,” Donghyuck says. 

“Aish,” Taeil replies and flicks Donghyuck on the forehead. 

Taeil follows Donghyuck into their bedroom and watches him flop dramatically onto his bed and make a noise of satisfaction.

“My bed smells like you,” Donghyuck says. “It’s the best thing to come home to.” Taeil scoffs. 

“Don’t be gross.”

“I’m not being gross, I’m being grateful. I missed you while I was gone.”

“Of course you did. You were in rut. You probably missed every omega you know.” Taeil can hear Donghyuck inhale sharply.

“Is that what you think of me?” Donghyuck asks. 

“I was joking,” Taeil answers weakly. 

“I didn’t miss anybody except you Taeil. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Why didn’t you spend your rut here then?” Taeil asks. “With me,” he adds more quietly. 

Donghyuck’s expression grows serious. 

“Have you ever been with an alpha in rut?”

“No.”

“It’s not pretty.”

“But-”

“I didn’t want to hurt you!” Donghyuck interrupts. “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I hurt you, Taeil.”

“You wouldn’t hurt me,” Taeil protests.

“I don’t know that,” Donghyuck says. “Alphas lose control of themselves when they’re in rut, especially when they’re young. And, like you like to remind me, I’m a young alpha. I’ll get more control of my alpha as I get older.”

“I didn’t know that,” Taeil admits. 

“My rut snuck up on me. They’re a little irregular right now so I didn’t realize until it was too late.”

“Okay,” Taeil says. 

“Please don’t think badly of me. I thought of you the whole time I was away. When I was coherent I was thinking about you and hoping that you were doing alright. When I wasn’t coherent I was… imagining knotting you. There was nobody else in my mind.”

“Oh,” Taeil says. He feels silly. 

“Yes, oh,” Donghyuck replies. “I’m sorry that I made you doubt me.”

“I’m sorry for doubting you,” Taeil says quickly. “I… I know you. I know that you wouldn’t do that to me.”

“I could never.” 

//

He’s at the omega cabin having some mead with Taeyong the next afternoon when out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Donghyuck. 

“Who is that?” Taeyong asks, gesturing his shoulder towards the person Donghyuck is with.

Donghyuck is talking to a girl that Taeil doesn’t recognize -- she must be visiting from another pack, maybe she came with Youngho and Doyoung, Taeil thinks. She’s very pretty and she’s around Donghyuck’s age. She looks like the perfect match for the next pack alpha. Not like Taeil. 

He can read their body language. The girl is clearly attracted to Donghyuck, and while Donghyuck isn’t necessarily reciprocating the attraction, he isn’t leaving. Taeil feels sick. 

He doesn't think of himself as a particularly jealous person. And he knows that he can't say anything. It isn't fair -- not when he was doing something with Joohyun. It was before things changed between him and Donghyuck, just subtly, and now seeing Donghyuck with the girl has him seeing red. His sensitivity about Donghyuck’s rut has morphed into jealousy and he isn’t ashamed to admit that. 

"Are you okay?" Taeyong asks him, clearly seeing Taeil’s distress. 

“I’m fine.”

“You’re staring at that girl talking to Donghyuck like you want to murder her.”

“I’m not staring,” Taeil says, as he continues to stare. 

"Next time you're jealous, you should just stake your claim," Taeyong says, as if he wants to see what Taeil will say. 

"It's his life. He’s allowed to talk to whoever he wants," Taeil says, his face flushed. 

"You're his mate. You're allowed to be possessive," Taeyong says with a snort. Taeil doesn’t know how to respond. 

"It's innocent," Taeil forces himself to say. He rips his gaze away from Donghyuck and the girl. His palms are clammy and his instincts are practically screaming at him. “I’m going to get more mead.” 

Taeil drowns his sorrow in two more mugs of mead and then says goodnight to Taeyong. 

//

Donghyuck doesn't come home that night. Taeil stays up waiting for him but the night stretches on and Donghyuck does not come home. 

Taeil tries not to let his thoughts wander towards the possibility of Donghyuck sleeping with the girl but he can’t stop them. Maybe Donghyuck has been seeing her for some time, Taeil thinks. That would explain why he seemed so nonchalant about her attraction. He must just save his affection for private settings. Donghyuck has always come home, always always. Taeil had thought that Donghyuck would want to spend time with him but he must’ve thought wrong, he thinks bitterly.

//

Taeil wakes up the next morning feeling anxious and miserable. Donghyuck’s bed is still empty and his scent is faint. Taeil feels nauseous. 

He tries to clear his mind by scrubbing the kitchen from top to bottom. He visualizes the girl’s face under his cleaning rag. 

“What did that rag do to you?” Taeil hears and whirls around to see Donghyuck leaning against the door to the kitchen. 

“You’re home,” he says flatly. 

“Yes. Sorry I’m late.”

"Is everything alright?" Taeil asks coldly. 

"Yeah," Donghyuck says. "Why do you ask?" 

"Just wondering," Taeil says, staring just past Donghyuck's ear. He can’t bring himself to look at him.

"I fell asleep at Jeno and Jaemin's place. I should've let you know," Donghyuck says. 

"You're allowed to do what you want." 

"It's still polite to let you know."

“I guess.” 

Taeil’s feet have somehow walked him right in front of Donghyuck. 

“You look like you didn’t sleep well,” Donghyuck says. Taeil wants to cry. 

“I didn’t.”

Donghyuck grabs Taeil's waist and tugs him in close. As usual, the sensation of Donghyuck's touch is amazing, and Taeil feels himself go a little boneless. Best of all, he can pick up notes of Jeno, Jaemin, and himself. No other scents. 

"I promise I was at Jeno and Jaemin's house," Donghyuck says quietly, letting his hands linger on Taeil’s waist and hips. 

"Alright," Taeil replies. 

“It won’t happen again, hmm?”

“Okay,” And then, “What are you doing?" 

"Scenting you,” Donghyuck says. Taeil's stomach clenches. “You’re being all curious so I’m just making sure you know who I come home to.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Taeil says, almost stammering over his words.

“I can see right through you,” Donghyuck says, his nose grazing along Taeil’s neck. Just quickly, there’s the touch of lips on Taeil’s neck in one of his most sensitive spots, and Taeil has to hold in his moan.

“You don’t know me,” he says.

“Don’t I?” Donghyuck asks, and kisses Taeil’s neck quickly. Taeil melts. “I think I know you alright.”

“No, you don’t,” Taeil protests, but there isn’t any real force behind it. 

Donghyuck takes Taeil by the bicep and forces them to look at each other. 

“I’m sorry. They invited me over for drinks and we had too much fun. I wasn’t being considerate of you. You must’ve been worried about me.”

“I wasn’t worried,” Taeil lies. 

“It’s okay if you were.”

“I really wasn’t.”

“Taeil,” Donghyuck says patiently. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I’ll always come home to you.”

His words do something funny to Taeil’s insides. Taeil feels his hand quiver a little bit and before he realizes it, he’s launching himself into Donghyuck’s arms, nuzzling into his neck. 

“I was worried,” he whispers. 

Donghyuck smiles at him. 

“I’m sorry, Taeil.”

“Thank you.”

//

Donghyuck’s father gets sicker and sicker. Each time Taeil goes to visit him he tries to be cheery and pretend that nothing is wrong but Taeil would have to be blind not to see that his body is failing him. He does his best to cheer up him but there’s only so much he can do. 

//

Donghyuck comes home earlier than usual one day with a strange look on his face.

“You’re home early,” Taeil says, smiling at Donghyuck. 

“Because my parents told me that it’s official,” Donghyuck says. 

“What is?” Taeil asks, the smile falling off of his face.

“My father is going to step down as a pack alpha. That makes me his official replacement.”

“Oh Donghyuck…” Taeil tapers off. He doesn’t know what to say. 

“They’re going to declare it at a feast tonight.”

“Mmm.”

“There’s no way I can do it,” Donghyuck says suddenly. Taeil startles. 

“What are you talking about? Of course you can do it!” Taeil says. “You can do anything you want to, you know that? And you have me,” he murmurs. “I’m here beside you.”

Donghyuck inhales subtly. 

“I’m here with you,” Taeil repeats. “I’m here with you every step of the way.”

Donghyuck reaches out and squeezes his hand. 

“I’ll see you at the feast tonight?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil nods. 

“I’ll be there,” Taeil promises. It feels like more than just a promise to attend. It feels like their ties to one another are growing stronger and more authentic. 

Donghyuck is his, just as he is Donghyuck’s. 

//

  
Taeil puts a little more attention into his appearance. He checks his hair to make sure that it’s agreeing with him and puts a bit of salve on his lips. 

Before the feast begins, the pack alphas gather in front of the pack and one of them announces that Donghyuck will be taking over his father’s duties. Taeil can feel the pack’s eyes on him, hyperaware of Donghyuck’s absence. 

He eats with Yoonoh, Taeyong, and Yuta. Taeyong and Yuta feed each other dinner while Yoonoh gags and Taeil cranes his neck trying to spot Donghyuck. 

“Where’s Donghyuck?” Yoonoh asks. 

“He’s coming I think,” Taeil replies. 

“They announced him as a pack alpha. You’d think that he’d be here.” 

“He told me he’d be here,” Taeil says snappishly. “Sorry. You don’t deserve that.”

Donghyuck doesn’t arrive at the feast until the food isn’t being served anymore and everyone has settled in front of the fires with tea and mead. 

Taeil is just standing up to go greet him when his heart stops. Donghyuck has only barely sat down when the girl from the previous feast takes up the seat beside him. The girl reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind Donghyuck's ear and Taeil’s blood boils. Donghyuck is his.

"Are you alright?" Yoonoh asks him. Taeil’s hands clench into fists. 

"Excuse me," Taeil says. 

His feet are carrying him to Donghyuck before he can even realize what's happening. He's seeing red. He can't control himself. Someone is flirting with his alpha. Someone is touching his alpha. 

He reaches Donghyuck and, without pausing, he sits down sideways in Donghyuck's lap and wraps his arms around Donghyuck's shoulders. From this angle, his mating mark is unmistakable. 

His entire body feels relieved to be touching Donghyuck like this. 

Donghyuck isn't bothered at all -- he just shifts how he's sitting to accommodate Taeil. 

"Oh," the girl says, her eyes widening in realization. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," Donghyuck says warmly. Taeil hates the fact that they're even still speaking. He doesn't hesitate — he leans into Donghyuck's neck, breathing in his scent. Donghyuck smells faintly of arousal, and Taeil is seething.

"I didn't know you were mated," she says, and now that Taeil realizes this, his anger is directed at Donghyuck rather than her, he relaxes and smiles. 

"It's alright," he replies, far friendlier than he might have predicted. 

"I'll. I'll leave you be then. Goodnight," she says, and Donghyuck hums in response. Taeil exhales. 

The girl might be gone but Taeil stays. He can't find it in himself to get off of Donghyuck. His limbs are too heavy. Donghyuck is warm. 

"You smell a little off," Donghyuck murmurs. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," Taeil answers. He lets himself lean onto Donghyuck just a little more. He's never appreciated the broadness of Donghyuck's chest until now. Donghyuck adjusts too, pulling an arm around Taeil's waist to hold him steady. 

"You're cute when you're jealous," Donghyuck says. 

"I'm not jealous," Taeil protests. 

"It's just that you don't climb into my lap for nothing," Donghyuck points out and Taeil knows that he's thinking of the other time Taeil got in his lap. Taeil blushes at the memory. His scent picks up too, involuntarily sweet at the thought of Donghyuck's hands on him like that. "Not that I'm complaining," he adds. 

"If I'm heavy, just tell me."

"Never," Donghyuck says. "You'd never be heavy." He sounds so certain that Taeil's chest almost hurts. 

They spend the rest of the evening like that, Taeil cuddled up on Donghyuck. It's nothing like the first time Taeil was in Donghyuck's lap. This is almost platonic. 

Taeil feels himself get sleepier and sleepier as the night goes on. Jaemin and Jeno come up and say hello to Donghyuck but Taeil tunes them out, he just stares into the fire and lets his head rest on Donghyuck's shoulder.

"Shall we go home? You look tired," Donghyuck asks finally. Taeil nods. 

He stumbles slightly as he stands up but Donghyuck steadies him. 

They walk back home in silence. The night is cold and Taeil finds himself shivering. 

“Are you cold?” Donghyuck asks. 

“No,” Taeil lies, but his chattering teeth give him away. Donghyuck smiles and pulls off his outer fur to wrap it over Taeil’s shoulders. 

“There.”

“Thank you,” Taeil says and tugs the fur closer.

“I’m always happy to take care of you.” Donghyuck reaches down to take Taeil’s hand. They walk home hand in hand. 

Taeil is actually sad to let go when they get home and Donghyuck tells him that he’s going to get some firewood so Taeil should go inside first. 

He has no reason to sleep beside Donghyuck but he finds himself getting ready for bed and instead of getting into his bedroll like he usually does, he climbs into Donghyuck’s bed. The scent alone is relaxing. His instincts are calmed almost instantly. It isn’t that girl that comes home to Donghyuck’s bed, it’s Taeil. 

Donghyuck comes into the bedroom and stops when he sees Taeil. He looks almost alarmed at the sight of Taeil in his bed.

"Taeil?" he asks. "Is everything alright?" 

“Yeah.”

“But you’re…”

"Are you coming to bed or not?" Taeil asks. 

Donghyuck eyes him curiously, but he strips down and changes into his pyjama pants anyway. Taeil carefully looks down until he can feel the main duvet lift up. It might be ridiculous to feel so prudish around his mate but he can't help it. He and Donghyuck aren't like that, even if they are sleeping in the same bed. 

Taeil closes his eyes and lets his breathing slow. It feels so right to be here in bed beside Donghyuck. Perhaps it’s his jealousy or perhaps it’s just the inevitability of this. Donghyuck is his mate -- they both sleep better when they sleep close to each other. 

Donghyuck’s scent settles over him, calming Taeil’s jealousy. He moves closer to Donghyuck and allows himself to feel good. 

"You should get jealous more often if it gets you in my lap and my bed," Donghyuck murmurs. Taeil continues to feign sleep even as his heartbeat speeds up. He'd thought that Donghyuck wasn't affected by Taeil's jealousy. He'd thought that Donghyuck wouldn't even notice, let alone want it. 

Taeil feels a feather light kiss on his forehead and something warm courses through his body. 

He could pretend to be asleep and tomorrow he could pretend that this moment never happened. He doesn’t want to do that. 

He opens his eyes. Donghyuck’s eyes widen in surprise, as if he wasnt expecting Taeil to be awake.

“I don’t want to be jealous,” Taeil whispers. “I want everyone to know that I’m yours.” 

“You are mine,” Donghyuck whispers back. 

Donghyuck is so close -- all he'd have to do is lean his head down a little more and their lips would touch. There's a desperation in Donghyuck's eyes. 

Donghyuck's hand presses Taeil closer. 

"Donghyuck?"

"Yes?" Donghyuck whispers back gently. His voice is full of want. 

The realization hits Taeil: he would let Donghyuck do whatever he wanted because Taeil wants him just as desperately. Perhaps he didn't choose for them to be mated to one another, but he can choose to love Donghyuck anyways.

“Goodnight,” Taeil says, his voice ragged. Donghyuck leans in and kisses Taeil’s forehead again. Taeil’s heart is about to gallop out of his chest.

“Goodnight, my summer wolf.”


End file.
